poopy.
i think this is the first time ive tasted real rejection. i mean usually, i just stop liking the person and i fade them out so they dont exist. but im stuck with constant thoughts of why? whats wrong with me? i wasnt even thinking commitment, but now that its so far out of the picture, i just want someone to grab onto and make them my own. its the whole want what you cant have deal again. the chase. i need a filler. someone i can unleash my energy onto. seems a little whorey and selfish but thats what im feeling. boo. :[
other than that, i face non guy related rejection all the time. gahhhhh.
my frend told me to "play games" ie mind games. and im like what the ! no!! hes my friend! nobody deserves to be played like that. and then today, deja vu from my friend. crazzzyyyy. yeah i can imagine drama, pain, jealousy, stupid relationship crap, so its better this way. rite.
i dreamt i found my sister tanning and she was a really orange tan, but she had these HORRIBLY UGLY SUNSPOTS all over her face and body. it was sooo gross. they were huuuge. and then i dreamt of some really cute figure, and they made me incredibly happy; when i woke up, i felt SOOOOO good!!! i wanted to sleep some more to dream and find out who the figure was but i had class. why does that alwasy happen!? ugh!
other than that, i face non guy related rejection all the time. gahhhhh.
my frend told me to "play games" ie mind games. and im like what the ! no!! hes my friend! nobody deserves to be played like that. and then today, deja vu from my friend. crazzzyyyy. yeah i can imagine drama, pain, jealousy, stupid relationship crap, so its better this way. rite.
i dreamt i found my sister tanning and she was a really orange tan, but she had these HORRIBLY UGLY SUNSPOTS all over her face and body. it was sooo gross. they were huuuge. and then i dreamt of some really cute figure, and they made me incredibly happy; when i woke up, i felt SOOOOO good!!! i wanted to sleep some more to dream and find out who the figure was but i had class. why does that alwasy happen!? ugh!