another night...

[vickie_velcro]

walking through allston after a midnight movie, still reeling from painkillers: half asleep, half movie-dazed with bleary eyes and an exhaustion unscathed by fresh air. ahh yes, it was seriously wonderful, in the way that those moments can sometimes be. damn, that walk was filled with unequivocable ridiculousness: girls with their asses hanging out, drunken college kids, puking ya-dudes, random old friends, fresh vitamin water atop a trash can and a whole lotta laughter. and me, a whole lotta drugged up. lately i feel like a bad 80's movie: stay out too late, wake too early, dark circles & make-up, fantastic dresses, pain in my face won't go away, smile at work & ignore the ache, return home, pour a drink, then it wears off, take a pill, dance around my bedroom, get real loopey, leave house become excessively social and outgoing, make crude comments and out of place jokes, become surprised at laughter, go home, eat icecream, passout. and this goes on. its funny really no. but its not my fault, its either drink to numb my face or take the damn pills. most people would probably kill for my completely justified and necessary booze and pill course of action, but i'm a relatively content and amused individual. save for hopelessly and romantically doomed in a comic-book kind of way, i enjoy my life. even trudging through allston when the bars are letting out puts a smile on my face. therefore i don't need or want to be numb, out of it and only able to recall bits and pieces of conversations and events.

plus i've eaten more pureed bean, pea and lentil stews than is probably healthy. what was i saying? oh yes, men folk confuse the shit outta me. why can't things be simple? oh never mind, i'll remain ellusive and elaborate the next time. when the drugs wear off.

x, vickie "i spose yer guess is just as bad as mine".