(no subject)
85 year old man walks into the office of a high ranking official from the IRS with his lawyer. He had been audited and summoned to appear. The IRS man begins "Mr. Jones, for the past 67 years, you have put down 'professional gambler' as your occupation on your income taxes. With an average yearly salary of over $100,000, we here at the IRS find this very hard to believe. How do you explain it"
Mr. Jones looks at the IRS man and replies "Well, Sonny. I'm very lucky. I'm also very good."
"Be that as it may, sir, the IRS does not believe you have been so successful for so long strictly from gambling."
Mr. Jones replies, "well, I can prove it to you. Want to make a bet and see how good I am?" The IRS man decides to humor the elderly gent and agrees. He answers "sure. Whats the bet?". Mr. Jones replies "Well, I bet you $2000 that I can bite my own eyeball."
The IRS man figures it's impossible so he says "OK, you have a bet." With that, Mr. Jones proceeds to remove his glass eye and bite it. He replaces the eye and says "OK, Sonny, you owe me $2000."
Pissed off beyond belief, the IRS man says "Not fair! Give me a shot at double or nothing!" Mr. Jones replies "OK, you got it. I bet you double or nothing, that I can bite my other eyeball."
The IRS man figures there is no way it's possible, since Mr. Jones is clearly not blind. He agrees, "Ok, you're on!"
Mr. Jones proceeds to remove his false teeth and gently bite his other eyeball.. The IRS man is fuming mad, and Mr. Jones informs him, that he now owes him $4000. The IRS man demands another shot to clear his debt. Mr. Jones tells the IRS man that he has one more shot to clear his debt with another double or nothing bet. He bets the IRS man that he can stand on one side of his desk, and piss clear over the desk into a standing waste-basket without getting a drop on the IRS mans desk. The IRS man is excited, because he knows there is no way this old man can clear his 7 foot desk without spilling a drop. He agrees to the bet.
With the bet in place, the old man stands up on the side of the desk and begins urinating. He proceeds to piss ALL over the IRS mans desk. All over the papers, all over the computer, just everywhere.
Realizing he is now in the clear financially, the IRS man is ecstatic. he begans hooting and hollering when he notices Mr. Jones' lawyer shaking his head in disbelief and regret. he says to the lawyer "Why are you upset?? I just saved thousands of dollars with this winning bet!"
The lawyer says "When I told Mr. Jones that he was being audited, he told me "Fvck the IRS guy, I bet you $25,000.00 I can go in there, piss all over his desk and he'd be happy about it!""
Mr. Jones looks at the IRS man and replies "Well, Sonny. I'm very lucky. I'm also very good."
"Be that as it may, sir, the IRS does not believe you have been so successful for so long strictly from gambling."
Mr. Jones replies, "well, I can prove it to you. Want to make a bet and see how good I am?" The IRS man decides to humor the elderly gent and agrees. He answers "sure. Whats the bet?". Mr. Jones replies "Well, I bet you $2000 that I can bite my own eyeball."
The IRS man figures it's impossible so he says "OK, you have a bet." With that, Mr. Jones proceeds to remove his glass eye and bite it. He replaces the eye and says "OK, Sonny, you owe me $2000."
Pissed off beyond belief, the IRS man says "Not fair! Give me a shot at double or nothing!" Mr. Jones replies "OK, you got it. I bet you double or nothing, that I can bite my other eyeball."
The IRS man figures there is no way it's possible, since Mr. Jones is clearly not blind. He agrees, "Ok, you're on!"
Mr. Jones proceeds to remove his false teeth and gently bite his other eyeball.. The IRS man is fuming mad, and Mr. Jones informs him, that he now owes him $4000. The IRS man demands another shot to clear his debt. Mr. Jones tells the IRS man that he has one more shot to clear his debt with another double or nothing bet. He bets the IRS man that he can stand on one side of his desk, and piss clear over the desk into a standing waste-basket without getting a drop on the IRS mans desk. The IRS man is excited, because he knows there is no way this old man can clear his 7 foot desk without spilling a drop. He agrees to the bet.
With the bet in place, the old man stands up on the side of the desk and begins urinating. He proceeds to piss ALL over the IRS mans desk. All over the papers, all over the computer, just everywhere.
Realizing he is now in the clear financially, the IRS man is ecstatic. he begans hooting and hollering when he notices Mr. Jones' lawyer shaking his head in disbelief and regret. he says to the lawyer "Why are you upset?? I just saved thousands of dollars with this winning bet!"
The lawyer says "When I told Mr. Jones that he was being audited, he told me "Fvck the IRS guy, I bet you $25,000.00 I can go in there, piss all over his desk and he'd be happy about it!""