But At The Right Place, At The Right Time, I'll Be Dead Wrong, You'll Be Just Fine.
Ugh. I'm exhausted.
I worked this morning, which was excellent. I know it's just a small place, nothing to brag or write home about, but money is money and I'm alright with that. After, I went to the gym to work out for a bit, and release a ton of pent up anger.
Life has become quite crazy lately. Montreal was amazing, I absolutely loved the city & had quite the memorable experience, inside and outside of committee sessions. I can't quite put it into words, but it was the best time I've had in a long while. I can't wait until next year, I'm in the midst of planning the competition in Chicago, I would love to see a new city! Although, if we were to go back to Montreal, I'd not be sad, I assure you. =)
I've been working my ass off trying to help Amers establish S.T.A.N.D. on campus, and I think we're about ready for lift off. Being a T.A. = not as exciting as one tends to think. It's a lot more work than healthy, a lot more frustrating than the reward, especially when your Prof sets the bar higher than anyone can jump. I really idealize him, he's everything I would really like to do in my life, he's done so much and I can't imagine my life being anything short of that amazing. It upsets me more than anyone could ever know when he tells me he's dissappionted or expects more from me. I'm trying really hard, and I know he sees it and commends me on it, but still, I feel his expectation bar rise every single day, and his e-mails speak of nothing less. Why do I feel like I'll never be enough? I have so many extracirricular activities, classes, & now work hours that I can barely function. I need to start worrying about where I can internship this summer, or even work inside the city. I know Prof said he would find me something, even if it's T.A.ing with him again, but I don't know. Spend my summer here, working for him? It'd be great, because he adores me as well, but I don't know.
I'm getting excited. It's almost time for the summer, which means that it's almost my last year as an undergrad. I'm nervous about the encroaching time frame, but I'm excited. I can't wait to fill out that graduation application, start talking more to the Study Abroad lady so we can solidify my application to LMU. I think I'm also going to apply to go to grad school in Ireland, but I'm really hoping for London. I need to focus on studying for my GRE's this summer, but that's one thing at a time right now. Can you picture it? Me, studying in London? Not even for just a semester, I would live, breathe, bask in European life. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but we'll see.
I've spent my entire life leading up to this. I cannot believe it's coming down to it, and I cannot believe the dreams I have. I live for my dreams, and have the essential people I've always looked for. I don't think I've ever had the best friends I have now in my life. Granted, there were some people who influenced my life an incredulous amount and I miss them with every breath I take, but no looking back. I promised myself this, and thus it'll always be. =) Maybe memories?
I worked this morning, which was excellent. I know it's just a small place, nothing to brag or write home about, but money is money and I'm alright with that. After, I went to the gym to work out for a bit, and release a ton of pent up anger.
Life has become quite crazy lately. Montreal was amazing, I absolutely loved the city & had quite the memorable experience, inside and outside of committee sessions. I can't quite put it into words, but it was the best time I've had in a long while. I can't wait until next year, I'm in the midst of planning the competition in Chicago, I would love to see a new city! Although, if we were to go back to Montreal, I'd not be sad, I assure you. =)
I've been working my ass off trying to help Amers establish S.T.A.N.D. on campus, and I think we're about ready for lift off. Being a T.A. = not as exciting as one tends to think. It's a lot more work than healthy, a lot more frustrating than the reward, especially when your Prof sets the bar higher than anyone can jump. I really idealize him, he's everything I would really like to do in my life, he's done so much and I can't imagine my life being anything short of that amazing. It upsets me more than anyone could ever know when he tells me he's dissappionted or expects more from me. I'm trying really hard, and I know he sees it and commends me on it, but still, I feel his expectation bar rise every single day, and his e-mails speak of nothing less. Why do I feel like I'll never be enough? I have so many extracirricular activities, classes, & now work hours that I can barely function. I need to start worrying about where I can internship this summer, or even work inside the city. I know Prof said he would find me something, even if it's T.A.ing with him again, but I don't know. Spend my summer here, working for him? It'd be great, because he adores me as well, but I don't know.
I'm getting excited. It's almost time for the summer, which means that it's almost my last year as an undergrad. I'm nervous about the encroaching time frame, but I'm excited. I can't wait to fill out that graduation application, start talking more to the Study Abroad lady so we can solidify my application to LMU. I think I'm also going to apply to go to grad school in Ireland, but I'm really hoping for London. I need to focus on studying for my GRE's this summer, but that's one thing at a time right now. Can you picture it? Me, studying in London? Not even for just a semester, I would live, breathe, bask in European life. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but we'll see.
I've spent my entire life leading up to this. I cannot believe it's coming down to it, and I cannot believe the dreams I have. I live for my dreams, and have the essential people I've always looked for. I don't think I've ever had the best friends I have now in my life. Granted, there were some people who influenced my life an incredulous amount and I miss them with every breath I take, but no looking back. I promised myself this, and thus it'll always be. =) Maybe memories?