Breathe Every Little Piece of Me You'll See, Everything Is All Right.. If I Just Breathe.
I think I've been too stressed out lately & I've been taking it out on people who really shouldn't have to deal with me in that sense. My school load is nothing short of impossible, but I'm trying. I keep trying to maintain the idea that nothing is impossible & that I can do it, but six core classes is a lot more strenuous than I guess I've let on.
Sometimes I feel I have no life other than homework. I hear about all these fun things my friends are doing on Thursday nights, & I'm sitting inside struggling to get through foreign policies & court cases. I guess I'm a little jealous, more often than not, but in the back of my head I keep reminding myself that I fucked up my sophomore year & choose to spend that year as my buckwild year, & I'm paying for it now. I've chosen a life that's worth living, & unfortunately I need to work extra hard for that goal. I don't mind... sometimes.
I guess I feel stressed because I don't see as much of my friends as I'd like. Some of them barely pay any attention to their school work, so we can't do homework together & goof off then. I've dedicated myself to the poli sci club because, like it or not, I do need some sort of extra cirrcular activity. I kind of feel sometimes that the world is stacked against me. And I quit work! Imagine how broken down I'd be if I still was working every other weekend back home. I can feel the stress of not having money coming down on me though, and i hate it.
I'm trying desperately to get everything in order to graduate next January. I don't want to be here another entire year. I mean, if I have to I'll do it. But I'd rather do my internship next spring. We'll see though. I'll be sad not being here with PJ. Hopefully we can work something out. It's weird looking around & thinking that it's coming down to the wire with a lot of my friends here, & I can't help but wonder if I'll see them after we graduate. It makes me sad, & I can feel a heavy burden creep onto my heart.
Maybe I'm depressed. The real world isn't that far away, and I keep pushing myself to achieve better grades in school so I can graduate higher in my class. I push PJ to be better too, and I think it annoys him, and I don't think I blame him. I don't know why I'm like this. :(
Sorry for my rambles.
Sometimes I feel I have no life other than homework. I hear about all these fun things my friends are doing on Thursday nights, & I'm sitting inside struggling to get through foreign policies & court cases. I guess I'm a little jealous, more often than not, but in the back of my head I keep reminding myself that I fucked up my sophomore year & choose to spend that year as my buckwild year, & I'm paying for it now. I've chosen a life that's worth living, & unfortunately I need to work extra hard for that goal. I don't mind... sometimes.
I guess I feel stressed because I don't see as much of my friends as I'd like. Some of them barely pay any attention to their school work, so we can't do homework together & goof off then. I've dedicated myself to the poli sci club because, like it or not, I do need some sort of extra cirrcular activity. I kind of feel sometimes that the world is stacked against me. And I quit work! Imagine how broken down I'd be if I still was working every other weekend back home. I can feel the stress of not having money coming down on me though, and i hate it.
I'm trying desperately to get everything in order to graduate next January. I don't want to be here another entire year. I mean, if I have to I'll do it. But I'd rather do my internship next spring. We'll see though. I'll be sad not being here with PJ. Hopefully we can work something out. It's weird looking around & thinking that it's coming down to the wire with a lot of my friends here, & I can't help but wonder if I'll see them after we graduate. It makes me sad, & I can feel a heavy burden creep onto my heart.
Maybe I'm depressed. The real world isn't that far away, and I keep pushing myself to achieve better grades in school so I can graduate higher in my class. I push PJ to be better too, and I think it annoys him, and I don't think I blame him. I don't know why I'm like this. :(
Sorry for my rambles.