here i go again
Why is it when you know something good will eventually happen you can't stop thinking about it and it makes you sad right now. I can' really talk to much about this but i am just, i don't know. I am happy don't get me wrong but i feel as if i am missing something. Something i can't explain, something i know will come, something lasting but something that is teaching me patients. I am trying really hard and im trying not to bring it up in conversation but when thats the only thing on my mind and you ask me what i am thinking what am i supost to do. Am i suppost to lie and tell you that i don't think about it because that is clearly all i think about now. Would you rather i just forget it ever happened? Would that make it easyer? What am i suppost to do about this, huh? I am just as confused as you. I am lost in this world of emotion and don't really know what to think or do about it. I can't act upon it for reason we both know but i can't keep it inside. But when we talk about it i get sad knowing that its not relistic anytime soon. BUt i can't forget, i don't want to forget about it. I am always thinking, wondering, dreaming, pondering, visioning it and waiting. But how long is long enough, Why should this be something to wait for. Maybe i am just being crazy or unrealistic, or maybe not. Does anyone really know. Can anyone really tell us whats the right or wrong thing to do. Does anyone have that knowledge, or even better yet does anyone have that much respect from the both of us that we trust them for advice. I think we have two options either go for it or stop talking about. We have to pick one of the two extreams. This middle of the road crap itsn't working and its going to drive the both of us nuts. You know that its bothing you too. You are stuggling with it. You want to make me happy but then at the same time your head is chimming in on the issue. Pick your head or your heart, I did and you know what I think. Whatever you do just pick one. I can't keep staying up thnking about this all night long. I love you, never forget that.