Hallowe'en, 1980 - a fancy dress party at the Potters

[innerslytherin]

Remus glared at the mirror and tugged at his costume again.  "I don't know why you insisted I wear the blasted corset," he grumbled.  He patted at his hair, which had been magically lengthened and coifed as elegantly as they could manage.  "I can't bloody breathe."

Severus wrapped his arms around Remus from behind, one hand holding the freshly-made Polyjuice for the evening.  "Oh, don't complain, you look absolutely sexy as a pirate wench."  His smirk was wide and very amused.

"You're a prat," Remus muttered, but he leaned back against Severus, trying not to muss his hair.  "You haven't got your coat on yet," he noticed.

"Mm, I was afraid of spilling Polyjuice on it."  Severus pressed a kiss to Remus' bare shoulder.  "Are we ready to go?  I've got a hip flask with more potion.  Thought that was rather authentic.  But I didn't want to take it till we were ready to leave."

"What are you going to look like?" Remus asked, feeling oddly vulnerable suddenly.  He was about to go to a fancy dress party full of his friends with someone he wouldn't even recognise.  He turned around in Severus' arms and kissed him anxiously before he could answer.

Severus held the potion out so it wouldn't spill, kissing Remus back.  "Don't worry.  I'll still have long dark hair."  He kissed Remus again, then took another look at the coiffed hair and the corset, smirking.  "I didn't want to go with anyone we went to school with, so I found a Greek man who looked our age.  I'm afraid I'll be tan."

"That'll be odd," Remus said.  "This whole thing will be odd.  Oh, God, I'm going to Floo Lily and tell her I have a cold."

"You had better not, Remus Lupin."  Severus scowled.  "After the way you sulked when I didn't want to go?  I don't think so.  We are going to this stupid party."

Remus sighed and looked at Severus with a worried expression.  "Suddenly I'm thinking of how dreadful it could be.  Merlin, don't forget to keep drinking your potion.  And don't forget to be nice to Sirius and James.  Pick on Peter if you want, everyone does, and Sirius and James'll find that amusing."  He thought about that.  "God, we're horrid to him.  We're horrible people, aren't we?"

"Relax," Severus said, finding this entire situation ironic.  "I won't forget my potion, I will be nice to Sirius and James.  I will be the perfect party date."  He smirked at himself, then frowned.  "Except I need a name."

"Oh!"  Remus blinked at him.  "Um.  What's your middle name?"

Severus frowned a little.  "Tobias."

"Well, there you go," Remus said, expression clearing.  "Tobias Prince."  He beamed at Severus.

Severus swallowed his ill expression and nodded.  "That works."  He was pretty sure the last Prince at Hogwarts was his mother, so he didn't think anyone would recognise the name.  He really did not want his father's name, but he didn't want to get into why he didn't want to use that name, and he decided he'd probably have a miserable time being nice to Potter and Black anyway, so what did one more miserable detail matter?

Remus lifted a hand to stroke Severus' cheek lightly.  "I still feel odd about being with someone who doesn't look like you," he confessed, leaning in to kiss him softly.  "But thank you, Severus.  For all of this."

"Really, I wish I didn't have to use Polyjuice," Severus admitted, stroking a hand down the back of Remus' corset.  "But I want you to enjoy the party.  I don't mind."  He had to admit to himself that he was quite interested in having such a disguise, in being able to be someone completely different, even if he didn't want to see Remus' smug git friends.

"I love you," Remus said, smiling at him.  One more kiss wouldn't make them any later.  He wrapped his arms around Severus' neck and kissed him.

Severus smirked and returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around Remus again.  He let his free hand wander lower and grab Remus' arse.  It was going to be very difficult not to do that all night.

With a gasp, Remus pulled away.  "Really, Tobias," he murmured.  "I'm not sure I know you well enough for that."  He gave Severus a breathless grin.

Merlin, it was too weird to hear Remus calling him his father's name.  He made certain not to wince, however, smiling instead at Remus' grin.  "What, I'm not even allowed to be your boyfriend?" he asked innocently.

"But I'm the shy, retiring type," Remus said, his grin widening.  "All books and no fun, that's me, remember?  I probably don't allow anything below the belt yet."

Severus couldn't help a snigger at that thought.  "Oh, so then I can kiss you?" he teased.

Remus pretended to think that over.  "Yes, kissing is all right," he said at last.  "But not excessive kissing in front of my friends, or I might blush."

Chuckling, Severus kissed Remus again.  He didn't think Remus would have even let him get a kiss, so that made the evening seem a little less dreary.  "Oh, but you're so cute when you blush."

"Dreadful man," Remus murmured breathlessly.  "We met at the library, I suppose?" he ventured.  "I think it's safe to say you work in potions, lots of people do that."

Severus smirked.  "Or I could be a Herbologist.  That's not quite so dungeon-y as potions."

"Oh, there you go, Herbologist.  Yes, that sounds good."  Remus smirked at him.  "Well, I think that's enough to be going on with," he said.  "Oh, wait, how long have we been going out?"

"Shouldn't be too long, or they'll be upset you kept it from them," Severus pointed out, hoping Lily didn't murder their story.

"Mm, good point," Remus said.  "Just over a month?  Or two?"

"Maybe closer to two, if I get to kiss you," Severus teased.

Remus laughed.  "All right, two months," he said.  "And I really like you, so I thought it was a good time for me to bring you to the party and meet my friends."  He kissed Severus one more time.  "Though I suppose I shall have to explain your strange disappearance later by having you have a family emergency in Greece or something."

"Yeah, that works," Severus agreed.  He smiled at Remus.  "Okay, we ready then?  I'll take the potion in the loo, it's kind of disgusting to watch."

Remus snorted.  "Ha, as if my turning into a bloody great wolf isn't disgusting," he said, but he released Severus and stepped back in front of the mirror to fuss with his costume again.  He used the lipstick charm they'd found in Witch Weekly to paint his lips a rather tarty red, and added eye makeup and blush to go with it.  Merlin, he'd never thought of wearing eyeliner before, but he sort of liked the look.  Too bad he hadn't known about this when he'd actually been a tart.

Now came the unpleasant part.  Severus parked himself in the loo - but not near the mirror over the sink - and took the potion.  It tasted absolutely rancid, but he clamped a hand over his mouth and refused to be sick.  He lowered himself to his knees slowly, squeezing his eyes shut against the burning feeling starting in his gut and spreading out over his entire body.  That was soon accompanied by a strange prickling sensation.  He shifted as he felt his limbs lengthen - he'd tried to find his height but apparently the Greek man had been taller than he'd thought - and opened his eyes to watch his sallow skin turn a rather pleasant golden brown.

He felt his hair thickening and his boots became too tight, his shoulders broadened and his nose tingled as it shrank.  When the strange feelings all stopped, he got unsteadily to his feet and checked the mirror, staring in shock to not see his own face staring back.

He still had an angular jaw, still had long black hair and black eyes, but his hair was thick and distinctly less greasy.  His nose wasn't small, but nor was it so large as it had been.  And he looked devilishly handsome in his tall leather boots, black breeches, and white poet's shirt with the open collar.  He gave the mirror a grin and decided he would look quite dashing with the green and black brocade coat as well.

Severus drew his wand and re-sized his boots, then exited the loo to re-join Remus in front of his mirror.

Remus stared at the stranger who had suddenly joined him in the mirror.  "Bloody hell."

Severus grabbed his coat from the chair and shrugged into it, then adjusted the shoulders a bit.  "I hope that's not a completely horrified 'bloody hell'," he said, then blinked at the surrealness of hearing a different voice.

He sounded different, too.  Remus turned to stare at him.  "It's just...Merlin, that's weird," he said.  "Kissing you is going to be very strange."

Severus watched Remus apprehensively.  "It's not too bad, is it?" he asked.

"Well, I mean, you're not ugly or anything," Remus said, "but you're not you, either, so...it's just...weird," he finished lamely.  He went over to him and fussed with the coat for a moment, then lifted his face to be kissed, feeling almost shy.

Severus found himself tilting his head further to kiss Remus, and was relieved that kissing, at least, was the same.  Well, it was the same for him.  He wasn't the one kissing a stranger, after all.  "I suppose your shyness will work well," he teased.

"I suppose so," Remus said, though the kiss had helped.  Severus wasn't the same, but he kissed in the same way, at least.  He smiled at him, dropping a hand to grasp Severus'.  "All right, shall I Apparate us?"

"Yes, go right ahead," Severus said, checking to make certain he had the flask of Polyjuice and then slipping an arm around Remus' waist.  He loved touching that corset.

They arrived off an empty street, in a narrow dead-end alley.  Remus took one more look at Severus and shook his head.  "Tobias is going to take some getting used to," he said ruefully.  He smiled and tugged on Severus' hand to lead him towards James and Lily's house.

Severus just smirked a bit, admiring Remus' make-up as he followed Remus.

The party was in full swing when they arrived.  Remus didn't even have to knock at the door, because it was standing open while an Auror, a vampire, and a Muggle rock star, smoked on the front step.  He nodded to them--he thought the rock star might be Dedalus Diggle--and pushed past them, looking around for Lily.  He wanted to find her first and let her in on the story he and Severus had concocted.

Lily was standing in the middle of a group of witches, one of whom was Alice Longbottom.  They were both holding babies, who were being fussed over, but when Lily saw him she handed Harry to Emmeline Vance and came over.

"Remus?"  Her green eyes were questioning.

He smiled, though his stomach was jumping.  "This is Tobias," he said quietly.  "Tobias Prince.  My boyfriend.  We've been going out for two months now, and I thought you lot ought to meet him."

Oh Merlin this was suddenly awkward.  Severus stared at Lily, willing her not to laugh.

"Tobias," she repeated, staring at him.  "A potions expert, I presume," she said, extending a hand to shake.  "But I don't remember ever seeing you at school, so I'm not sure you're a Slytherin."

Remus had expected her to realise Severus was in disguise.  He frowned slightly, but glanced at Severus.  Merlin, it was weird to see a Greek god instead of the dear, familiar face of his lover.

Merlin, Severus didn't like hearing that name.  He took Lily's hand briefly.  "Herbologist, actually," he said smoothly.  "Didn't go to Hogwarts."

"Really."  Lily glanced at Remus.  "I'm rather surprised to meet you.  Remus was seeing someone else, last I knew."

"Don't be stupid, Lily," Remus said, his voice low.  He met her gaze and held it for a long moment.

"I'm not being stupid," Lily replied with some asperity.  "I suppose I didn't know anything about this bloke, despite seeing you only a few weeks ago?"

Remus sighed.  "All right, look, if you want to say I didn't tell you..."

"No, no, I might as well take some of the blame."  She eyed them both.  "I like your other boyfriend better.  He doesn't look like he's going to feel up the next person who walks by."

Severus scowled at her, biting his tongue so he didn't start the party out saying something incredibly rude.

Remus snorted.  "Right, well, if you're going to take the blame, I'll tell James it was your idea to bring Tobias to the party," he said.  "Please tell me there are alcoholic beverages here."

"Of course there are," Lily said.  "In the kitchen.  Sirius is in there with Viriana Chase, though, so watch yourself."

"Alcohol, thank bloody God," Severus said, herding Remus towards the kitchen.  He didn't care if he had to go through Black to get it, either.

Remus snickered and kept his grip on Severus' hand.  He might as well face the music straight away.  Though he desperately hoped Sirius wouldn't make a scene until after Remus had got his first glass of Firewhiskey in him.

As Lily had warned, Sirius was in the kitchen, dressed in artfully ripped leather and denim (Remus suspected he was meant to be Stubby Boardman) and leaning in very close to a black-haired witch who was dressed rather unimaginatively as a kitten--at least, her costume left little to the imagination.  Remus averted his eyes from the woman's impressive cleavage and muttered, "Excuse us, just here for the drinks."

Sirius pulled away from the woman to stare as Remus poured himself a glass of Firewhiskey and bolted it down in a distinctly un-Moony-like way, then poured a second glass.  "Moony?" he said finally.

Remus turned, watching him with an expression that was trying very hard not to be worried.  "All right, Sirius?"

Sirius raised his eyebrows.  "Who's your friend?"

Remus cleared his throat.  "Ah.  Tobias, meet Sirius Black.  Sirius, Tobias Prince."  He very carefully didn't look at Viriana as he added, "My boyfriend."

Severus decided that if he was going to make nice with Black, he might as well act a bit more like him.  He smiled at both Black and the witch, finding that it was easier to be bold when he wasn't himself.  "Pleasure."

Sirius just stared at him, mouth open.  Then he transferred his stare to Remus.  "Boyfriend."

Remus shrugged, letting a slight smile cross his face.  "I thought it was about time you knew," he said.  "I've been going out with Tobias for about two months now."

Sirius kept staring.  Viriana wriggled until she was no longer pinned between Sirius and the cabinets.  "Nice to see you again, Remus," she said, and left the kitchen, looking annoyed.  Remus had a feeling this wasn't going to be a secret much longer.  Though of course he'd known that from the moment they walked in the door.

"You...Moony...a boyfriend?"

Remus sighed shortly.  "I'm queer, Sirius, have been for years.  I just never knew how to tell you, but it never really mattered until..."  He glanced at Severus, letting warmth bleed into his gaze.  "Until I met someone I liked enough to introduce you to."

Oh Merlin, Severus loved it when Remus looked at him like that.  He felt a tightness in his chest, smiling back at Remus.

Sirius spluttered for a moment, then fell silent.  When Remus looked back at him, he was staring at Severus, his eyes narrowed.  Finally he said, "If you hurt him, I'll bloody kill you," he said finally.  "I'm an Auror.  We know lots of ways to kill someone."  He was silent for another moment.  "Tobias, you said?"  He extended a hand.

"An Auror," Severus repeated, pretending to be impressed as he shook Sirius' hand firmly.  "I'll keep that in mind."

Remus bit his lip and scowled at Sirius.  "Be nice," he admonished, though he was relieved that Sirius hadn't somehow realised it was Severus and started throwing hexes.  Or started throwing hexes because Remus was queer.  "Sorry if I bollocksed things up with you and Viriana."

Sirius waved a hand.  "Doesn't matter, I'll find her again.  Or some other lucky bird."  He grinned.  "So what do you do, Tobias?  I don't reckon you were at Hogwarts with us.  I think I'd remember you."

"Didn't go to Hogwarts," Severus confirmed.  "I'm a Herbologist."

"Ah. Didn't do well in Herbology myself," Sirius said.  "Though Moony here took a NEWT.  Oh, Remus, that is."  He gave Remus a sheepish look.

Remus rolled his eyes.  "Childhood nicknames," he muttered.  "Right, we're going to go find James.  Is Peter here?"

"Somewhere.  I think he's still hoping to get Brown's younger sister to go out with him."  Sirius snorted.  "And James was talking to Dedalus and Elphias, last I saw him."

Remus nodded and glanced at Severus.

Severus smiled at Remus, then shifted past him to get himself a drink.  He turned, cup in hand, and smiled at Sirius.  "Later," he said amiably, turning to follow Remus.

They left Sirius staring after them, Remus with a jumpy feeling in the pit of his stomach, but relieved to have finally done it.  Or at least part of it.  He paused in an empty corner halfway across the room.  "That went well enough," he murmured, adjusting his skirts around him.  Of course, he wasn't sure what it would do to Sirius' opinion of him, but at least Sirius hadn't exploded in their faces.

Severus grinned abruptly, tugging gently at Remus' skirts.  "I did tell you how much I like this costume, didn't I?"

Remus blinked at him, startled by the grin and reminding himself that it was Severus grinning at him.  "I think you might've mentioned it, round about the time I was putting on the silk stockings," he murmured.

"Mm."  Severus reminded himself that he needed to behave, but he really liked Remus in that outfit.  It had him wanting to do very inappropriate things.  "Merlin, this is an odd situation, isn't it?"  He'd almost died when he'd been introduced to Sirius Black as Remus' boyfriend.  It had been terrifying, but also a little wonderful.  Of course, Sirius thought Remus had snagged himself some Greek man, but oh well.

"Very," Remus said, gazing up at Severus.  "You're taller than usual," he remarked.  He wished he could have the real Severus here.  "Sirius was friendly to you."

"Was he?" Severus asked.  "I suppose I was too nervous to notice."

"What? Tobias Prince, nervous?" Remus said, grinning and leaning in close to Severus.

"Ha."  Severus smiled and stroked Remus' cheek.  "This is all very brave of you."

"I just wish..."  Remus shrugged.  They both knew he wished he could tell the whole truth, and saying it here would be unwise.  "Anyway, I'm glad he didn't hex either of us."  His eyes warmed as he watched Severus.  He wanted a kiss, but he couldn't bring himself to kiss this stranger in front of so many people, even if no one was really paying them any mind.

Severus nodded.  "So what's next?"

"D'you want to drink some of that before I introduce you to James?" Remus asked, eyeing Severus' drink.  "Or would you rather just get it over with?"

Severus blinked, then glanced down into his cup.  Potter was the real challenge.  He bloody hated Potter more than any of them.  He downed the entire thing in one go, then fought down a cough.

Remus stared.  "Right."  He raised his eyebrows, took a long drink of his own, then held the cup out to Severus.  "I suppose you need that more than I do."

"Cheers," Severus said, and downed the rest of Remus' too.  He stepped closer so they were almost touching, watching his lover.

Remus shook his head slightly, grinning at Severus.  "He'll like you, because I'll tell him you've already met Lily, and she likes you.  Don't worry about James."  After a moment he reached up to stroke his thumb briefly down Severus' cheek.

I don't want him to like me, Severus thought irritably, but only smiled, pleased that Remus was voluntarily touching him.

"God, I love you," Remus breathed, staring up at not-Severus.  It was strange to be saying that to an unfamiliar face, but he liked that Severus seemed to smile more easily when he was pretending to be someone else.

"Can I kiss you?" Severus asked quietly.

Remus stared at him a moment longer, then nodded, feeling another wave of shyness wash over him.  Merlin!  What was wrong with him?  It was Severus inside that body, no matter what he looked like!

Severus leaned in and gave Remus a tender kiss, sliding his hand into Remus' hair.

For a moment Remus worried that Severus would destroy the precarious hairdo they'd created.  Then he decided he didn't bloody care, because Severus was kissing him, and pirate wenches probably didn't have tidy hair, anyway.  He parted his lips, inviting Severus in.

Oh, that was brilliant.  Severus took the invitation, exploring Remus' mouth with his tongue.  He wandlessly sent the cups floating to the ground and slid his other hand to the small of Remus' back.

God, it would be so easy to just ignore the party around them and lose himself in Severus.  Remus shivered at that touch and wound an arm around Severus' waist.  Despite his own desire, though, he eventually broke the kiss to look up at Severus.  He licked his lips and then lifted his free hand to wipe a thumb over Severus' lips, trying to get the lipstick off them.

"Hell," Severus muttered, but smirked.  "Forgot about that."

"So did I," Remus said, laughing.  "The look suits you, though."  He grinned at Severus.

"Mm, I just love kissing you," Severus murmured, letting his hand slide from Remus' hair.

"Yeah, me too," Remus said.  He was so glad Severus had come with him tonight.

"I suppose we should be doing something other than standing in the corner, though," Severus pointed out.  "Rather defeats the purpose."

"I suppose," Remus said.  He sighed and glanced around, just in time to see a confused-looking James headed towards them.  "Oh.  Well, perhaps the corner will be all right for now."

"Hm?"  Severus glanced in the direction Remus was, then had to school his expression neutral when he saw Potter headed their way.  He reminded himself that as far as Potter knew, they had never met before in their lives.

"Remus," James said when he arrived in their corner.  He was at least pitching his voice low enough that they shouldn't be overheard.  "Who's your friend?"

Remus did his best not to bristle at the question or the tone in which it was delivered.  "This is my boyfriend Tobias," he said, proud that his voice didn't waver.  "Tobias Prince, meet James Potter."

Severus smiled and James and stuck out his hand.  "Hi."

James didn't respond at first; he was too busy staring at Remus.  Finally he shook himself slightly and shook Severus' hand.  "Hi.  Call me James.  Um.  Did you say boyfriend?"

"Yeah, Remus and I have been together for about two months now," Severus said, putting his arm around Remus and smiling again.

That was unexpected.  Remus tried not to tense and smiled nervously at James.  "We met at the library," he explained, "and...well, we just hit it off."

James blinked.  "I...see."  He blinked some more.  "Did you meet my wife, Lily?"

Merlin, this was entirely too much fun.  "Yeah, I've met her before, actually," Severus said.  "She's very nice."

"I...erm, we, we had lunch with Lily a few weeks ago," Remus explained.  "When Lily invited me to the party.  She said to bring Tobias, too."  He made a face.  "She implied, actually, that I was afraid to."

"Afraid?  Moony?  Nonsense."  James glanced at him.  "Were you?"

Remus blinked.  "A bit.  I wasn't sure how you'd take it."

"I'm glad he wanted me to come, though," Severus said.  "I love fancy dress parties."

Remus glanced at him.  The liar.  He leaned into Severus, smiling up at him, then turning his smile on James.  "I really like Tobias.  I thought you should meet him."

James' expression turned guarded as he looked from Remus to his boyfriend and back.  "Remus, could I speak with you for a moment?"

Remus looked up at Severus.  "Excuse us just a moment?"

"Sure," Severus said with a casual shrug.  "I'll get us more drinks."  He picked up their cups and headed back to the kitchen.

"Remus, you've been dating this bloke for two months and you didn't tell us?"  James' expression was somewhere between concerned and hurt.

"Look, I love you lot, but I wasn't going to tell you until I was ready," Remus said, folding his arms across his chest.  The gesture reminded him that he was wearing a bloody corset.  "I had to have things sorted out in my mind first, you know."

"Yeah, but--I mean, how well do you know this bloke?"

"Well enough," Remus said.  "I didn't just take him home with me one night and start telling him Order secrets, you know.  And if it makes you feel any better, Dumbledore knows about him.  I just...wasn't ready to tell you lot yet."

James frowned.  "You shouldn't ever have to keep any secrets from us.  We're your friends, Moony."

"Yeah, but you're busy, and I wanted to be sure I'm really gay before I said anything to you."  Remus shrugged.  "Lily seems to like him."

"Well, he looks nice enough," James allowed, "but I hope you're being careful."

"I'm always careful," Remus said, which was almost the truth.  He chuckled.

A burst of laughter came from the kitchen, and a moment later, Severus came out with his borrowed grin in place, carrying two cups.  He approached Remus and Potter slowly in case they weren't finished, returning a random passer's greeting.

James blinked.  "Is Sirius in there?"

"Yeah, Tobias and Sirius met a minute ago," Remus said.  "We wanted drinks."  He smiled at Severus.

"I was just telling my joke about the Catholic nun and the Devil's Snare," Severus supplied, handing a cup to Remus.  "Sirius seems like a great guy," he told James, and was amazed at how sincere he managed to sound while saying that one.

Remus laughed as if he knew the joke and took a drink.  Merlin, if this was any indication of how good Severus was at spying...well, he was impressed.  "I'm glad you like him," he said.

"Yeah, if you have a joke Sirius hasn't heard," James agreed, smiling.  "So what is it you do, Tobias?"

"Herbologist," Severus said, thinking quickly.  "Usually I get called in to consult different places.  Got a job right now at a nursery near London whose Mandragora have all caught cold.  Nasty business, trying to get drops of potion down a greenhouse full's screaming, snotty adolescent Mandrakes throats."  He grinned.

"Merlin, that sounds like hell," James agreed, though he grinned back.  "Were you at Hogwarts?  I don't remember seeing you there ever."

"No, state school for me," Severus said, shrugging.  "Parents didn't want me far from home."

James raised his eyebrows, but shrugged too.  "I suppose Sirius has already threatened you, so there's no point in my repeating it," he said.  "If Lily approves, you're all right by me."  He grinned.  "You know how it goes; she makes all the decisions and I just pretend to be in charge."

Severus laughed.  "I'll take your word for it."  He smiled at Remus.  "I don't even bother pretending, myself.  Remus knows he's in charge, don't you?"

Remus snorted, but looked at Severus affectionately.  "You let me think so, anyway," he said, grinning.  He smiled at James.  "Of course, he makes me cook all the time, even if he pretends I'm in charge."

James laughed.  "Ah, but according to Lily, the person who cooks controls everything," he retorted.  "Men are ruled by their stomachs, she says."

"Certainly true in my case," Severus said.  "Remus is a brilliant cook.  I can't even do toast without cocking it up."

"Killed my toaster when he tried," Remus agreed.  "But he's good at brewing tea, anyway," he said fondly.  He grinned at Severus and kissed him lightly.  "And he laughs at my jokes," he said.  "That right there makes him worth keeping."

James chortled.  "You know, I laugh at Lily's jokes far more often than she laughs at mine.  I think you're right, Moony, he is worth keeping."  He grinned at Severus.

"Hey, thanks mate, you're all right," Severus said, laughing.  He tried a beam on for size and aimed it at Remus, then took a sip of his drink.

God, that nearly melted Remus, even if it wasn't Severus' face that was beaming at him.  Remus leaned against him slightly and smiled back, feeling his heart lurch in his chest.  "I think I will keep him," he told James, though he was looking at Severus.  A small part of him couldn't help but be amused that James liked Severus so much when Severus was being Tobias.  He wondered if it would work on Sirius, once Sirius had had time to process Remus' being gay.  He took a sip of his drink.

"I hope you have a good time tonight," James said.  "I think my wife is signalling to me that my presence is required.  Probably time to put the sprog to bed, I think."  He beamed back at Severus.  "Did you meet my son Harry?"

"Oh yes," Severus confirmed with a smile.  "Looks just like his mother."

Remus snickered, but James beamed.  "Doesn't he?  Those eyes, Merlin!  He'll be just as smart as she is, I'd lay Galleons on it!"

"Well, let's hope so," Remus said, "because Lily's much cleverer than you are, James."

James beamed for another moment, then said, "Oi!"

Severus laughed, and that one he didn't have to work at.  "Never mind, I'm sure you passed something down to him."

Remus snickered.  "Quidditch skills, hopefully," he said.  "And hopefully not his sense of recklessness," he added, glancing up at Severus.  "You should ask Sirius some time about James and Sirius' night in the Forbidden Forest under James' Invisibility Cloak."

Severus arched an eyebrow in interest at James.  "I've only heard stories from Remus about the Forbidden Forest, but from what I have heard, that must have been an adventure."

James laughed.  "Yes, but Sirius tells the story better than I do.  Particularly since it involves my own stupidity and bravado, and I never own up to that when I tell the story."

Remus grinned.  "We'll get Sirius to tell it.  Lily looks impatient," he said, glancing over at her.

"Right, right!"  James clapped Severus on the shoulder.  "Good to meet you, mate!  I'll find you two before the party's over."

"Yeah, you too," Severus said, nodding to James.  "Later."

Remus relaxed against Severus' side as James moved away.  "That went well," he murmured, and tilted his head to kiss Severus' jaw.  "Well done."

"Yeah," Severus admitted, though he was glad when James was gone and he could stop acting so interested in things.  He slipped an arm around Remus' waist again, watching the people at the party, and let his hand wander south towards Remus' bum.  It was that corset, he decided, and the skirt (the hint of easy access just out of reach).  And Remus' bare shoulders, too, and his collarbone, his neck, his make-up...all right, it was the entire outfit, though Severus had never expected to be so enthralled by Remus in girls' clothes.

He turned his head to murmur quietly into Remus' ear, "So, is this costume entirely authentic, then?  Have you got some frilly knickers on under that skirt?"

Remus looked up at him, an expression of pretend shock on his face, but he nodded, feeling a glimmer of mischief.  It wasn't nice to tease Severus when they really had to do more than just putting in an appearance here.  But if Severus was going to grope his arse like this, he deserved it.

"Oh my God," Severus murmured instantly enthralled and dying to know what that looked like.

"Oi, you two, get a room," ordered Sirius' jocular voice from behind Severus.  Remus snorted and lifted his face to Severus, hoping Severus would kiss him just to spite Sirius.

Severus was instantly in character, smirking mischievously as he glanced back at Sirius, then turned and grabbed Remus' face between his hands to give him a deep kiss.

Remus made a surprised noise, because he hadn't actually expected Severus to do it.  All the same, he got his arms around Severus' neck and slipped him some tongue before pulling away and looking rather flustered.

Severus grinned at him, patting down his hair.  He glanced back to Sirius to see how Black had taken that.

Sirius' eyebrows were up so far they were hidden by his fringe, but he looked impressed.  "Wow, you've got Moony acting like a proper tart," he remarked, folding his arms across his chest and smirking at him.  "You know, Moony, I think I like this bloke."

Remus glanced at Severus, wondering what he would have to say about that.  "Good," he said faintly.

Severus wondered if 'Tobias' knew that Remus was a werewolf.  After two months, he imagined not, but Remus had muttered something about a 'childhood nickname', so he decided he could let it go.  He forced himself to smile at Black, though he was completely disgusted by the fact that Black liked this thrown-together persona.  Of course, he was borrowing on Black's own prattishness for inspiration.

He chuckled at Remus' sudden overwhelmed manner.  "Turns out it really is the quiet ones," he quipped, drinking from his much-neglected cup.

Remus' eyes widened, then he turned his gaze down and smoothed his skirts, because he didn't think he could actually blush on demand.  Sirius chortled and clapped Severus on the shoulder.  "Good on you, mate," he said.  "So.  Herbology, hmm?  Ever heard of a Muggle plant called marijuana?"  He waggled his eyebrows.

"Heard of it?  I spent my last year at school trying to convince my professor to work it into our NEWT curriculum," Severus joked.  "Anyone who's smoked can tell you it's got plenty of magical properties."

Remus groaned as Sirius laughed and bounced on the balls of his feet.  "Magical properties, indeed!  Especially if you listen to things like Banshee Scream or The Tattered Thestrals when you're smoking it."

Severus laughed and nodded.  "And Siren Horntail Fire.  I'm pretty sure all their songs have been written while they were caned."

Sirius barked a laugh and threw an arm around Severus' shoulders.  Remus shied backwards to avoid getting smacked.  "Mate, you and I are going to be friends," he said.  He lowered his voice.  "Now, you should know, I have some primo cut I got off a bloke I know.  I don't share with just anyone, but seeing as you're a Herbologist, and Moony's bloke, I reckon you get special treatment..."

Remus stared at them, then tugged at Severus' arm.  "Oh, oh no, you are not getting stoned with Sirius."

Severus glanced down at Remus, his grin fading a bit.  "Aw, c'mon Remus, why not?"

Remus stared at him.  "Why not?  Tobias."

Severus sighed and glanced back to Sirius regretfully.  "Sorry, mate.  Looks like I'd better not."

Sirius raised his eyebrows again.  "Blimey, he's already got you on a short leash, hasn't he?" he remarked.  "You're no fun, Moony."

Remus glared at him.  "You are Harry's godfather, and you're bringing pot to Lily's Halloween party?  She'll bloody kill you."

Sirius blanched.  "Well, there is that," he hedged.  He glanced at Severus, then back to Remus.  "Well, you know.  She never comes out to the back garden during a party, though.  I've snogged loads of girls back there."  His voice took on a wheedling tone.  "Come on, Moony, I haven't done it in ages.  You could distract her!"

"What?  Secluded back garden?  I think I'm rather interested in that," Severus said, waggling his eyebrows at Remus.

"You won't be so interested when you realise I'm meant to stay in here and keep Lily occupied while you two smoke," Remus said dryly.  He shot Sirius a dirty look.

"Well, I'm sure she'd love to talk to you," Severus said innocently.

"I will make you sleep on the sofa," Remus muttered, though not loudly enough that Sirius could hear it over the music.

Severus sighed.  "I'm getting the death glare."

Sirius made puppy eyes at Remus.  "Come on, Moony!  Just for a little while.  Or better yet we could arrange it so Peter distracts Lily and you could come join us!"

Remus rolled his eyes.  "You are an idiot," he told Sirius, and looked at Severus.  "Go on, then, if you want to get to know Sirius better.  I'm sure he'll have loads of stories about me for your entertainment."  He gave Severus a look, but he kissed him briefly.  "Go on, if you want."

Oh Merlin, he didn't really want to get to know Sirius better, did he?  The prat was so obnoxious.  But part of him was morbidly curious to get Black alone, to get a glimpse of the inner prat, as it were.  It would be a perfect opportunity to get the dirt on him.  And he wanted to hear these stories about Remus.  But he was going to have to keep on pretending not to hate him, which was rather physically painful.  Only now it would look odd if 'Tobias' changed his mind.  He'd been counting on Remus not to back down.  One soppy look from Sirius and Remus backed down?  That was not on.

"Thanks, Remus," Severus said, smiling gratefully, though he really wanted to scowl.  "Need a slash, and then I'll be out," he told Sirius.  He figured he'd take his next dose of Polyjuice now, so he didn't have to worry about having to excuse himself later.

Remus shook his head fondly as Severus walked away, then turned severely on Sirius.  "Right.  If you get him so high he can't see me home and make this bloody corset worth my while, I'm going to kill you."

Sirius perked up.  "You're wearing a corset?" he asked.

Remus raised an eyebrow.  "What, exactly, did you think I'd done, grown myself bosoms?" he asked tartly.  "Of course it's a corset.  And I wore it so I'd look good with his pirate costume.  So do not get him utterly rat-arsed and then make me stumble home with him.  Understood?"

Sirius threw him a mock salute.  "Aye-aye, Moony.  I'll behave.  Only one and we'll--ah, ah, Lily!  How are you?  You're looking lovely tonight!"  He blew her a kiss and said, "S'cuse me, need the loo!" and vanished.

"He's up to no good," Lily observed, her voice flat.

"As always," Remus agreed.  "Want me to hold Harry for a bit?"

Lily snorted.  "With that corset on, he'll expect to find a meal there, Remus," she remarked, handing him over.

Remus gave her an affronted look.

Severus forced down another dose of the potion and then found Sirius out in the back garden on the steps, hunched over his lap.  He approached casually and dropped down to lounge on the steps next to him.  "Saw Remus and Lily talking."

"He's distracting her," Sirius offered, his voice croaky.  "Good man, Remus."  He held out the joint.

"And looks excellent in a corset," Severus added, taking the spliff and inhaling deeply before handing it back.  He was suddenly thankful that his miscreant friends in Halifax had insisted he smoke with them on the odd occasion.  Though he wondered if he wasn't in over his head here.

"I cannot believe you got Remus in a corset," Sirius said.  "Then again, I can't quite believe he hasn't hexed you for snogging him in public."  He sniggered.

Severus chuckled, leaning his elbows back a couple of steps up.  "Well, it has taken me two months to get him to that point," he said.

"Still.  That's quite an accomplishment," Sirius said, staring up at the sky as he took another hit.  "How'd you two meet?  And how'd you know you're both queer?"  He exhaled.  "Sorry, that was a daft question.  But I mean, you know, how did you?"

Severus took a hit and held the smoke in his lungs for a few moments before exhaling and answering.  "Met at the library in Diagon.  He had the library's only copy of a book I was desperate to have, so I went over to convince him I needed it more than him.  He was sitting at a table with this gorgeous bird and totally ignoring her.  I figured either she was his sister, or he was gay.  So I went and chatted him up.  I thought he was really cute, but I didn't really consider him until I realised that he knew exactly what I was trying to do and wasn't having any of it.  He looks like he could be a bit of a pushover, but he's also got this inner strength."

He blinked, glancing at Sirius sideways as he handed the spliff back.  "That was probably a lot more than you wanted to know."

"Inner strength?" Sirius said, unable to keep the surprise from his voice.  "Well, yeah, I suppose he has.  I mean, he managed to keep me and James out of trouble sometimes.  Not often enough, though.  And sometimes he was out of order.  I mean, there was this one bloke, back at school, he just deserved a good hexing, and Remus took up for him a few times.  Never in public, mind, he was at least nice about that.  But still.  Some people just need to be hexed, you know?"  He shook his head, studying his fingers.  "Anyway, Remus is pretty much a pushover all the time.  The other day I found him down in Knockturn Alley, can you believe it?  He was...um, looking for a book, I think.  Anyway, got himself in trouble down Knockturn.  He's a bit of an absent-minded professor, our Moony."

Yes, some people did need to be hexed.  Severus was looking at one of the ones who needed it worst.

"Huh.  He lets me get away with some things, but I'd never call him a pushover."  Severus blinked.  "Apparently he's just more lenient with his mates."  Why was that, anyway?  Black bloody thought of Remus as a pushover, an absent-minded professor, and Severus never would have thought to call him that.  Especially when he was being bitten or fucked or shouted at.

"I heard about that day down Knockturn," Severus added disapprovingly.  "Glad you were there.  Why do you lot call him Moony, anyway?  Everyone's been calling him that tonight.  He said it was a childhood nickname, but I figure that's a bit of an odd one."

"Oh."  Sirius straightened.  "Oh, er.  You ought to ask him that story."  He laughed, though it was strained.  "All I'll say is that it has to do with Astronomy."  He took another hit and tilted his head back.  "Well, you know, I reckon he's known us for seven, eight...mm, nine years now.  Almost half our lives.  So he's bound to be more lenient with us."  He glanced at Severus.  "How long did it take for you to get him to agree to go out with you?"

Severus' eyebrow was arched at Sirius' odd response to his question, but he focused on Sirius' question in return, arching his brows as if it were a strange one.  "First time I asked."

"Really?"  Sirius eyed him.  "There, see, he's more lenient with you than you think.  We can never get him to do things without begging and pleading."

Severus laughed as he took the spliff from Sirius.  "I didn't say begging and pleading never went on," he corrected, smirking, then took a long drag.

"You like him that much?"  Sirius sprawled gracefully back against the steps, still watching Severus.  He didn't say he felt protective of Remus; the sudden sharpness of his gaze said that.

Severus nodded while he kept the smoke in his lungs, then finally answered after exhaling.  He kept his gaze on the sky.  "Yeah, I do.  He makes me happy."

Sirius relaxed a little, staring up at the sky again.  "We didn't know," he said presently.  "That he's queer.  He must've fancied blokes before, but you're the first one we've ever known about."

"Yeah, he said," Severus said.  "He was nervous about telling you, and I wasn't certain just showing up with me at a party was the best way to do it, but I'm glad he wanted me to meet everyone."

"Well, he'd better hope Wormtail--erm, Peter--doesn't see you two snogging," Sirius said.  "I don't think he'd take it well, honestly.  Hell, I mean, I'm still a bit shocked.  Does he--I mean, d'you two shag?"  Then Sirius slapped a hand over his eyes.  "I didn't just ask you that.  I didn't."

Severus thought that was rather a personal question to be answering, but he supposed someone like Black would have no problem going on and on about his sexual escapades.  "Oi, I think Remus would be rather upset with me if I even answered that question.  Can't imagine what he'd think knowing it was asked."  He grinned, finding it a bit funny.

Sirius snorted and took the spliff back.  "Too right."  He let his eyes close for a moment.  "You meet his dad yet?  Right piece of work, he is.  Merlin, I feel good."

"No, I don't think Remus is too keen to introduce us," Severus admitted, mentally echoing Sirius' sentiment.  The skunk had mellowed him quite pleasantly, though he wanted to melt into the stairs, which he had a feeling would not be as comfortable as it sounded.

"Well, you shouldn't care about that.  He's a right old bastard, t'be honest with you.  But if you ever tell Remus I said that, I'll hex you silly."

"Sounds like one.  Don't worry, mate, your secret is safe with me."

Sirius made a pleased sound.  "You're a real mate," he said, pleased.  "I reckon Moony did a good job when he picked you."

"Mm, thanks," Severus said, finding that he wished he had somewhere comfortable to sprawl.  "This is good skunk."

"Shite, Moony's going to kill me," Sirius groaned, letting his head fall back on the step.  "Ow.  You're not too high to snog him and that, are you?"

"Psht.  No.  I don't think."  Severus laughed.  "Just feel good, that's all."

Sirius sighed.  "Oh, good."  He shifted and sighed.  "Seems weird, Remus having a boyfriend.  He's so...well, bookish."

"So what, you thought he wanted to sleep with the books?" Severus asked, then sniggered.

Sirius burst out laughing.  "Oh, Merlin, now I'm going to have these--these thoughts of Remus wanking surrounded by books.  Thanks so much.  Berk."  He wiped a hand over his eyes.

Severus joined him in laughing.  "I don't mind that image at all."

Sirius snickered.  "Well, yeah, you wouldn't would you?  Merlin."  He drew in a long breath and let out a low whistle.  "I don't think I can move.  I haven't had anything like this in ages.  Remus was right, Lily doesn't like it.  I'm the baby's godfather, if you can believe that."

"Merlin, that's all it takes to get you passed out on the steps?"  Severus teased, getting unsteadily to his feet.  "Have fun watching the stars, mate, I'm going to go find my wench."

"Oho, look at the superior herbologist," Sirius said.  He giggled.  "Herbologist.  Herbologits.  Herbogits.  S'a funny word."

"You're a herbogit," Severus countered, sniggering his way back inside.

He passed a girl who gave him the eye, then grinned when he saw her friend shake her head and mouth 'No'.  He hoped Remus was in the same general area he'd left, or he didn't know how he was going to find his frilly knickered wench.

Remus sighed when he saw Severus come back inside.  "Oh, good, Sirius didn't kill him.  Though I suppose I ought to make sure he didn't murder Sirius."

Lily frowned as she took Harry back.  "Murder--Remus, that is Severus, isn't it?" she asked, her voice barely audible.

"Of course it is," Remus said.  "He's a potions expert, and I said I wasn't coming if he didn't.  Look, we're not having this conversation again."

"No, of course not," Lily said, looking unhappy.  "They've been smoking, haven't they?"

"Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies," Remus said, and lifted his skirts a few inches so he could cross the room to meet Severus.

Severus made a pleased noise when he found Remus, sliding an arm around his waist and beaming at him.  "Are you enjoying the party?"

"Mm.  I'm enjoying it more now," Remus said, wrinkling his nose at the scent that lingered on Severus' clothes.  "You didn't kill him, did you?"

"No, he's stargazing," Severus said.  "Can we go shag?"

Remus raised his eyebrows and grinned.  "Only if you dance with me first," he said, shifting against Severus and beginning to move to the beat.

"Mm, how familiar," Severus murmured, sliding his arms around Remus as he moved.

Remus smiled and leaned against Severus.  "Yes, isn't it?" he replied softly.

"Love dancing with you," Severus muttered quietly, following Remus' movements.  "You know," he added conspiratorially, "I get the distinct impression that your friends expect you to be...well, the girl in this relationship.  It might just be the costume," he added, joking, "but I didn't realise just how differently they see you to how I do.  Almost makes me want to show off your bite mark and the spectacular bruises."  He sniggered.

Remus snorted and lifted his face to kiss Severus' neck, wishing those words didn't bite as deeply as they did.  "I have to be careful," he said softly.  "They know what I am and don't mind, they like me anyway."  He clenched his teeth for a moment and closed his eyes.  "You're the only person in the world I don't have to pretend around.  You're the only person in the world who really loves me."

It made Severus angry, how Sirius and James saw Remus.  There was even something annoying in the way Lily seemed to think someone like 'Tobias' was not the right sort for Remus.  Remus was so fit and handsome, and Severus was convinced that Remus could have a 'Tobias' just as easily as he could have Severus.  Just because he'd ended up with an angry, greasy git didn't mean he couldn't do better if he wanted.

"Then I shall strive to be all you need," he mumbled, swaying as his mellow high brought a bit of dizziness as well.  He wasn't feeling too coordinated just now.

"You are all I need," Remus whispered, resting his head against Severus' shoulder.  "I love you so much."

Severus beamed at nothing, enjoying the way Remus rested his head on his shoulder.  "Love you too."

The song they were swaying to ended, and something faster and vaguely punk replaced it.  He grinned and nuzzled Remus' temple.

Remus smiled mischievously, feeling abruptly better.  "Now what does this remind me of?" he murmured, and slid one hand under Severus' jacket to tuck it into the back pocket of his trousers.

Severus made a pleased noise, nuzzling Remus again.  He realised, muzzily, that he'd mostly forgotten the party going on around them, and glanced up as he spoke.  "It reminds me of...Dumbledore and Moody."

"Huh?"  Remus pulled away slightly and stared at him, confused.  "Merlin, you really are high."

Severus glanced down at Remus, feeling a wave of paranoia.  "No," he muttered, urgency in his voice, "I mean Dumbledore and Moody just walked in.  Oh Merlin.  Crap crap.  I can't freak out, I don't know them!" he whispered furiously, clinging to Remus.

Remus stared at him.  "No, and you can't dance with me, either, or else Dumbledore is going to think I'm cheating on you," Remus said, frowning and pulling away from him.  "Fuck," he muttered.

"You told Potter he knew about us," Severus hissed, shaking his head so his hair fell in his eyes, momentarily forgetting that it didn't matter if Dumbledore got a good look at him or not.

He was currently of the mistaken mindset that if he didn't look at Dumbledore and Moody, they couldn't see him, anyway.  And Moody's magical eye - what if it could see through Polyjuice?  "I think I need the loo!"

"Yes, good," Remus said, "go to the loo."  He sighed and straightened up.  "How's my lipstick?"

"You need to reapply," Severus told him, then took off for the toilet when he saw Dumbledore and Moody move further inside, greeting people.

"Fuck," Remus muttered, ducking into the passage to find a mirror and redo the charm.  He returned to the main room in time to see Lily speaking with Dumbledore.  He wondered if he could get to the Headmaster before James.  Sirius, thank God, was still out in the back garden.  He glanced around, then made his way towards Dumbledore.

"Remus!  How nice to see you.  And may I say that is a lovely costume."  Dumbledore smiled easily, looking incongruous in Bermuda shorts and a brightly-flowered t-shirt.  He had a stripe of white ointment down his nose and half-moon sunglasses perched on his crooked nose.

"Er, thank you, sir.  And you are...erm, a lifeguard?"

"A surfer, my dear boy!"  Dumbledore beamed at him, acknowledging the applause from the other party-goers.  Moody, standing behind him with his arms folded across his chest, merely looked grumpy.

"At least you didn't dress up impersonating an officer of the law," he grunted, though it was somehow loud enough for everyone, including said impersonator, to hear (and flinch).

"Remus, I wondered if I might borrow a moment of your time," Dumbledore said.  "You could show me to the refreshments."

Remus gave Lily a weak smile and nodded.  "Of course, sir.  This way."  He led the Headmaster into the kitchen, where a punchbowl had most certainly been spiked.  Dumbledore poured himself a cup and looked at Remus, all twinkle gone from his eyes.

"I hope, Remus, that you have been so abysmally foolish as to bring your mate to this party under the influence of Polyjuice Potion."

Oh fuck, he had seen them.  Remus sighed.  "Yes, sir.  He's going by the name Tobias Prince, and I told James that you knew about him.  He's a herbologist, working in London."

Dumbledore's eyes snapped.  "It was a ridiculous, foolish, risky idea, Remus, and I am deeply disappointed.  What on Earth possessed you to bring him here, among your friends?"

"What am I supposed to do?" Remus demanded, pitching his voice as low as Dumbledore's.  "Keep him hidden away all our lives?  Have my friends continue to push women at me when I've no interest in anyone else, particularly a woman?  Deny him the chance to be with me when I spend time convincing my friends I have no secrets from them?"

Dumbledore ignored the questions.  "I am astonished that Tobias agreed to this ridiculous sham."

The door to the back garden in the kitchen suddenly opened, laughter filtering in.  "Oh Merlin, that is brilliant," Sirius exclaimed, bursting in on the balls of his feet.

Severus followed him in, grinning toothily.  "I know!  No one could believe it."

Sirius halted, still grinning himself, and eyed Dumbledore up and down.  "Male hula dancer," he guessed, then sniggered with far more zest than such a lame guess warranted, amused by himself.

Severus (who had stopped too, and had suffered a mild stroke in the few seconds it took for Black to say something stupid), snorted, shaking his head.  "He hasn't got a thing. A grass skirt."

Remus stared at them both.  "Tobias, you remember my telling you about Dumbledore," he said.  "Albus Dumbledore, Tobias Prince."

Dumbledore surveyed them both.  "I'm pleased to meet you finally, Tobias," he said, holding out a hand.  He glanced at Sirius.  "You might wish to hide from Lily, considering the state you're in," he observed mildly.  When he shook Severus' hand, his grip was very tight.

Severus smiled at Dumbledore and didn't meet his gaze, shaking his hand and just keeping a wince out of his expression.  "Yes, likewise, I've heard such good things about you," Severus just managed before he and Sirius dissolved into giggles, and what about that called for such a reaction not even they seemed to know.

Remus widened his eyes and trod on Severus' foot.  "I'm afraid he's been spending too much time with Sirius, sir," he said.  "They've become fast friends in such a short time."  He wasn't sure how he managed to keep the bite out of his voice.

Sirius was laughing silently against Severus' shoulder, and glanced at Remus, waving an arm at him.  "Moony, Moony," he called urgently.  "Your bloke is hilarious.  I never knew Herbologist could be such an interesting profession," he said, giggling again.

Severus was grinning, but he'd calmed a bit, and was steadying Sirius with one hand, wondering if the idiot had some latent homosexuality himself as he gazed vaguely at Dumbledore and Remus, wondering if he was about to be killed.

"Ah," Dumbledore said, watching the two of them.  "So I see.  I would love to spend a few minutes getting to know you myself, Tobias.  If you can spare them."

Severus shrugged, smiling easily.  "Sure, I guess," he said, making sure to seem friendly but wondering what Dumbledore could want.  Inwardly, of course, he just wanted to run away very fast.  "Someone else will have to keep Sirius from falling over though," he added, which made Sirius laugh again.

Remus snorted and propped his shoulder under Sirius' arm.  "Go on," he said, torn between amusement and gratitude that Dumbledore had shifted his focus to Severus.

Oh Merlin, Dumbledore was going to drag him into a spare room and murder him there.  Severus was so bloody dead.

"Thanks," he said, risking a peck on Remus' cheek just in case he was on his way to his own funeral, then happily followed Dumbledore.

Sirius sniggered.  "Tobias really fancies you, Moony," he murmured, leaning his head against Remus'.  "Fancies you madly.  Badly.  Baldly."

Remus eyed him.  "You're insufferable," he remarked, his voice more affectionate than anything.

Dumbledore let Severus into an empty room and, once Severus was inside, closed the door.  "I am surprised at you, Severus," he murmured softly.

"Mmm, that I know how to laugh and tell jokes?  I know, it's shocking," Severus replied flippantly, leaning against the wall.

Dumbledore folded his arms across his chest.  "That you would go along with an idea like this.  I do hope I'm not wrong in thinking it was Remus' idea; his are usually far less cunning than yours."

Severus sniggered.  "I didn't want to, but Remus refused to go without me, and I thought that was a stupid reason not to go to his friends' Hallowe'en party.  I was fairly certain they would not understand his refusal to go, you see.  I thought it would be worse if he didn't go, but no amount of arguing on my part could convince him to see that.  Actually, he just wanted me to wear a mask," he admitted.  "I thought that was far stupider than Polyjuice."

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows.  "And how is Remus going to explain the sudden absence of Tobias Prince in his life, once the party is over?" he asked.  "Or is this a charade you intend to continue indefinitely?"

"I don't know, why are you asking me?" Severus asked, scowling in a way the Greek boy hadn't all evening.  "Ask Remus.  It was what he wanted."

"Yes, well, how do you feel about it?" Dumbledore pressed, then sighed.  "I always seem to anger you, Tobias.  It saddens me, for I do truly wish for you to be happy, and particularly for the two of you to be happy together.  Yet I cannot help but think..."  He trailed off.  "Ah, well.  What's done is done."  His gaze turned shrewd.  "And how do you find James Potter and Sirius Black, when you are being Tobias Prince?"

Severus wondered what Dumbledore had stopped himself from saying there, but he was irritated enough not to bother trying to ask.  He knew Dumbledore was full of shite, anyway.  His eyes narrowed.  "I know what you're not saying, you know.  You want me to think you like me, but I know the truth.  You don't want me near them.  You don't even want me near Remus, but you don't think there's anything you can do about that, now.  Not blatantly, anyway, but I know what you want.  You think I'm pure poison.  You're wondering what manner of damage I've already managed to inflict by getting this close to Potter and Black."

Dumbledore's eyebrows both rose.  "I think nothing of the sort, Tobias.  I have never seen Remus so sure of himself, so happy.  I dislike the circumstances surrounding your relationship, but regardless of what you believe, I am glad to see him happy--to see both of you happy, I think."  He looked questioningly at Severus.

Severus rolled his eyebrows.  "Bollocks."  He eyed Dumbledore.  "Anything else?"

"Oh, so you aren't happy with Remus?"

"That was what I thought of your supposed desire to see us happy," Severus countered, irritated.  He arched an eyebrow.  "Anything else?"

Dumbledore sighed.  "Be careful, Tobias," he said, placing a hand lightly on his shoulder.  "The last thing I want is for you to get hurt."

"Yeah, because you need me," Severus said, shrugging Dumbledore's hand off.  "Pleasure to meet you," he added sarcastically.

The Headmaster frowned at him.  "So cynical, so young," he said.  "I wish I could earn your friendship, Tobias."

Severus just rolled his eyes and sighed.

"I suppose I shouldn't keep you too long," Dumbledore said after a short silence.  "It was, as always, a pleasure."

"Right, I always enjoy a good lecture," Severus agreed sarcastically, leaving the room.

"No," Remus said, looking patiently at Sirius, "I am not going to tell you anything about my sex life.  It isn't your business."

"But Moony!" Sirius whinged, making puppy eyes at him.

"You look like you're about to start wagging your tail, Padfoot," Remus said, his voice tolerantly amused.  "I said no, and I mean it.  That is between me and Tobias."

"What's between you and me?" Severus asked lightly, re-entering the kitchen with a friendly grin.

Remus stood up, leaving Sirius slumped against the cabinet.  "Our sex life," he said, and then contrived to look rather embarrassed.  "Er."

"What?" Severus asked, laughing.  He glanced at Black.  Definitely bisexual, at the very least.

Shrugging, Remus said, "Well.  He wanted to know if we had.  And I said it wasn't his business."  He gave Severus a mock-severe look.  "And it isn't his business," he repeated.

"I know that," Severus assured Remus, putting his arms around him.  "I told him the same thing."

"Good."  Remus leaned lightly against Severus, smiling at him.  "I think perhaps I should Apparate home with you," he said.  "To make certain you don't Splinch yourself in the process."

"Probably," Severus agreed, nosing Remus' hair.

Remus snickered and poked Sirius in the ankle with his toe.  "See you later, Sirius," he said, and decided they would be better off Disapparating from here, rather than being polite and saying goodbye to Lily and James.  They would understand, anyway, he thought.  He wrapped his arms around Severus' waist and looked up at him.  "Ready?"

They Disapparated with a pop and moments later were home, in their bedroom, because he thought any other room would be useless just now.

*

On to Part Two