Another week...
Ugh hey everybody.. Still feeling sorry for myself, but drowning it out with large quantities of alcohol and partying. I don't get it, his friends don't get it, I want him back NOW.. I waited a week before I got a hold of him again.. So I texted messaged him, something I've never done before cause I don't have a cell phone. We'll see what happens, I guess Bryan told him to call me when he called last week... THe days keep feeling further and further away.. I still have his As I Lay Dying Cd, his Johnny Cash CD, and his super nintendo with all his games.. He has my sunglasses and jacket and other stuff.. God I miss that fucker so bad.. I wish he would call me.. I'm seriously counting down the days until he comes back it sounds bitchy but it's not like this hasn't happened before... And I guess it's with this mindset, counting down the days, that I'm growing more and more impatient. I'm the one he needs.. GOD!!! I sound so crazy.. Thank God Jessica has been calling so frequently.. I feel like such a bother around Adam and Carlin but they swear I'm not.. So who knows.. LAst night was pretty fun, went to the battle of the hamm's.. Some girl in a prom dress got kicked in the face by the lead singer of Dude Bazooka(who one).. I missed that.. I was already wasted when I got there (had 2 40's) then I saw Nate and started bawling.. haha.. Yeah I don't know.. He calmed me down, and bought me beer which was bad.. Then this guy Ben I've known for a couple of weeks and I split the price of a pitcher.. So yeah needless to say I was super wasted.. Saw Chris my former neighbor that was fun.. It's weird how many ppl know i'm single.. Ryknow and Therese did, and I never even speak to them. I hate being single, and it's not just be single it's about missing the one I was with... I'm so sad.. I guess I told Ben I'd cook him food or something, and he's all asking me if that offer still stands.. And I don't even remember saying that.. So yeah he gave me his number.. Unfortuntely, I just want to be friends.. I'm not looking to date anyone.. I do get flirty when I'm drunk, but that's just what happens there's no thought behind it. Another sleepless night, tossing and turning thinking of HIM. Well I graduate on Friday.. Everyone will be here, cross your fingers for me that my dad will get me a car!! Bye lovelies!!! Oh, and happy mother's day!!!
<3 <3 <3 ME
<3 <3 <3 ME