Hot Fuzz recs
Hot Fuzz is one of my happy-making small fandoms. I just ADORE it. If you haven't seen the movie yet, you SO should! Then you can join me in squee and giggles! :)
Bend Hard by basingstoke
Nicholas/Danny, PG, 1200 words, humour, hurt/comfort, first time, high!Danny. Summary: It's a modern action film.
"Ohh, ohh, bugger... ohhhh..."
Nick raised his head. "Take your morphine," he told Danny.
"But I'm hard... hard men don't need morphine..."
Nick stood up, leaned over Danny, and pressed the switch. "Nobody's that hard. Chuck Norris isn't that hard. Settle down, take your morphine, and sleep."
"But--" Danny's eyes were drooping already.
"This is the part where the hero shows his human, wounded side," Nick said.
"But you're the hero..."
Nick swallowed; he wasn't. And then Danny was out again.
Christmas Number One by annlarimer
Nicholas/Danny, PG, 1500 words, established relationship, humour. Summary: "Nicholas! Nicholas! It shows how to do flesh rotting off a skull. And oh my God, werewolf Nazis!"
"C'mon!" Danny turned the lights on.
"Gaah!" Nicholas threw an arm over his eyes. He was an early riser, but dear Jesus. "You fucker. Fine. All right."
"We got to have Christmas before we go to work." The bed creaked and bobbed as Danny got up.
The rest of the squad had family in Sandford, so it only seemed fair that Nicholas and Danny take Christmas day shift. They could annoy one another at the station as easily as at home, and the quiet would make it easier for Nicholas to hack away at his end-of-year reports. This year's, thank God, weren't too difficult. "N/A - records destroyed in explosion" saved a lot of work. Though the report explaining the destruction of the previous reports kind of made up for it.
Two Weeks, And You're An All-Time Legend by minervacat
Gen, Nicholas, Danny, other characters, PG-13, 3500 words, humour. Summary: But it's nice to have the pub back, in the end.
Goatee surveyed the place, and of course he focused on Danny and myself. We were the only patrons not cowering under the tables, because Danny does not always act in his best self-interest when his safety is at stake, and because I have come to consider Sandford my home, and I resent the disturbance of the peace in my own home.
"You two drunk, or are you just stupid?" Goatee said.
"He's drunk," Danny said, jerking a thumb in my direction. "Real lightweight, he is. I'm just stupid, myself."
Goatee snorted, and Eye Patch let off a shot in Gerald's direction that ricocheted off a keg of lager with a very familiar ping. "Oi," Danny said, standing up and pointing a finger at Eye Patch. "You can shoot at the ceiling and we, as police officers, will wait patiently for an opportunity to disarm you in a non-violent fashion, but the first man who shoots my pint loses those rights."
"You think you're such a smart cop," Eye Patch sneered.
"That was an excellent speech," I said to Danny.
Magic by raedbard
Nicholas/Danny, R, 1500 words, first time. Summary: Danny sometimes wished Sandford wasn't a village, if only because that would mean they had a half-decent cinema.
Nicholas moans a bit when Danny says that, as if he knows it's wrong but it's so right anyway. Danny smirks a bit at that, since it obviously means that Nicholas is the girl. And then he smirks again, with a bit less enjoyment, at himself. Because this is just like before: so much better than anything in a film; the little grant of real life that he always wanted and never thought he'd get because he lived in Sandford. Little did he know.
The little fluttering noises coming from Nicholas's mouth as Danny runs his fingers up and down his neck, which is bared, open. As though Nicholas trusts him, completely. Which he does, Danny knows. And suddenly he feels lucky again, luckier than he has any right to be, and bends his head to kiss Nicholas's throat with gentle, awed kisses.
TAKE IT, DANNY BUTTERMAN, TAKE IT!!! by iamstillthemoon
Nicholas/Danny, PG-13, 424 words, established relationship, humour. Summary: VITAMINS. THEY ARE GOOD FOR YOU.
Nicholas Angel stood at his stove brewing tea, scratching himself through his boxers and humming an old song about life and love and other mysteries. Daniel Butterman lay naked in his bed, sleeping and recharging after a morning full of satisfying and fulfilling sexual activity. It was the start of a good day.
Nicholas went through the refrigerator and found the flaxseed oil bottle to still be quite full.
Occupational Hazards by argyleheir
Gen, Nicholas, Danny, PG, 1800 words, humour. Summary: A person can't live on Jaffa Cakes.
"So they're just going to let Jeremy Irons--"
"--Simon--"
"--this Simon chap drag them around by their noses for the rest of the film?" Angel asks, cracking open his sixth beer without tearing his eyes from the screen. Samuel L. Jackson's busy yapping into an oversized walkie-talkie as Willis guesstimates the weight of water. Irons chews scenery like it's foie gras mashed with diamonds, and then a building blows up.
The whole thing's not entirely lacking in charm.
"They're being blackmailed," Danny explains with exaggerated clarity. "Can't be helped."
"The point being?"
"It's all about dramatic tension. See, McClane killed Simon's brother in the first film, and Simon's consumed by ten years' worth of pent-up rage and shit. He's German! He's capable of anything."
The White Lights and the Blue by giddygeek
Nicholas/Danny, R, 7000 words, first time, crossover with Torchwood (very light). Summary: "Oh no, dear," she said, wringing her hands. "I suppose that must be where the spaceship landed."
Danny's round face was pale and relieved, his wig flattened to his head, his fake scar peeling off, blood trickling from a cut at his temple. "All right, did you see that?" he asked, hands on his hips, breathing hard. "Aliens. Aliens, Nicholas. I told you. This is Sandford. And next year we'll be having vampires, and the year after that we'll have a plague of locusts, and the year after that a robot army, and we'll still never have--"
Nicholas said his name again, in a new tone, "Danny," and took a step forward.
Danny reached out and pulled him in. "--done this. If I wait for you to make the first move, we'll be a hundred years old, discovering Atlantis at the bottom of the fountain before this ever happens, is all," he said, then he leaned closer and kissed Nicholas, just like that.
Film Studies by azarias
Nicholas/Danny, PG-13, 4400 words, first time, humour. Summary: Danny Butterman has a Plan, and god help the forces of darkness that may try to stop him.
It wasn't at all like a movie, when Danny decided to have a go at Nicholas. No, really have a go. You know. Like the scenes Julia Roberts never did show, even though her knockers were half the point of the plot. Maybe that was why it all went bollocks-up. Should've had a proper screenwriter look over the plan. Mrs. Reather from the primary school, maybe. She'd always told him his essays showed promise, but then marked him down 'cause they "lacked focus" and "attempted to wedge commas into places no young man has any business touching."
The Plan:
1.) run into Guy of Your Dreams while carrying out innocuous, work-related activity
2.) involve GOYD in activity, as by accidentally dropping something, allowing him to respond chivalrously to your flustered flapping about
3.) accept invitation to accompany GOYD to up-scale social event, to protect GOYD from society sharks who'll be flinging painful reminders of his most recent crashed relationship
4.) !!!!!!CAR CHASE!!!!!!
5.) meet GOYD's eyes meaningfully while orchestral music swells over the sounds of the gentle rainstorm you've both been caught out in
Bend Hard by basingstoke
Nicholas/Danny, PG, 1200 words, humour, hurt/comfort, first time, high!Danny. Summary: It's a modern action film.
"Ohh, ohh, bugger... ohhhh..."
Nick raised his head. "Take your morphine," he told Danny.
"But I'm hard... hard men don't need morphine..."
Nick stood up, leaned over Danny, and pressed the switch. "Nobody's that hard. Chuck Norris isn't that hard. Settle down, take your morphine, and sleep."
"But--" Danny's eyes were drooping already.
"This is the part where the hero shows his human, wounded side," Nick said.
"But you're the hero..."
Nick swallowed; he wasn't. And then Danny was out again.
Christmas Number One by annlarimer
Nicholas/Danny, PG, 1500 words, established relationship, humour. Summary: "Nicholas! Nicholas! It shows how to do flesh rotting off a skull. And oh my God, werewolf Nazis!"
"C'mon!" Danny turned the lights on.
"Gaah!" Nicholas threw an arm over his eyes. He was an early riser, but dear Jesus. "You fucker. Fine. All right."
"We got to have Christmas before we go to work." The bed creaked and bobbed as Danny got up.
The rest of the squad had family in Sandford, so it only seemed fair that Nicholas and Danny take Christmas day shift. They could annoy one another at the station as easily as at home, and the quiet would make it easier for Nicholas to hack away at his end-of-year reports. This year's, thank God, weren't too difficult. "N/A - records destroyed in explosion" saved a lot of work. Though the report explaining the destruction of the previous reports kind of made up for it.
Two Weeks, And You're An All-Time Legend by minervacat
Gen, Nicholas, Danny, other characters, PG-13, 3500 words, humour. Summary: But it's nice to have the pub back, in the end.
Goatee surveyed the place, and of course he focused on Danny and myself. We were the only patrons not cowering under the tables, because Danny does not always act in his best self-interest when his safety is at stake, and because I have come to consider Sandford my home, and I resent the disturbance of the peace in my own home.
"You two drunk, or are you just stupid?" Goatee said.
"He's drunk," Danny said, jerking a thumb in my direction. "Real lightweight, he is. I'm just stupid, myself."
Goatee snorted, and Eye Patch let off a shot in Gerald's direction that ricocheted off a keg of lager with a very familiar ping. "Oi," Danny said, standing up and pointing a finger at Eye Patch. "You can shoot at the ceiling and we, as police officers, will wait patiently for an opportunity to disarm you in a non-violent fashion, but the first man who shoots my pint loses those rights."
"You think you're such a smart cop," Eye Patch sneered.
"That was an excellent speech," I said to Danny.
Magic by raedbard
Nicholas/Danny, R, 1500 words, first time. Summary: Danny sometimes wished Sandford wasn't a village, if only because that would mean they had a half-decent cinema.
Nicholas moans a bit when Danny says that, as if he knows it's wrong but it's so right anyway. Danny smirks a bit at that, since it obviously means that Nicholas is the girl. And then he smirks again, with a bit less enjoyment, at himself. Because this is just like before: so much better than anything in a film; the little grant of real life that he always wanted and never thought he'd get because he lived in Sandford. Little did he know.
The little fluttering noises coming from Nicholas's mouth as Danny runs his fingers up and down his neck, which is bared, open. As though Nicholas trusts him, completely. Which he does, Danny knows. And suddenly he feels lucky again, luckier than he has any right to be, and bends his head to kiss Nicholas's throat with gentle, awed kisses.
TAKE IT, DANNY BUTTERMAN, TAKE IT!!! by iamstillthemoon
Nicholas/Danny, PG-13, 424 words, established relationship, humour. Summary: VITAMINS. THEY ARE GOOD FOR YOU.
Nicholas Angel stood at his stove brewing tea, scratching himself through his boxers and humming an old song about life and love and other mysteries. Daniel Butterman lay naked in his bed, sleeping and recharging after a morning full of satisfying and fulfilling sexual activity. It was the start of a good day.
Nicholas went through the refrigerator and found the flaxseed oil bottle to still be quite full.
Occupational Hazards by argyleheir
Gen, Nicholas, Danny, PG, 1800 words, humour. Summary: A person can't live on Jaffa Cakes.
"So they're just going to let Jeremy Irons--"
"--Simon--"
"--this Simon chap drag them around by their noses for the rest of the film?" Angel asks, cracking open his sixth beer without tearing his eyes from the screen. Samuel L. Jackson's busy yapping into an oversized walkie-talkie as Willis guesstimates the weight of water. Irons chews scenery like it's foie gras mashed with diamonds, and then a building blows up.
The whole thing's not entirely lacking in charm.
"They're being blackmailed," Danny explains with exaggerated clarity. "Can't be helped."
"The point being?"
"It's all about dramatic tension. See, McClane killed Simon's brother in the first film, and Simon's consumed by ten years' worth of pent-up rage and shit. He's German! He's capable of anything."
The White Lights and the Blue by giddygeek
Nicholas/Danny, R, 7000 words, first time, crossover with Torchwood (very light). Summary: "Oh no, dear," she said, wringing her hands. "I suppose that must be where the spaceship landed."
Danny's round face was pale and relieved, his wig flattened to his head, his fake scar peeling off, blood trickling from a cut at his temple. "All right, did you see that?" he asked, hands on his hips, breathing hard. "Aliens. Aliens, Nicholas. I told you. This is Sandford. And next year we'll be having vampires, and the year after that we'll have a plague of locusts, and the year after that a robot army, and we'll still never have--"
Nicholas said his name again, in a new tone, "Danny," and took a step forward.
Danny reached out and pulled him in. "--done this. If I wait for you to make the first move, we'll be a hundred years old, discovering Atlantis at the bottom of the fountain before this ever happens, is all," he said, then he leaned closer and kissed Nicholas, just like that.
Film Studies by azarias
Nicholas/Danny, PG-13, 4400 words, first time, humour. Summary: Danny Butterman has a Plan, and god help the forces of darkness that may try to stop him.
It wasn't at all like a movie, when Danny decided to have a go at Nicholas. No, really have a go. You know. Like the scenes Julia Roberts never did show, even though her knockers were half the point of the plot. Maybe that was why it all went bollocks-up. Should've had a proper screenwriter look over the plan. Mrs. Reather from the primary school, maybe. She'd always told him his essays showed promise, but then marked him down 'cause they "lacked focus" and "attempted to wedge commas into places no young man has any business touching."
The Plan:
1.) run into Guy of Your Dreams while carrying out innocuous, work-related activity
2.) involve GOYD in activity, as by accidentally dropping something, allowing him to respond chivalrously to your flustered flapping about
3.) accept invitation to accompany GOYD to up-scale social event, to protect GOYD from society sharks who'll be flinging painful reminders of his most recent crashed relationship
4.) !!!!!!CAR CHASE!!!!!!
5.) meet GOYD's eyes meaningfully while orchestral music swells over the sounds of the gentle rainstorm you've both been caught out in