I'd wanted to post this around the same time we were actually having our first cracksation, so... ♥
For me, it's always been about the little things.
And so, in a way, it makes sense -- that one single post on a journaling community and two single comments in reply could not only change your entire life but suddenly somehow give it meaning.
And I've always believed in red strings.
So it makes sense, too, that you could spend your entire life waiting to find someone, having been born with a connection to them and knowing, on some level, that they're there and that you were meant to find and for them. It makes sense that, once you do find them, you would instantly feel a sort of click, like the missing pieces of yourself finally falling into place; that you would rush to fill in the rest of that void, to make up for all the time lost.
It makes sense.
That doesn't make it any easier to wrap my head around.
To think that, two years ago today, I received a comment on my post in GreatestJournal's animeaddme community, and took just a few moments to reply back and to add a girl to my friends list; and that in the two years since, that girl has not only changed my life but became it, in and of herself. That in those two years, we have already crammed in a lifetime's worth of laughter and love and crack and hardships and determination and want, because we'd already had lifetimes in which to wait and build them.
To think that in only those two years, I found my best friend lost my best friend found her again found my fucking reason for existing fell head over fucking heels in love finally confessed now have the most wonderful girlfriend I could ever have asked for, and that in a month, I will finallyfinallyfinally be in her arms and in our home, with the rest of our life before us.
But that's okay. My head doesn't need to wrap around it.
My heart still knows it's the little things that are important.
Feeling your arms around me and your hand in mine for the very first time and every single time thereafter as I hear your voice in my ear. Waking up beside you in our bed and waking up smiling because I know I'm home. Waiting for you to come home and bouncing up to greet you at the door and get you right back next to me where you belong. Walking the streets of our new city together hand in hand, fingers lacing together as our feet keep stopping so that I can pull you in for impromptu pounces. Watching fireworks and fireflies and finding leafpiles to play in and listening to your profanity when you try and untangle the foliage from my hair. Watching the world from outside our window, because we've our own just inside.
I am so fucking in love with my girl and I want the whole fucking world to know it even though it's already so obvious it's probably more than a little nauseating oh well NOT OUR PROBLEM.
And I cannot fucking wait for the rest of our life to start.
Happy anniversary again, pekori. ♥
When it was done and you went to sleep, I lay awake and listened to the clock on your nightstand and the wind outside and understood that I was really home, that in bed with you was home, and something that had been getting close in the dark was suddenly gone. It could not stay. It had been banished. It knew how to come back, I was sure of that, but it could not stay, and I could really go to sleep. My heart cracked with gratitude. I think it was the first gratitude I've ever really known. I lay there beside you and the tears rolled down the sides of my face and onto the pillow. I loved you then and I loved you now and I have loved you every second in between. I don't care if you understand me. Understanding is vastly overrated, but nobody ever gets enough safety. I've never forgotten how safe I felt with that thing gone out of the darkness.
~Lisey's Story
And so, in a way, it makes sense -- that one single post on a journaling community and two single comments in reply could not only change your entire life but suddenly somehow give it meaning.
And I've always believed in red strings.
So it makes sense, too, that you could spend your entire life waiting to find someone, having been born with a connection to them and knowing, on some level, that they're there and that you were meant to find and for them. It makes sense that, once you do find them, you would instantly feel a sort of click, like the missing pieces of yourself finally falling into place; that you would rush to fill in the rest of that void, to make up for all the time lost.
It makes sense.
That doesn't make it any easier to wrap my head around.
To think that, two years ago today, I received a comment on my post in GreatestJournal's animeaddme community, and took just a few moments to reply back and to add a girl to my friends list; and that in the two years since, that girl has not only changed my life but became it, in and of herself. That in those two years, we have already crammed in a lifetime's worth of laughter and love and crack and hardships and determination and want, because we'd already had lifetimes in which to wait and build them.
To think that in only those two years, I found my best friend lost my best friend found her again found my fucking reason for existing fell head over fucking heels in love finally confessed now have the most wonderful girlfriend I could ever have asked for, and that in a month, I will finallyfinallyfinally be in her arms and in our home, with the rest of our life before us.
But that's okay. My head doesn't need to wrap around it.
My heart still knows it's the little things that are important.
Feeling your arms around me and your hand in mine for the very first time and every single time thereafter as I hear your voice in my ear. Waking up beside you in our bed and waking up smiling because I know I'm home. Waiting for you to come home and bouncing up to greet you at the door and get you right back next to me where you belong. Walking the streets of our new city together hand in hand, fingers lacing together as our feet keep stopping so that I can pull you in for impromptu pounces. Watching fireworks and fireflies and finding leafpiles to play in and listening to your profanity when you try and untangle the foliage from my hair. Watching the world from outside our window, because we've our own just inside.
I am so fucking in love with my girl and I want the whole fucking world to know it even though it's already so obvious it's probably more than a little nauseating oh well NOT OUR PROBLEM.
And I cannot fucking wait for the rest of our life to start.
Happy anniversary again, pekori. ♥
When it was done and you went to sleep, I lay awake and listened to the clock on your nightstand and the wind outside and understood that I was really home, that in bed with you was home, and something that had been getting close in the dark was suddenly gone. It could not stay. It had been banished. It knew how to come back, I was sure of that, but it could not stay, and I could really go to sleep. My heart cracked with gratitude. I think it was the first gratitude I've ever really known. I lay there beside you and the tears rolled down the sides of my face and onto the pillow. I loved you then and I loved you now and I have loved you every second in between. I don't care if you understand me. Understanding is vastly overrated, but nobody ever gets enough safety. I've never forgotten how safe I felt with that thing gone out of the darkness.
~Lisey's Story