just so you know, ray bradbury's going to live forever
I'm sitting here enmeshed in what my life is shortly going to become and feeling it to the absolute capacity. I am tuned in to the reality that i can not possibly image the full extent, that the near future is i can possibly overanalyse and predict. I'm very aware of the fact that i'm jumping into something head first that i am clueless about, and that i'm scared shitless. and i'm positively excited about it. but if i'm not clear and adament about what i need to accompany this venture, its going to be a hell of a crash.
damn, and to think that i just hit what up to now was the undisputable rock bottom of my life up to now. i know that my part of this can work, cause i all really have to do is be me. so it doesn't really matter that i'm quite aware that failure would be a spectacular crash and burn, it's just the reality. perhaps he doesn't realize that in all the potential change this shadow of destruction is part of staying genuine. how else am i to stay me if i don't acknowledge where i've been. and, well, the whole bipolar being a lifelong ride, that's just part of the equation.
so i know that i haven't been exactly clear about the last year. and that posting song lyrics and cryptic messages will probably confuse a number of people. at least i can say that i know about how many people may read this. but yeah, putting my life out in the world is going to be the focus from here on out to the end of this endevour, and the future beyond that isn't going to be in the picture.
cryptic again. pardon my endulgances while i can afford them. but i promise that i will be clear soon. probably more than i'd think.
final personal thought: in a few months the whole new years in lockdown psychiatric shit will be comparatively normal. i'll pleasantly look forward to that day.
damn, and to think that i just hit what up to now was the undisputable rock bottom of my life up to now. i know that my part of this can work, cause i all really have to do is be me. so it doesn't really matter that i'm quite aware that failure would be a spectacular crash and burn, it's just the reality. perhaps he doesn't realize that in all the potential change this shadow of destruction is part of staying genuine. how else am i to stay me if i don't acknowledge where i've been. and, well, the whole bipolar being a lifelong ride, that's just part of the equation.
so i know that i haven't been exactly clear about the last year. and that posting song lyrics and cryptic messages will probably confuse a number of people. at least i can say that i know about how many people may read this. but yeah, putting my life out in the world is going to be the focus from here on out to the end of this endevour, and the future beyond that isn't going to be in the picture.
cryptic again. pardon my endulgances while i can afford them. but i promise that i will be clear soon. probably more than i'd think.
final personal thought: in a few months the whole new years in lockdown psychiatric shit will be comparatively normal. i'll pleasantly look forward to that day.