FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF, LJ, FFFFFFFFFFF.
1. A song of mine was played on WRUW on Friday. I didn't even know the song was released anywhere until the rest of Bromide enlightened me. \o/?
2. Speaking of Bromide, we're gonna be up on about 20 music download/streaming sites soon-ish, including iTunes, Amazon, and last.fm. When I say "soon-ish," I mean anywhere from 2 weeks to 4 months. I dunno how fast some of these websites work. I'll probably be spamming you as I find us on more sites, 'cuz, yanno - self-promotion FTMFW.
3. My weekend was completely insane, and I pretty much feel like I didn't have a weekend. And now it's the week again, and I just want to collapse back into bed.
But the Cleveland Lottery League show was Saturday, and I was reminded of just how incredibly unique the LL is, how lucky I was to be a part of it (twice), and how fucking amazing it is. I keep trying to explain this to people and I don't think anyone will ever get it unless they're (1) really into music and have heard a wide variety of music to begin with, and (2) they actually see something like it happen, and CLEVELAND is the only place this happens.
Just... take 150 musicians, throw them in a bingo roller and toss them into all new bands, most of them made up of complete strangers. Those bands then have two months to come up with a band name and a ten minute set. You get all these musicians from different backgrounds and different training and different styles, and you wind up with some of the most amazing pieces. One band had a indie pop guitarist and a heavy metal vocalist. Another band had a soul vocalist and a dude on jazz/fusion-sounding vibraphone.
It's essentially taking different dishes of an extremely diverse music scene, throwing them all into a blender and then seeing what comes out. It's incredible, and I just wish I could explain it in a way that made people understood just how fucking AMAZING it is. GOD. I MAY GO ON AND RANT ABOUT THE POLICE MISTAKING DEAD BODIES FOR DEER AND SPORTS CURSES AND OUR SHITTY ECONOMY, BUT WE HAVE SOMETHING LIKE THE LOTTERY LEAGUE AND NO ONE ELSE DOES. Therefore, we win. <3
4. Okay, on to SPN 5.17. I started writing and uploading shit on Friday, but then LJ totally and completely flaked out of me after days of being flaky. D: Saturday was wiped out due to the Lottery League (which is pretty much an all day event - you wind up with 33 bands, dudes), and Sunday involved running all over NE Ohio. In other words, I've been slowly working on this over a course of four days, so it's probably more than a little disjointed.
Also, LJ Scrapbook is still being a bitch. Hopefully everything loads. Ugh, FU.
WE OPEN WITH CRAZY DRIVING FTW! \o/
... I enjoy it when they look straight at the camera.
What the FUCK is burning here? It seriously looks like a fake fire made out of cardboard caught on fire.
I AM HIGHLY AMUSED THAT THE DEMONS GO RUNNING ~TOWARDS~ THE HOLY WATER HOSE AND THEN JUST STAND THERE AND SCREAM.
I LOVE THEIR TRUNK OF DEMON HUNTING CRAP AND THRIFT STORE TRINKETS
AND IT SERIOUSLY LOOKS LIKE DEAN IS JUST WAITING FOR THEM TO BE IMPRESSED OR SOMETHING XD
AND I WOUND UP LOVING THIS GUY FOR SOME REASON. HE'S KINDA REALLY CUTE, OKAY
AND I LOVE THAT ORANGE TRAFFIC BARRELS ARE BEING USED AS PART OF THEIR BARRICADE XD
AND THAT THE SKY LOOKS LIKE THE SKY LOOKED IN 'THE END'
THERE HE IS AGAIN :D :D :D LOL, HE'S SO MUCH SHORTER THAN SAM THE JOLLY GREEN GIANT
I don't get why Dean is so shocked that a preacher is packing. Uh, remember Pastor Jim? Yet another dude who died on behalf of your family?
SAM'S FACE WHEN HE GETS "I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY MY NAME BOOOP BEEEP BOOOP BEEP BEEEEEP BOOOP'S" VOICEMAIL.
HELLOOOOO BARTENDER PAUL
Dean. "We're all gonna die. In like, a month. Maybe two." Oh, Dean. Broken, broken Dean. Dean's got absolutely no faith that anyone is going to be able to stop this.
SAMMY STILL BELIEVES IN THEMSELVES, THOUGH. \O/
This was the moment when I first started liking this guy. I don't pray, either, even when everyone else is. He knows something funky is going on already, plus he's not going to suddenly change his faith because the apocalypse is going down all around him.
And he's got a flask. In all honesty, maybe THIS is why I like this guy. Pack a flask to your gun-toting church, boy. <3
Have I mentioned that I LOVE THAT IT FINALLY FEELS LIKE IT'S THE FUCKING APOCALYPSE.
As much as I love watching Dean fighting and being all badass, when Sam is fighting it's just fucking AWESOME. He's just all limbs and "GRR" and gets slightly crazy-eyed.
I LOVE THIS FUCKING SEQUENCE WHERE SAM THROWS THE KNIFE
AND IT LANDS IN THIS DEMON
AND THEN DEAN GRABS IT
AND STICKS IT IN THIS DEMON
EVEN WHEN ONE WINCHESTER FEELS LIKE HE'S DEAD INSIDE AND THE OTHER WINCHESTER IS THE LAST ONE WITH ANY KIND OF HOPE THEY STILL CAN KICK SOME DEMON ASS. (+ BONUS PAUL)
Dude, Dean almost sounds like season 1 Dean when he says "you've saved my ass twice already, one more time you can drive." He's less growly.
DEAN SUPPORTS UNDERAGE DRINKING.
I didn't mention this last episode, but I am highly amused at the fact that they've been drinking so much fucking Schlitz lately. Schlitz is apparently their cheap beer of choice. I'm gonna laugh if I ever see him with some fucking Black Label or Genesse Cream Ale, for real.
D: D: D: THIS EPISODE KEEPS MAKING ME MAKE THIS FACE D: D: D:
GodDAMN, show. Everyone who is left in the care of the Winchesters winds up dead. (This is another reason why Cas and Bobby are so special. <3) But it's wearing down on an already incredibly worn Dean.
Leah is beautiful and extremely creepy at the same time.
Sam knows something's up with Dean, aside from the obvious. He's just getting more and more apathetic about everything. Go back to ep 14 (which is 15), and then last week, and now this: Dean just doesn't give a fuck anymore.
This scene between Leah and Dean is strange. Dean's asking her if she's "on the level" about paradise. I'm wondering if he's asking because he wants to find out what she thinks of it - if what "paradise" is what Castiel called it back at the end of S4, which Dean translated as being very "stepford." Is he trying to gauge what the rest of humanity thinks of that? I keep going back to Pamela's conversation with him last episode, and her poke into his resistance that Heaven isn't so bad.
Again: pretty, but CREEPY.
WHY DO I LIKE HIM SO MUCH? Maybe it's the "if I'm going to Hell, I'm going honest." He won't 'pretend' to be someone he's not.
Oh, SAAAAM. D: I keep thinking about 'Houses of the Holy' here, and how he believed way back then, because then he could think he was going to be saved, and now that he's basically got proof all he can do is rely on himself (and Dean). I'm proud of him, BUT ALSO SAD.
Sam's got every right to be irritated at what the town is doing, and he's venting, but he's got an ulterior motive for venting: HE WANTS DEAN TO REACT. He's trying to rile Dean up and IT'S NOT WORKING. D: (but he IS making quotey fingers XDDDD)
"What difference does it make?" Dean cares about EVERYTHING. He cares about shit he shouldn't be caring about. And now he's just flat and totally without hope.
"Stoning, poison kool aid." Oooh, reference to creepy Jim Jones. While I researching for the monster of a 5.04 fic, I did a fuck-ton of reading on cults and cult leaders in the past couple of months, and I kept going back to Jim Jones. Over 900 people died in a mass murder/suicide from drinking (or being forced to drink) cyanide-laced grape flavor aid. Single most deadly and dangerous cult leader in known history. (I know, everybody's heard of him. HIS STORY IS STILL CREEPY AND FASCINATING, THOUGH.)
Dean doesn't care that the people of the town put a curfew in place, and he doesn't care that he's breaking it, either. And all Sam can do is tell him that "it's past curfew," and then mumble it again after Dean walks out. What could Sam POSSIBLY say to make Dean give a shit about anything?
Okay, as sad and heartbreaking as this drunken version of Castiel is, I AM HIGHLY AMUSED BY HIM GOING STRAIGHT TO THE FRIDGE. WHEN HAS CASTIEL EVER PEEKED INSIDE THE WINCHESTERS' MOTEL FRIDGES?
Dean doesn't give a shit, and Castiel is just fucking IRRITATED AT EVERYTHING. "It was long, your message. And I find the sound of your voice grating." Sam's message couldn't have been longer than 7 seconds. For someone as OLD as Castiel is, 7 seconds isn't even a smidgen of a blink. And Sam is "his friend," and yet the sound of Sam's voice makes him even grumpier. D:
There's this little moment that I can't capture with still images, but when he first turns his head towards Sam his eyes do that 'trying to focus' thing that people often do when they're drunk. In other words, PROPS TO MISHA for adding in those little tiny nuances that give a bit more authenticity. Acting drunk isn't easy, and it's incredibly easy to turn it into bad acting. You've gotta do more than slur your words and stumble and make funny faces.
BUT STUMBLING AND MAKING FUNNY FACES NEVER HURTS XDDDDDDDDDDDDD
I'M SORRY BUT I'M JUST GOING TO SPAM YOU WITH AN OBSCENE AMOUNT OF DRUNK CAS FACE RIGHT NOW
OKAY, SO I HAD TO GO TO BAND PRACTICE LAST NIGHT INSTEAD OF WATCHING SPN, AND RIGHT AS WE WERE WRAPPING UP GRWAT TEXT MESSAGED ME WITH NOTHING BUT THAT LINE: "I FOUND A LIQUOR STORE AND I DRANK IT." AND I DON'T DOUBT THAT HE DID, KNOWING HIS TOLERANCE. HE TOTALLY DID DRINK THE WHOLE FUCKING STORE. SO... HE'S DROWNING HIS SORROWS AND HE'S FUCKING STEALING CUZ YOU KNOW HE DIDN'T PAY FOR THAT SHIT.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE POINT OF THIS WHISPERING IN SAM'S EAR IS, BUT IT'S AWESOME ALL THE SAME. PERHAPS DRUNK CAS FACE JUST LIKES BEING MORE DRAMATIC THAN USUAL. ALSO, HAAAAAND
LOLOLOLOL HOW MANY OF YOU LOVELY SASSITEERS ARE GOING TO TURN THIS INTO AN ICON? HE'S PRACTICALLY FUCKING ~NUZZLING~ SAM XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD HE MAY FIND SAM'S VOICE GRATING, BUT HE LIKES HOW SAM'S HAIR SMELLS.
I'm kinda curious why Castiel's first question about the situation is "any sign of angels?" He hasn't really asked about the angels all of this season unless he knows ahead of time that angels are involved.
I enjoy it when Castiel looks up. It makes his hair look even pointier.
Names of prophets are "seared into his brain." THIS SOUNDS PAINFUL.
<3333333333333333 PAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLL
And apathetic Dean, who just doesn't give a shit anymore, is still trying to help people. Not only is he a good guy, but it's part of his baser instincts, I'd wager.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO D: D: D:
AND EVERYONE THAT DEAN TRIES TO HELP (DEVON, EARLIER, AND NOW PAUL) IS WINDING UP DEAD D: D: D: HE WAS ALREADY HOPELESS, AND THEY KEEP DRIVING THE NAIL IN MORE AND MORE D: D:
... I'm simultaneously LOLing and D: D: D: at Castiel's explanation that he's been "ON A BENDER." I've been there too, Cas. For completely different reasons, but I've totally been there. And Dean's reactionary face to it is also XDDDD
EYEBROW
"IT IS NOT OF IMPORT. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE." YES, CAS. YOU'VE GOT THE TYPICAL DRUNKEN MINDSET. YOU BEING DRUNK DOESN'T EVEN MATTER. XDDD GRUMPY DRUNK CAS FACE IS GLORIOUS.
LOLOLOLOL LOOK AT DRUNK CAS FACE. I AM VERY GLAD HE DIDN'T HURL EVEN THOUGH IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO.
AKDL;JASKLDJSAKLD;HASJK;DKLASDJLASK; "THE WHORE" I'M ONLY MODERATELY FAMILIAR WITH THE "WHORE OF BABYLON" STUFF, BUT HEARING CAS SAY IT LIKE THAT IS ANOTHER THING THAT IS BOTH :D AND D: INDUCING
I'M IMAGINING THAT CASTIEL'S FINGERS ARE DRUNK TOO. AND HIS COAT. AND HIS HAIR. AND GODDAMN IT, HE'S LOOKING LIKE A BUNNY AGAIN.
IS IT JUST ME, OR IS CASTIEL SCRUFFIER THAN USUAL?
AJKLDJKASL;DJKLASJDKLSA;JDKSLADJKSAL; DRUNK CAS FACE IS SMILING "YOU BREED WITH THE MOUTH OF A GOAT" (OR IS IT BREATHE? WHATEVER, BREED IS FUNNIER)
NOW CASTIEL IS MAKING JOKES AND REFERENCES THAT SAM AND DEAN DON'T UNDERSTAND. IT GOES BOTH WAYS, DEAN.
DEAN MAKES THE SAME FACE CAS MAKES WHEN THEY DON'T GET EACH OTHER'S JOKES. GOD, I LOVE THEM. DEAN DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THAT REFERENCE, CAS. XDDDDDDDD
ADK;SAJKDSL;AJDKLSA;J GODDAMN IT, NO MATTER WHAT DRUNK CAS FACE IS DOING, HE'S DOING IT AWESOMELY
AWWWWW CAS, YOU ARE A GRUMPY JACKASS WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK. YOU MADE SAMMY SAD. D:
If I wasn't in a slight hurry today, I'd take Castiel's "I'm an angel of the lord" from 4.01 and "I'm an angel of the lord" from this episode and stick them side by side. God, he went from sounding almost PROUD about it to completely broken and hesitant and almost "yes, I'm an angel of the lord, but I'm not sure what that means now," or maybe even "but I don't wanna be" or "who the fuck cares that I'm an angel?"
I love this shot, and perhaps someone more familiar with Christian mythology can tell me if the windows that are framing them so nicely mean anything. *hint hint*
I should probably snag another shot of this guy. Apparently a lot of you guys like him or something. (I'm sorry. I liked Paul more.)
"And you're an angel." "A poor example of one." CAS, YOUR BROKENNESS IS BREAKING ME. And that line breaks me more than anything else in this episode. If angels could be proud, he definitely used to feel pride over what he was and what he does. Now it's hard to tell exactly what he thinks of himself - he's still an angel, and for a time he came across as the most loyal of all of God's angels, and then God let him down. It's hard for US to tell exactly what he is now aside from a broken angel, much less what he thinks he is now.
I'M SORRY THAT HALF OF MY SHOTS FROM THIS EP HAVE BEEN OF CASTIEL. Wait, no. I'm not sorry. I think I missed him or something. Or maybe I feel bad for him, since his dad blows donkey balls and the only thing he can do is drink a liquor store and half of fandom hates him and all I can do is just love him. <3
Also, HAAAAAND
He's so slumpy. D: But he looks quite lanky when he's sitting like that. :D
MY POOR BROKEN OTP D: D: D: And this is the part of the episode that made me freak out just ever-so-slightly. Nothing I've ever written has even come remotely true in a fic, but this moment made me go "dude, they actually went there." I've been latching onto this idea that Castiel has been emulating Dean, in a way - in 5.13 with the "touch Sam Winchester and I'll kill you" mentality, and then deciding to drown his sorrows in this episode. But what made me go "holy shit, I wrote that" was Dean tossing Castiel the bottle of painkillers and telling him to down all of them. Whether that's aspirin or fucking Percocet, Dean's essentially telling Castiel that the way to correct one problem (a hangover) is to deal with it by burying it in another problem (painkillers), not to mention that Dean can't say SHIT about using alcohol to numb a problem in the first place.
And yeah, like I said - BROKEN OTP. D: SO SO BROKEN. But even so, Dean's still trying to comfort Castiel, in his own way. Castiel tried to do the same for Dean in 5.14 and Dean just brushed it off, but Dean's returning the favor anyway. Except all he can do is tell Castiel that he "knows how Castiel feels." All he can do is offer sympathy and empathy.
And all Castiel can ask is how Dean can manage it. But that's just IT - Dean CAN'T manage it.
He deals by killing bad things. He's been essentially using hunting his entire life, in one way or another - as a way to keep his family together, as a way to feel like he's doing some good, as a path to redemption. It all boils down to one thing - it's a distraction, to keep him from completely shriveling up inside.
Random invisible Castiel whump. Even though we got some decent development out of him this episode, he once again served as nothing but exposition. Sigh. (But dude, the development we did get? Totally made up for him once again being used as an exposition device. :D)
Her sweater is frilly and pink. She did a decent job of switching from creepy prophet to maniacal demon here, BTW.
Uh. Dean is amazing. Broken, but amazing. And growly. And apparently a true "agent of Heaven," so holy shit to that.
LOL FACE
LOL FACE #2
I love that you can tell the exact moment Sam figures out what the dead demon means about Dean. It was such an enormous lightbulb that it made Sammy's hair stand up.
And OUCH, Dean. Fuck. Look at that from two angles: 1. Dean's an "agent of Heaven," and 2. he's been to Hell. So for HIM to tell someone that he's pretty sure they're going in the opposite direction of paradise? HARSH, man.
<3333333333333333333333333
DAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Castiel seriously needs to stop ending episodes thrown onto a bed in what looks like an incredibly uncomfortable position.
Dean saying "you'll be okay" and the preacher responding "no" is IT. Dean already made up his mind by this point, either consciously or unconsciously. Seeing one more person's life torn to shreds because of the apocalypse, which Dean is pretty sure he could stop if he would just give up and say 'yes' to Michael? One more nail in the coffin.
This entire episode? God, love-hate relationship with it, in a wonderful way. DEAN is the one leaving Sam to do his own thing. And it SUCKS, because I've wanted that moment for fucking AGES, and it's because Dean is fucking GIVING UP and my heart is fucking shattering.
God, this MOMENT. Even with all the drunk Cas and apathetic Dean and never-give-up Sam, THIS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING MOMENT OF THE EPISODE. It's something WE HAVE NEVER FUCKING SEEN. Dean willingly leaving, and Sam freaking out in the dust. It's terrible and wonderful at the same time.
When Dean left, I think he was initially leaving to go directly to start his negotiations with Heaven, but he's clearly gotta consider something before that.
I didn't read that many episode reactions, but I know a chockful of people were Not Happy about Lisa being here for the end. Personally, I thought it was randomly perfect. Dean has lamented - earlier THIS FUCKING SEASON, in fact - that he still wants a normal life. He wants the white picket fence and the kid and he wants to be a dad. Go back to 3.10 "Dream a Little Dream of Me." His dream, before his head got all crazy and we saw the demon version of him? His dream wasn't of Lisa herself - his dream was a LIFE with Lisa. Carmen wasn't real. Cassie rejected him after she found out what he did. Lisa, on the other hand, invited him to stay with her. She has a son who adores Dean. (And she's bendy.)
This scene wasn't Dean professing a secret "I've always been in love with you" for Lisa. He never even says anything remotely like that, and I think people were reading between the lines to get that. Take this scene as the anvil it is, guys: this was Dean saying goodbye to ANY chance he had of that normal life. He's been holding onto that wish, even when he knew it was impossible. Now he's truly letting it go, and Lisa is the ONLY personification of that life that he can't ever have. He doesn't want to say goodbye to the life he has and hates - he's saying goodbye to the life he always wanted. GOD DAMN IT, SHOW, I FUCKING HATE YOU SOMETIMES FOR MANAGING TO TEAR ME APART OVER SHIT LIKE THIS.
Also, even though Dean probably needed to do that for himself, GODDAMN, that's gotta suck for Lisa. A guy that she's kinda into randomly comes back and tells her something like THAT, refuses to stay, and then proceeds to say that the world is about to get really fucking scary. Ick, I'd hate to be in her shoes. D:
ALSO, WHAT THE FUCK. The first time I watched this, I thought Dean was just giving her a kiss on her temple. But the second time, it looks strange and he maybe moves her hair and it's a little long for a simple kiss on the temple.
In other words: is it just me, or is Dean whispering something in Lisa's ear? O__O
OMG FUCK YOU SHOW. YOU MAKE ME FLAIL BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FEEL, AND THEN YOU MAKE ME WONDER IF THERE IS SOME SECRET THING GOING ON AND IF THERE IS YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE IT MORE OBVIOUS. D:
2. Speaking of Bromide, we're gonna be up on about 20 music download/streaming sites soon-ish, including iTunes, Amazon, and last.fm. When I say "soon-ish," I mean anywhere from 2 weeks to 4 months. I dunno how fast some of these websites work. I'll probably be spamming you as I find us on more sites, 'cuz, yanno - self-promotion FTMFW.
3. My weekend was completely insane, and I pretty much feel like I didn't have a weekend. And now it's the week again, and I just want to collapse back into bed.
But the Cleveland Lottery League show was Saturday, and I was reminded of just how incredibly unique the LL is, how lucky I was to be a part of it (twice), and how fucking amazing it is. I keep trying to explain this to people and I don't think anyone will ever get it unless they're (1) really into music and have heard a wide variety of music to begin with, and (2) they actually see something like it happen, and CLEVELAND is the only place this happens.
Just... take 150 musicians, throw them in a bingo roller and toss them into all new bands, most of them made up of complete strangers. Those bands then have two months to come up with a band name and a ten minute set. You get all these musicians from different backgrounds and different training and different styles, and you wind up with some of the most amazing pieces. One band had a indie pop guitarist and a heavy metal vocalist. Another band had a soul vocalist and a dude on jazz/fusion-sounding vibraphone.
It's essentially taking different dishes of an extremely diverse music scene, throwing them all into a blender and then seeing what comes out. It's incredible, and I just wish I could explain it in a way that made people understood just how fucking AMAZING it is. GOD. I MAY GO ON AND RANT ABOUT THE POLICE MISTAKING DEAD BODIES FOR DEER AND SPORTS CURSES AND OUR SHITTY ECONOMY, BUT WE HAVE SOMETHING LIKE THE LOTTERY LEAGUE AND NO ONE ELSE DOES. Therefore, we win. <3
4. Okay, on to SPN 5.17. I started writing and uploading shit on Friday, but then LJ totally and completely flaked out of me after days of being flaky. D: Saturday was wiped out due to the Lottery League (which is pretty much an all day event - you wind up with 33 bands, dudes), and Sunday involved running all over NE Ohio. In other words, I've been slowly working on this over a course of four days, so it's probably more than a little disjointed.
Also, LJ Scrapbook is still being a bitch. Hopefully everything loads. Ugh, FU.
WE OPEN WITH CRAZY DRIVING FTW! \o/
... I enjoy it when they look straight at the camera.
What the FUCK is burning here? It seriously looks like a fake fire made out of cardboard caught on fire.
I AM HIGHLY AMUSED THAT THE DEMONS GO RUNNING ~TOWARDS~ THE HOLY WATER HOSE AND THEN JUST STAND THERE AND SCREAM.
I LOVE THEIR TRUNK OF DEMON HUNTING CRAP AND THRIFT STORE TRINKETS
AND IT SERIOUSLY LOOKS LIKE DEAN IS JUST WAITING FOR THEM TO BE IMPRESSED OR SOMETHING XD
AND I WOUND UP LOVING THIS GUY FOR SOME REASON. HE'S KINDA REALLY CUTE, OKAY
AND I LOVE THAT ORANGE TRAFFIC BARRELS ARE BEING USED AS PART OF THEIR BARRICADE XD
AND THAT THE SKY LOOKS LIKE THE SKY LOOKED IN 'THE END'
THERE HE IS AGAIN :D :D :D LOL, HE'S SO MUCH SHORTER THAN SAM THE JOLLY GREEN GIANT
I don't get why Dean is so shocked that a preacher is packing. Uh, remember Pastor Jim? Yet another dude who died on behalf of your family?
SAM'S FACE WHEN HE GETS "I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY MY NAME BOOOP BEEEP BOOOP BEEP BEEEEEP BOOOP'S" VOICEMAIL.
HELLOOOOO BARTENDER PAUL
Dean. "We're all gonna die. In like, a month. Maybe two." Oh, Dean. Broken, broken Dean. Dean's got absolutely no faith that anyone is going to be able to stop this.
SAMMY STILL BELIEVES IN THEMSELVES, THOUGH. \O/
This was the moment when I first started liking this guy. I don't pray, either, even when everyone else is. He knows something funky is going on already, plus he's not going to suddenly change his faith because the apocalypse is going down all around him.
And he's got a flask. In all honesty, maybe THIS is why I like this guy. Pack a flask to your gun-toting church, boy. <3
Have I mentioned that I LOVE THAT IT FINALLY FEELS LIKE IT'S THE FUCKING APOCALYPSE.
As much as I love watching Dean fighting and being all badass, when Sam is fighting it's just fucking AWESOME. He's just all limbs and "GRR" and gets slightly crazy-eyed.
I LOVE THIS FUCKING SEQUENCE WHERE SAM THROWS THE KNIFE
AND IT LANDS IN THIS DEMON
AND THEN DEAN GRABS IT
AND STICKS IT IN THIS DEMON
EVEN WHEN ONE WINCHESTER FEELS LIKE HE'S DEAD INSIDE AND THE OTHER WINCHESTER IS THE LAST ONE WITH ANY KIND OF HOPE THEY STILL CAN KICK SOME DEMON ASS. (+ BONUS PAUL)
Dude, Dean almost sounds like season 1 Dean when he says "you've saved my ass twice already, one more time you can drive." He's less growly.
DEAN SUPPORTS UNDERAGE DRINKING.
I didn't mention this last episode, but I am highly amused at the fact that they've been drinking so much fucking Schlitz lately. Schlitz is apparently their cheap beer of choice. I'm gonna laugh if I ever see him with some fucking Black Label or Genesse Cream Ale, for real.
D: D: D: THIS EPISODE KEEPS MAKING ME MAKE THIS FACE D: D: D:
GodDAMN, show. Everyone who is left in the care of the Winchesters winds up dead. (This is another reason why Cas and Bobby are so special. <3) But it's wearing down on an already incredibly worn Dean.
Leah is beautiful and extremely creepy at the same time.
Sam knows something's up with Dean, aside from the obvious. He's just getting more and more apathetic about everything. Go back to ep 14 (which is 15), and then last week, and now this: Dean just doesn't give a fuck anymore.
This scene between Leah and Dean is strange. Dean's asking her if she's "on the level" about paradise. I'm wondering if he's asking because he wants to find out what she thinks of it - if what "paradise" is what Castiel called it back at the end of S4, which Dean translated as being very "stepford." Is he trying to gauge what the rest of humanity thinks of that? I keep going back to Pamela's conversation with him last episode, and her poke into his resistance that Heaven isn't so bad.
Again: pretty, but CREEPY.
WHY DO I LIKE HIM SO MUCH? Maybe it's the "if I'm going to Hell, I'm going honest." He won't 'pretend' to be someone he's not.
Oh, SAAAAM. D: I keep thinking about 'Houses of the Holy' here, and how he believed way back then, because then he could think he was going to be saved, and now that he's basically got proof all he can do is rely on himself (and Dean). I'm proud of him, BUT ALSO SAD.
Sam's got every right to be irritated at what the town is doing, and he's venting, but he's got an ulterior motive for venting: HE WANTS DEAN TO REACT. He's trying to rile Dean up and IT'S NOT WORKING. D: (but he IS making quotey fingers XDDDD)
"What difference does it make?" Dean cares about EVERYTHING. He cares about shit he shouldn't be caring about. And now he's just flat and totally without hope.
"Stoning, poison kool aid." Oooh, reference to creepy Jim Jones. While I researching for the monster of a 5.04 fic, I did a fuck-ton of reading on cults and cult leaders in the past couple of months, and I kept going back to Jim Jones. Over 900 people died in a mass murder/suicide from drinking (or being forced to drink) cyanide-laced grape flavor aid. Single most deadly and dangerous cult leader in known history. (I know, everybody's heard of him. HIS STORY IS STILL CREEPY AND FASCINATING, THOUGH.)
Dean doesn't care that the people of the town put a curfew in place, and he doesn't care that he's breaking it, either. And all Sam can do is tell him that "it's past curfew," and then mumble it again after Dean walks out. What could Sam POSSIBLY say to make Dean give a shit about anything?
Okay, as sad and heartbreaking as this drunken version of Castiel is, I AM HIGHLY AMUSED BY HIM GOING STRAIGHT TO THE FRIDGE. WHEN HAS CASTIEL EVER PEEKED INSIDE THE WINCHESTERS' MOTEL FRIDGES?
Dean doesn't give a shit, and Castiel is just fucking IRRITATED AT EVERYTHING. "It was long, your message. And I find the sound of your voice grating." Sam's message couldn't have been longer than 7 seconds. For someone as OLD as Castiel is, 7 seconds isn't even a smidgen of a blink. And Sam is "his friend," and yet the sound of Sam's voice makes him even grumpier. D:
There's this little moment that I can't capture with still images, but when he first turns his head towards Sam his eyes do that 'trying to focus' thing that people often do when they're drunk. In other words, PROPS TO MISHA for adding in those little tiny nuances that give a bit more authenticity. Acting drunk isn't easy, and it's incredibly easy to turn it into bad acting. You've gotta do more than slur your words and stumble and make funny faces.
BUT STUMBLING AND MAKING FUNNY FACES NEVER HURTS XDDDDDDDDDDDDD
I'M SORRY BUT I'M JUST GOING TO SPAM YOU WITH AN OBSCENE AMOUNT OF DRUNK CAS FACE RIGHT NOW
OKAY, SO I HAD TO GO TO BAND PRACTICE LAST NIGHT INSTEAD OF WATCHING SPN, AND RIGHT AS WE WERE WRAPPING UP GRWAT TEXT MESSAGED ME WITH NOTHING BUT THAT LINE: "I FOUND A LIQUOR STORE AND I DRANK IT." AND I DON'T DOUBT THAT HE DID, KNOWING HIS TOLERANCE. HE TOTALLY DID DRINK THE WHOLE FUCKING STORE. SO... HE'S DROWNING HIS SORROWS AND HE'S FUCKING STEALING CUZ YOU KNOW HE DIDN'T PAY FOR THAT SHIT.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE POINT OF THIS WHISPERING IN SAM'S EAR IS, BUT IT'S AWESOME ALL THE SAME. PERHAPS DRUNK CAS FACE JUST LIKES BEING MORE DRAMATIC THAN USUAL. ALSO, HAAAAAND
LOLOLOLOL HOW MANY OF YOU LOVELY SASSITEERS ARE GOING TO TURN THIS INTO AN ICON? HE'S PRACTICALLY FUCKING ~NUZZLING~ SAM XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD HE MAY FIND SAM'S VOICE GRATING, BUT HE LIKES HOW SAM'S HAIR SMELLS.
I'm kinda curious why Castiel's first question about the situation is "any sign of angels?" He hasn't really asked about the angels all of this season unless he knows ahead of time that angels are involved.
I enjoy it when Castiel looks up. It makes his hair look even pointier.
Names of prophets are "seared into his brain." THIS SOUNDS PAINFUL.
<3333333333333333 PAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLL
And apathetic Dean, who just doesn't give a shit anymore, is still trying to help people. Not only is he a good guy, but it's part of his baser instincts, I'd wager.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO D: D: D:
AND EVERYONE THAT DEAN TRIES TO HELP (DEVON, EARLIER, AND NOW PAUL) IS WINDING UP DEAD D: D: D: HE WAS ALREADY HOPELESS, AND THEY KEEP DRIVING THE NAIL IN MORE AND MORE D: D:
... I'm simultaneously LOLing and D: D: D: at Castiel's explanation that he's been "ON A BENDER." I've been there too, Cas. For completely different reasons, but I've totally been there. And Dean's reactionary face to it is also XDDDD
EYEBROW
"IT IS NOT OF IMPORT. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE." YES, CAS. YOU'VE GOT THE TYPICAL DRUNKEN MINDSET. YOU BEING DRUNK DOESN'T EVEN MATTER. XDDD GRUMPY DRUNK CAS FACE IS GLORIOUS.
LOLOLOLOL LOOK AT DRUNK CAS FACE. I AM VERY GLAD HE DIDN'T HURL EVEN THOUGH IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO.
AKDL;JASKLDJSAKLD;HASJK;DKLASDJLASK; "THE WHORE" I'M ONLY MODERATELY FAMILIAR WITH THE "WHORE OF BABYLON" STUFF, BUT HEARING CAS SAY IT LIKE THAT IS ANOTHER THING THAT IS BOTH :D AND D: INDUCING
I'M IMAGINING THAT CASTIEL'S FINGERS ARE DRUNK TOO. AND HIS COAT. AND HIS HAIR. AND GODDAMN IT, HE'S LOOKING LIKE A BUNNY AGAIN.
IS IT JUST ME, OR IS CASTIEL SCRUFFIER THAN USUAL?
AJKLDJKASL;DJKLASJDKLSA;JDKSLADJKSAL; DRUNK CAS FACE IS SMILING "YOU BREED WITH THE MOUTH OF A GOAT" (OR IS IT BREATHE? WHATEVER, BREED IS FUNNIER)
NOW CASTIEL IS MAKING JOKES AND REFERENCES THAT SAM AND DEAN DON'T UNDERSTAND. IT GOES BOTH WAYS, DEAN.
DEAN MAKES THE SAME FACE CAS MAKES WHEN THEY DON'T GET EACH OTHER'S JOKES. GOD, I LOVE THEM. DEAN DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THAT REFERENCE, CAS. XDDDDDDDD
ADK;SAJKDSL;AJDKLSA;J GODDAMN IT, NO MATTER WHAT DRUNK CAS FACE IS DOING, HE'S DOING IT AWESOMELY
AWWWWW CAS, YOU ARE A GRUMPY JACKASS WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK. YOU MADE SAMMY SAD. D:
If I wasn't in a slight hurry today, I'd take Castiel's "I'm an angel of the lord" from 4.01 and "I'm an angel of the lord" from this episode and stick them side by side. God, he went from sounding almost PROUD about it to completely broken and hesitant and almost "yes, I'm an angel of the lord, but I'm not sure what that means now," or maybe even "but I don't wanna be" or "who the fuck cares that I'm an angel?"
I love this shot, and perhaps someone more familiar with Christian mythology can tell me if the windows that are framing them so nicely mean anything. *hint hint*
I should probably snag another shot of this guy. Apparently a lot of you guys like him or something. (I'm sorry. I liked Paul more.)
"And you're an angel." "A poor example of one." CAS, YOUR BROKENNESS IS BREAKING ME. And that line breaks me more than anything else in this episode. If angels could be proud, he definitely used to feel pride over what he was and what he does. Now it's hard to tell exactly what he thinks of himself - he's still an angel, and for a time he came across as the most loyal of all of God's angels, and then God let him down. It's hard for US to tell exactly what he is now aside from a broken angel, much less what he thinks he is now.
I'M SORRY THAT HALF OF MY SHOTS FROM THIS EP HAVE BEEN OF CASTIEL. Wait, no. I'm not sorry. I think I missed him or something. Or maybe I feel bad for him, since his dad blows donkey balls and the only thing he can do is drink a liquor store and half of fandom hates him and all I can do is just love him. <3
Also, HAAAAAND
He's so slumpy. D: But he looks quite lanky when he's sitting like that. :D
MY POOR BROKEN OTP D: D: D: And this is the part of the episode that made me freak out just ever-so-slightly. Nothing I've ever written has even come remotely true in a fic, but this moment made me go "dude, they actually went there." I've been latching onto this idea that Castiel has been emulating Dean, in a way - in 5.13 with the "touch Sam Winchester and I'll kill you" mentality, and then deciding to drown his sorrows in this episode. But what made me go "holy shit, I wrote that" was Dean tossing Castiel the bottle of painkillers and telling him to down all of them. Whether that's aspirin or fucking Percocet, Dean's essentially telling Castiel that the way to correct one problem (a hangover) is to deal with it by burying it in another problem (painkillers), not to mention that Dean can't say SHIT about using alcohol to numb a problem in the first place.
And yeah, like I said - BROKEN OTP. D: SO SO BROKEN. But even so, Dean's still trying to comfort Castiel, in his own way. Castiel tried to do the same for Dean in 5.14 and Dean just brushed it off, but Dean's returning the favor anyway. Except all he can do is tell Castiel that he "knows how Castiel feels." All he can do is offer sympathy and empathy.
And all Castiel can ask is how Dean can manage it. But that's just IT - Dean CAN'T manage it.
He deals by killing bad things. He's been essentially using hunting his entire life, in one way or another - as a way to keep his family together, as a way to feel like he's doing some good, as a path to redemption. It all boils down to one thing - it's a distraction, to keep him from completely shriveling up inside.
Random invisible Castiel whump. Even though we got some decent development out of him this episode, he once again served as nothing but exposition. Sigh. (But dude, the development we did get? Totally made up for him once again being used as an exposition device. :D)
Her sweater is frilly and pink. She did a decent job of switching from creepy prophet to maniacal demon here, BTW.
Uh. Dean is amazing. Broken, but amazing. And growly. And apparently a true "agent of Heaven," so holy shit to that.
LOL FACE
LOL FACE #2
I love that you can tell the exact moment Sam figures out what the dead demon means about Dean. It was such an enormous lightbulb that it made Sammy's hair stand up.
And OUCH, Dean. Fuck. Look at that from two angles: 1. Dean's an "agent of Heaven," and 2. he's been to Hell. So for HIM to tell someone that he's pretty sure they're going in the opposite direction of paradise? HARSH, man.
<3333333333333333333333333
DAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Castiel seriously needs to stop ending episodes thrown onto a bed in what looks like an incredibly uncomfortable position.
Dean saying "you'll be okay" and the preacher responding "no" is IT. Dean already made up his mind by this point, either consciously or unconsciously. Seeing one more person's life torn to shreds because of the apocalypse, which Dean is pretty sure he could stop if he would just give up and say 'yes' to Michael? One more nail in the coffin.
This entire episode? God, love-hate relationship with it, in a wonderful way. DEAN is the one leaving Sam to do his own thing. And it SUCKS, because I've wanted that moment for fucking AGES, and it's because Dean is fucking GIVING UP and my heart is fucking shattering.
God, this MOMENT. Even with all the drunk Cas and apathetic Dean and never-give-up Sam, THIS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING MOMENT OF THE EPISODE. It's something WE HAVE NEVER FUCKING SEEN. Dean willingly leaving, and Sam freaking out in the dust. It's terrible and wonderful at the same time.
When Dean left, I think he was initially leaving to go directly to start his negotiations with Heaven, but he's clearly gotta consider something before that.
I didn't read that many episode reactions, but I know a chockful of people were Not Happy about Lisa being here for the end. Personally, I thought it was randomly perfect. Dean has lamented - earlier THIS FUCKING SEASON, in fact - that he still wants a normal life. He wants the white picket fence and the kid and he wants to be a dad. Go back to 3.10 "Dream a Little Dream of Me." His dream, before his head got all crazy and we saw the demon version of him? His dream wasn't of Lisa herself - his dream was a LIFE with Lisa. Carmen wasn't real. Cassie rejected him after she found out what he did. Lisa, on the other hand, invited him to stay with her. She has a son who adores Dean. (And she's bendy.)
This scene wasn't Dean professing a secret "I've always been in love with you" for Lisa. He never even says anything remotely like that, and I think people were reading between the lines to get that. Take this scene as the anvil it is, guys: this was Dean saying goodbye to ANY chance he had of that normal life. He's been holding onto that wish, even when he knew it was impossible. Now he's truly letting it go, and Lisa is the ONLY personification of that life that he can't ever have. He doesn't want to say goodbye to the life he has and hates - he's saying goodbye to the life he always wanted. GOD DAMN IT, SHOW, I FUCKING HATE YOU SOMETIMES FOR MANAGING TO TEAR ME APART OVER SHIT LIKE THIS.
Also, even though Dean probably needed to do that for himself, GODDAMN, that's gotta suck for Lisa. A guy that she's kinda into randomly comes back and tells her something like THAT, refuses to stay, and then proceeds to say that the world is about to get really fucking scary. Ick, I'd hate to be in her shoes. D:
ALSO, WHAT THE FUCK. The first time I watched this, I thought Dean was just giving her a kiss on her temple. But the second time, it looks strange and he maybe moves her hair and it's a little long for a simple kiss on the temple.
In other words: is it just me, or is Dean whispering something in Lisa's ear? O__O
OMG FUCK YOU SHOW. YOU MAKE ME FLAIL BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FEEL, AND THEN YOU MAKE ME WONDER IF THERE IS SOME SECRET THING GOING ON AND IF THERE IS YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE IT MORE OBVIOUS. D: