Hello, Life? This is War.
From the right to the left, we will fight to the death.
To the edge of the Earth, it's a brave new world from the last to the first.
Things have been rather hectic lately, I'm afraid. As such, this blog post will likely be tragically short compared to what I'm hoping will be the norm. I suppose I should start with the negative things in an attempt to cleanse my mind from the dark thoughts that so often stir there. After that, I'll give the few bits of good news I have. I'm sorry to say, this is more to make myself feel better than for your enjoyment. It's not that I don't consider your enjoyment very important (and believe me, I do), but today is not a day for me to worry about your happiness. Today is a day for me to worry about myself, which I seldom seem to do.
So where shall I begin?
The relationship drama has only escalated since the last time it was so vaguely mentioned. To keep things at base level, a near two and a half year relationship has just ended. It is perhaps the most painful, heartbreaking experience I've gone through thus far. That being said, this decision very well may not be permanent. The person in question and I had been having some communication problems, only made further difficult by their recent depression. Now, I know what you're thinking - "You would leave someone who was going through depression? That's heartless!" However, it stems deeper than that.
The depression was mainly caused by their adjusting to college and trying to figure out who they are and where their life is going. It is because of this that they clung to me as a primary support line instead of attempting to solve their problems. I want them to figure out who they are and what they want. They need some alone time to sort through themselves, and I have some sorting of my own to do, too. That isn't to say that I don't miss them terribly, because I do. Like so many times before, the decision for this break was mutual because we care far too much for the other's happiness, and not nearly enough for our own. I suppose only time will tell what that situation yields.
The other major cause for sorrow in my life as of late is that my great aunt Mary passed away the other day. There isn't much to say for this one. She was in her late seventies, with several debilitating health problems, and was already in the hospital after just going through a massive heart attack. Her death was not altogether unexpected. I also had only met the woman a small handful of times in my life. My mother cared for her, but was not all that close to her. However, my grandmother cared deeply for her as a sister, and sat there and watched her die. I could only imagine the pain of watching a sibling pass on right before your very eyes.
As hit-and-miss as my relationship with my younger brother is, I don't know that I would handle a situation like that very well. I can't say for certain, but I would probably shatter a window or break something fragile, or have a mental breakdown. Either that, or I would become selectively mute for a long time. I suppose all I can do at this point is be there to support my grandmother, and hope that she'll fair okay. This passing was hardly unexpected, but it's still a painful experience.
Now, for the few good things that have transpired recently.
The first being that I have a job interview at a currently unnamed video rental store tomorrow. Hopefully that yields positive results. I could certainly use the money, and I quite think I would enjoy working at a store that specializes in renting out movies and video games. That area of interest is right up my alley, if I do say so myself. That being said, I will go into the interview with my head held high, but I'll try not to expect anything. I'd like to not have another emotional issue to deal with if I don't get the job.
Another small but pleasing thing is that I came into a little bit of money recently. I do quite literally mean a little bit, but I had enough to do some shopping at Walmart and Meijer, and might spend what's left of it at the mall, given the chance. I am quite happy with the purchases I've made thus far (and the prices I got them at, too). I was in desperate need of eyeliner, so I picked up some classic black liner, and a more shimmery, warm liner that is brown in color. I'm thinking it will go nicely with the browns and greens in my eye shadow collection. I was also seriously in need of some new chapstick, and I found that the Smackers Strawberry Vanilla that I picked up does the job quite nicely. I also managed to find some purple mascara, which I'm very happy with.
Aside from makeup I was running low on, I also picked up two shirts, and a pair of shorts. The shorts, being pink, black, and white plaid, are an article of clothing I was desperately in need of to deal with this uncomfortably hot summer weather. I found a white v-neck t-shirt with magenta and black designs on the front that I think complements the shorts nicely. I also managed to find a light blue t-shirt depicting a rather darkly hilarious scene on the front: The sun is up in the sky, burning brightly and looking rather jolly and chipper. On the ground below, a lone ice cream cone has melted, it's corpse strewn about rather haphazardly. A slowly melting popsicle looks up into the sky with anger, pain, and sorrow, screaming at the malevolent sun, the words on the shirt reading "You monster!" It is rather dark at the heart of it, but I thought the graphic was rather adorable.
What made this little shopping excursion even more exciting was the ability to share it with some good friends from BG. Originally, it was going to be a girls' day sort of thing with Ariel and Michelle. Amanda managed to join us for the trip as well. Michelle and Amanda were browsing around for whatever happened to randomly interest them, but Ariel and I were on a mission. Or rather, I was helping Ariel on her's. She happened to be on a rather adamant quest to find some good, plastic dinosaurs to play with. Yes, we are college students, and yes, we do enjoy activities of such whimsical frivolity. After having a few laughs and taking some pictures of amusing things we found in the children's toy aisle, we managed to run into Martin and Bryce near the checkout at Meijer. It's been a while since I've seen Martin, and I have a feeling he and I are going to have to make plans to hang out in the very near future. Nothing helps a girl get over such rough times like ice cream and a gay male friend to talk it over with. Hopefully something can be done about that.
The last thing that has been great cause for joy lately is something that I'm not technically supposed to reveal yet, so I'll make the revelation as vague as I possibly can. I had applied a week or two ago to join the staff of a website that reviews things such as anime, manga, and video games on a fairly regular basis. The job would be more of a volunteer position, and doesn't pay anything. However, considering that I am currently an Asian Studies major with plans to pick up a double major in English, I feel like this would look excellent on a resume, and be quite a bit of fun besides. The good news here is that I got the position. I am terribly excited for it, and I shall post more open details about it once the leader of the website has given the heads up to the staff.
So for now, I suppose that's a decent enough rundown of everything that's gone on since the last time I informed you about my tiny, little life here. Also, I seem to have made this post quite a bit longer than I was originally expecting it to turn out, so I suppose this really is the norm, which doesn't bother me in the slightest.
I suppose this is goodbye for now, kids.
You can rest easy knowing I'll certainly post again soon.
xoxo