I hate people. -_- Don't read this.
I’ve forgotten why I bother with anything or anyone. Things aren’t going to get much better, so that reason is obviously obsolete. Lately I’ve become increasingly reclusive in real life. It’s only really on the Internet that I don’t avoid people. And that doesn’t make too much sense, because it’s both in real life and online that people avoid me.
I trust no one at the moment. I feel that every fucking person in my life has lied to me, and they will continue to do so. And I’m talking about EVERYONE here. -_- Usually when I get depressed I’m just sad, but lately I’ve been pretty angry too. Don’t know why really, I suppose I’m just sick of it all. I obviously wasn’t made for this place, because I can’t handle all of the little hurts and rejections anymore.
I’m (selfishly) angry with Emma. She just keeps proving by her actions that I mean nothing to her, but every time we talk I leave convinced otherwise. I won’t let her do that again. But hey, she ignored my last email, so she probably wants to avoid me for a couple of weeks again. It shouldn’t matter, I know. But it’s VERY rare for a girl to show interest in me, so if she’s just been lying the whole time, then that’s…not good for me...
I’ve got a fantastic night ahead of me. Apparently my fucking “friends” are actually going to show up at school tomorrow (unlike what happened on Monday), so I’ll go there and sign out with them, and I won’t have to go back to that shit hole at the moment. And so, yeah, I have to stay at my sister’s house tonight, because that’s where I usually stay before I go to school, and she would want me to help her take out the garbage or whatever. I don’t mind that, but what I do mind is that I’ll be alone in my flat again. Yep, lying in bed, a fresh cut or two on my arm, unable to sleep, and texting people that have no reason to reply. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it? -_- I can’t handle many more nights like that, so that’s why I want to move out of my sisters house and back into my mums permanently. The Internet’s here, so it’s better.
Oh well. It’s no one else’s fault/problem, so I shouldn’t be complaining.
I trust no one at the moment. I feel that every fucking person in my life has lied to me, and they will continue to do so. And I’m talking about EVERYONE here. -_- Usually when I get depressed I’m just sad, but lately I’ve been pretty angry too. Don’t know why really, I suppose I’m just sick of it all. I obviously wasn’t made for this place, because I can’t handle all of the little hurts and rejections anymore.
I’m (selfishly) angry with Emma. She just keeps proving by her actions that I mean nothing to her, but every time we talk I leave convinced otherwise. I won’t let her do that again. But hey, she ignored my last email, so she probably wants to avoid me for a couple of weeks again. It shouldn’t matter, I know. But it’s VERY rare for a girl to show interest in me, so if she’s just been lying the whole time, then that’s…not good for me...
I’ve got a fantastic night ahead of me. Apparently my fucking “friends” are actually going to show up at school tomorrow (unlike what happened on Monday), so I’ll go there and sign out with them, and I won’t have to go back to that shit hole at the moment. And so, yeah, I have to stay at my sister’s house tonight, because that’s where I usually stay before I go to school, and she would want me to help her take out the garbage or whatever. I don’t mind that, but what I do mind is that I’ll be alone in my flat again. Yep, lying in bed, a fresh cut or two on my arm, unable to sleep, and texting people that have no reason to reply. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it? -_- I can’t handle many more nights like that, so that’s why I want to move out of my sisters house and back into my mums permanently. The Internet’s here, so it’s better.
Oh well. It’s no one else’s fault/problem, so I shouldn’t be complaining.