Let me know if this is unblocked for "content" now
Ugh, I wrote a post at work about work, but can't post it from that location so... It'll get pasted later.
I have not been using the phone app. The iphone 5s is tiny and my eyemeats are too old to see the thing.
I'm spending a surprising amount of time walking around pokemon-ing. It's cutting into my diablo time. It's fun that I get to do it with the gf. I'm not embarrassed that I'm playing a child's game - I watched the cartoon in my late 20s or early 30s. But it's weird that I'm walking outside so much for...a game, when for health and the environment I've generally chosen to drive. It makes me question my priorities, competitiveness, and general silliness. Why do I play games so much? Why don't I read, stretch, socialize, or do important things more?
It's labor day weekend, my gf comes back today after a long trip and I'm looking forward to hibernating with her, the windows are open for the first time since HEAT and I'm sipping coffee before the rest of the world thinks about waking up. I feel good.
But old. ohmifuck I'm getting old. It happens in odd steps rather than a slow curve. Today's issue is with the gf out of town, I've let my goat face come in and my chin has obvious white hairs. I have white PUBIC hairs - many (as I shave, I rarely see them - so when I'm lazy and gross it's a shock to see what changed). I'm 48 and many of my friends have lost hair or had gray since 30 or even younger - but this is my experience. I have more hair on my neck - again I'm hairless compared to normal people, but this is me. Oddly the hair is disappearing from my legs, but ... it's growing on my ears. You can't see it/them yet, but it's becoming more obvious, common, and actual hair like than downy invisible fuzz. Hair grows in my nose - I had to force myself to admit that. It's beyond gross.
I. Can't. See. I've had good enough to 20/20 vision my whole life, and now it is literally a daily struggle to see. I see fine with reading glasses on, but to lug them around is a pain and it's a pain and embarrassing to unfold them to view something for 5 seconds. The meat of my eye has stopped growing, is getting stiff, and is drying up. I'm dying a little at a time, with each organ I never think about going through various degrees of depreciation at varying rates. I have some random spots of pigment on my face - age spots I think. I have freckles throughout my sleeve tan. My feet have some patches of dry, hard, skin. My gray hairs in front are spreading. The signs of death can be fought but are growing in degree and number.
Gym - I just saw the doctor and yes, I have the beginning of real age problems. I have literally shrunk because my spine is compressing - and traction won't do a thing about it. Some discs are better than others, and surgery is an option plus far easier than thought - but I'm nowhere near needing it. Still, my discs are showing degeneration normal due to age, and they do things like compress nerves. If I didn't work out I may not know, so it's good to get this lesson now. The doctor specifically said even if I wanted surgery, it's out-patient and low-risk, but he'd refuse because it's not worth it. It's odd to have to step out of my workout emphasis and admit whether I bench 155 or 235 is not important. But I walk away with no answer to my "How did I get injured, and how do I prevent it" question other than "time and death." He said I am able to work out with good form as much as I like.
The doc also said I was his easiest patient that day. The wall was covered with ads for pain-med-to-spine pumps, nerve blockers, and warnings about opioid abuse. I remember the pain from both times I popped a nerve, and it seems this is something that happens with age. I didn't notice a lot of the aging process due to the gym - not a bad thing. I feel pain all the time, but it's from or overridden by my soreness for strength training.
Socially my gym workout is a disaster. I feel part of a "team" when I work out alone, happy to help others but not making friends. In fact I'm far more happy alone than ever in my life, but I'm also far happier and comfortable with friends than I used to be too. Confidence has been a huge issue in my life, both as an unknown disabling condition and a great benefit. I'm better than the morons who bench press and hip-thrust-bicep-fake-curl and think women will fuck them for their arm meat, but still...why do I enjoy being strong for a little person?
I don't intend to change - I know I need to do more cardio, but I don't enjoy it and I always fall off the bandwagon. My gf is too good to really run with her, or that's my excuse. Feels real. But while my workout may be silly, it has me a) going to the gym 4 days a week, b) doing yoga-like stretching, c) discovering health issues, d) correcting my posture in my daily life, e) saving a fortune on antidepressants or therapy because I'm always hopped up on endorphins, f) learning more and practicing social skills with brief stranger encounters (which matters, but that's another post), and of course e) getting some cardio exercise, even if it's intermittent and moderate rather than the long painful burn of running.
House, briefly: I'm not moving in this labor day weekend. Although Jordan was "mostly done" last week...well I stopped by the place yesterday evening and he was there, and explained he only has ONE EMPLOYEE right now, but he just got paid on another job so he's more flush. He said he'll be there - he "hopes" Monday (he's flexible with his folks) but definitely Tuesday. They have to thread electric and do detail work. He noted one of his employees also has his own crew (a subcontractor with subcontractors). The remaining bill has dropped more, by around 10fuckingthousand.
It sounds silly but it's been near-ready to move in for ages. I'm looking forward to moving in. I am looking forward to not being spread between 3 places and driving all the time, worried about jams and rush hour. At least the house is...liveable now, almost. There is electricity, lights, floors you can walk on, water and toilets...it's not a shell. It's just not done. The a/c condensation pump is running off a switch in the front hallway...
Enough coffee-infused writing: back to playing diablo before I do squats at the gym, which is about 7 pokestops from here (because yellow has taken over all 5 gyms I can see from here, no gold for me today)
I have not been using the phone app. The iphone 5s is tiny and my eyemeats are too old to see the thing.
I'm spending a surprising amount of time walking around pokemon-ing. It's cutting into my diablo time. It's fun that I get to do it with the gf. I'm not embarrassed that I'm playing a child's game - I watched the cartoon in my late 20s or early 30s. But it's weird that I'm walking outside so much for...a game, when for health and the environment I've generally chosen to drive. It makes me question my priorities, competitiveness, and general silliness. Why do I play games so much? Why don't I read, stretch, socialize, or do important things more?
It's labor day weekend, my gf comes back today after a long trip and I'm looking forward to hibernating with her, the windows are open for the first time since HEAT and I'm sipping coffee before the rest of the world thinks about waking up. I feel good.
But old. ohmifuck I'm getting old. It happens in odd steps rather than a slow curve. Today's issue is with the gf out of town, I've let my goat face come in and my chin has obvious white hairs. I have white PUBIC hairs - many (as I shave, I rarely see them - so when I'm lazy and gross it's a shock to see what changed). I'm 48 and many of my friends have lost hair or had gray since 30 or even younger - but this is my experience. I have more hair on my neck - again I'm hairless compared to normal people, but this is me. Oddly the hair is disappearing from my legs, but ... it's growing on my ears. You can't see it/them yet, but it's becoming more obvious, common, and actual hair like than downy invisible fuzz. Hair grows in my nose - I had to force myself to admit that. It's beyond gross.
I. Can't. See. I've had good enough to 20/20 vision my whole life, and now it is literally a daily struggle to see. I see fine with reading glasses on, but to lug them around is a pain and it's a pain and embarrassing to unfold them to view something for 5 seconds. The meat of my eye has stopped growing, is getting stiff, and is drying up. I'm dying a little at a time, with each organ I never think about going through various degrees of depreciation at varying rates. I have some random spots of pigment on my face - age spots I think. I have freckles throughout my sleeve tan. My feet have some patches of dry, hard, skin. My gray hairs in front are spreading. The signs of death can be fought but are growing in degree and number.
Gym - I just saw the doctor and yes, I have the beginning of real age problems. I have literally shrunk because my spine is compressing - and traction won't do a thing about it. Some discs are better than others, and surgery is an option plus far easier than thought - but I'm nowhere near needing it. Still, my discs are showing degeneration normal due to age, and they do things like compress nerves. If I didn't work out I may not know, so it's good to get this lesson now. The doctor specifically said even if I wanted surgery, it's out-patient and low-risk, but he'd refuse because it's not worth it. It's odd to have to step out of my workout emphasis and admit whether I bench 155 or 235 is not important. But I walk away with no answer to my "How did I get injured, and how do I prevent it" question other than "time and death." He said I am able to work out with good form as much as I like.
The doc also said I was his easiest patient that day. The wall was covered with ads for pain-med-to-spine pumps, nerve blockers, and warnings about opioid abuse. I remember the pain from both times I popped a nerve, and it seems this is something that happens with age. I didn't notice a lot of the aging process due to the gym - not a bad thing. I feel pain all the time, but it's from or overridden by my soreness for strength training.
Socially my gym workout is a disaster. I feel part of a "team" when I work out alone, happy to help others but not making friends. In fact I'm far more happy alone than ever in my life, but I'm also far happier and comfortable with friends than I used to be too. Confidence has been a huge issue in my life, both as an unknown disabling condition and a great benefit. I'm better than the morons who bench press and hip-thrust-bicep-fake-curl and think women will fuck them for their arm meat, but still...why do I enjoy being strong for a little person?
I don't intend to change - I know I need to do more cardio, but I don't enjoy it and I always fall off the bandwagon. My gf is too good to really run with her, or that's my excuse. Feels real. But while my workout may be silly, it has me a) going to the gym 4 days a week, b) doing yoga-like stretching, c) discovering health issues, d) correcting my posture in my daily life, e) saving a fortune on antidepressants or therapy because I'm always hopped up on endorphins, f) learning more and practicing social skills with brief stranger encounters (which matters, but that's another post), and of course e) getting some cardio exercise, even if it's intermittent and moderate rather than the long painful burn of running.
House, briefly: I'm not moving in this labor day weekend. Although Jordan was "mostly done" last week...well I stopped by the place yesterday evening and he was there, and explained he only has ONE EMPLOYEE right now, but he just got paid on another job so he's more flush. He said he'll be there - he "hopes" Monday (he's flexible with his folks) but definitely Tuesday. They have to thread electric and do detail work. He noted one of his employees also has his own crew (a subcontractor with subcontractors). The remaining bill has dropped more, by around 10fuckingthousand.
It sounds silly but it's been near-ready to move in for ages. I'm looking forward to moving in. I am looking forward to not being spread between 3 places and driving all the time, worried about jams and rush hour. At least the house is...liveable now, almost. There is electricity, lights, floors you can walk on, water and toilets...it's not a shell. It's just not done. The a/c condensation pump is running off a switch in the front hallway...
Enough coffee-infused writing: back to playing diablo before I do squats at the gym, which is about 7 pokestops from here (because yellow has taken over all 5 gyms I can see from here, no gold for me today)