Fic: Family Arc II - 20

Aug 01, 2008 23:19

Title: Family Arc II - 20
Author: vic_sim
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. I apologise for any incorrect portrayal of people or any inaccurate details mentioned in my story.
Pairing: None at the moment.
Category: Angst
Rating: NC-16 (just to be safe)
Summary: Eunhyuk and Siwon. and another day of taking care of Kyuhyun.
Arc I Arc II

Kyuhyun slept the whole day, making up for the lost sleep the week he was taking care of his mother. He was also recuperating from the illness that still clung on to him. He slept peacefully, basking in the presence of his hyungs, which prevented the nightmares from coming. It allowed him the first full day of sleep that he had in ages.

Eunhyuk and Siwon stayed in the room, not wanting to leave Kyuhyun alone especially after promising that they would be there by his side. None of them wanted to break the promise they made, even if they didn’t know that Kyuhyun never placed much trust in promises made to him. Eunhyuk settled on Ryeowook’s bed, leaning against the wall and hugging Ryeowook’s pillow, contented to just watch Kyuhyun sleep.

Siwon sat on the chair next to Kyuhyun, reading his book. Or at least pretending to read his book. He stared at the page. Siwon was not processing anything that was written in his brain. His mind kept wandering to Kyuhyun, wondering how Kyuhyun was coping, whether he was doing well in his physiotherapy, how his injuries were recovering, when Kyuhyun would be back with them as Super Junior. Siwon was looking forward to the day Kyuhyun could be on stage with them. He never doubted that Kyuhyun would return to stage. It was only a matter of when. Finally Siwon closed the book, giving up his pretence of reading.

“Eunhyuk-hyung.”

Eunhyuk looked up, opening his eyes. He had closed his eyes and was resting while still keeping an ear out for anything that Siwon or Kyuhyun might need. He was after all the oldest present, even if he did not always act like it. Eunhyuk tilted his head to the side, letting Siwon know that he was paying attention.

“Eunhyuk-hyung, what do you think exactly happen to Kyuhyun during his childhood, making him like this?” Siwon immediately added after his question, realising that something was wrong.

“I’m not saying that he turned out bad. In fact, he turned out to be a brilliant person. It’s just that he’s so afraid to be close to people, so afraid that he doesn’t allow himself to get close even if he craves for it.” Siwon’s voice lowered to a whisper as he turned to stare at Kyuhyun.

Eunhyuk strained to hear Siwon’s words, leaning forward from his position. He leaned back when he caught the words. Eunhyuk looked towards the bed. Kyuhyun was curled up to the side, facing Siwon and hugging the elephant to his chest. He looked so innocent, so child-like that Eunhyuk didn’t want to fathom what happened in his childhood, as in his heart, Eunhyuk knew that it was not that picturesque.

Siwon’s hand slowly landed on Kyuhyun’s head, fingers twining through his hair. Kyuhyun was still running a slight fever, but it was much better than yesterday.

“I don’t know much about Kyu’s childhood.” Eunhyuk admitted. “He never talked much about himself, silent like Kibummie. It’s only after the accident that I started learning more about Kyu.” Eunhyuk hugged the pillow tighter. “He doesn’t say much. What I know I gathered from observing him. Sometimes, he gets this far away look in his eyes when we’re talking about our childhood. Did you notice that whenever we have that conversation Kyuhyun simply sits there and listens?”

Siwon turned around, looking at Eunhyuk, his hand still playing with Kyuhyun’s hair. “It’s almost as if he has nothing to share.” Siwon paused before continuing. “That was what I thought then. But now, I think that he didn’t think they were worth sharing.”

Siwon had no idea that his both thoughts were exactly what Kyuhyun believed in. Eunhyuk nodded, agreeing with Siwon. He too had noticed that while they were all discussing happily about their childhood - something that Kibum also joined in, Kyuhyun just sat there, absorbing everything like a sponge. Eunhyuk had originally thought that it was because Kyuhyun was shy - he had just joined them when they had one of such conversations. Now Eunhyuk wondered why none of them thought that the action was weird.

Eunhyuk patted the bed next to him, inviting Siwon to sit next to him. Siwon peered at Kyuhyun, noticing that he was still fast asleep before moving to Eunhyuk. He climbed on the bed and sat next to Eunhyuk with his legs stretched out in front of him. He leaned his head onto Eunhyuk’s shoulder. Even though he had total faith in Kyuhyun returning to stage, Siwon did not know if Kyuhyun trusted them well enough to reveal more to them.

“Hyung, do you think Kyuhyun will tell us more?” Eunhyuk looked at Siwon, then back at Kyuhyun.

“I don’t know. I really hope so.”

Both just sat there, watching and hoping that their dongsaeng would open up to them soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kyuhyun woke up the next morning, blinking blearily from sleeping for too long. He rubbed his eyes with his hand, twisting around to face the ceiling. It’s been a long time since I’ve slept for so long. Kyuhyun had not felt so rested for a long time. Ever since Jong-hyung died. Kyuhyun smiled sadly to himself, remembering the happy times with Jong Ki.

The box! Kyuhyun snapped his head sharply to the side. The last he remembered of the box was that he had fallen asleep with its contents spread out on his bed. Where is it? Where is it? Is it here? Or back at my room? Kyuhyun panicked. That was the only thing he had of Jong Ki. And the only reason he still had it was because his mother didn’t know about it.

He tried to push himself up, but his injured hand was unable to take the weight. Where’s Eunhyuk-hyung? And Siwon-hyung? They promised to be here. Why did I hope for anything?  Kyuhyun was starting to hyperventilate both from his panic as well as fear. Hyung.

“Kyuhyun!” Kyuhyun jerked a little. That was his only reaction. He vaguely felt someone’s hands snake around him, which made him panic even more. Who’s that?

“Breathe, Kyu.” Kyuhyun felt himself being pressed against a toned chest. He tried to struggle but the arms only tightened.

“It’s Hankyung.” Kyuhyun stopped his struggles. Hankyung-hyung?

“Follow my movement Kyu. Breathe in. And out. Deep breath.” Kyuhyun mimicked the action, taking deep breaths trying to calm himself down.

“That’s good. You’re doing fine. A couple more.” Hankyung’s voice echoed in his ears. Slowly the mist cleared in Kyuhyun’s head.

He saw a person’s face in front of him. Kangin-hyung. Kyuhyun immediately pressed closer into Hankyung’s chest, trying to make a wider gap between him and Kangin.

“Kyu? What’s wrong?” Hankyung asked, worried that Kyuhyun was not feeling well.

Kyuhyun shook his head, though he leaned further into Hankyung, trying to bury into Hankyung’s arms.

“Kyuhyun…” Kangin said, reaching a hand out. He stopped when he noticed that Kyuhyun was trembling slightly and looking at him with fear in his eyes. Kangin let his hand drop to his side, backing away.

“Kangin? What are you doing?” Hankyung asked, curious. Being behind Kyuhyun, he did not manage to catch Kyuhyun’s emotions in his eyes though he felt the shivers in Kyuhyun, but he did catch Kangin’s. A flash of hurt appeared and disappeared so quickly that Hankyung thought that it was a figment of his imagination.

“Nothing. I just remembered that I needed to do something. Hyung I’ll leave it up to you then.”

Kangin escaped from the room, not wanting either of them to know that he was hurt by Kyuhyun’s actions. Kangin understood to a certain extent why Kyuhyun reacted the way he did that night. Kangin would be surprised if Kyuhyun did not react that way. But he did not expect Kyuhyun to still be afraid of him. It hurt to know that his dongsaeng was afraid of him. However it hurt more to Kangin that Kyuhyun dreamed that Kangin said those words. Do I seem that way to him all the time? So mean and demanding and, and… Kangin did not know anymore. He sat on the sofa, his head buried in his hands.

When Kangin left the room, Kyuhyun slowly extracted himself from Hankyung’s grip.

“Thank you Hyung.” Kyuhyun whispered, choosing to lean against the wall, instead of Hankyung.

Kyuhyun felt disgusted with himself. Why did you shrink away from Kangin-hyung? You hurt him with that action. Hankyung looked at Kyuhyun, seeing the internal turmoil written all over Kyuhyun’s face.

“Kyu, why did you back away from Kangin?” Hankyung decided to be direct. It was one of the ways where Kyuhyun would most likely say something about his problems. Kyuhyun looked up at Hankyung, wondering whether to tell Hankyung or not.

“Is it regarding the nightmare you had that day?” Kyuhyun nodded, willing to attempt to confide in Hankyung, though she refused to say a word.

“Is it about what Kangin said in your dream?” Hankyung hit the target again. Kyuhyun nodded, hugging onto the elephant as if Hankyung would take it back whenever he wanted. Hankyung felt like sighing, but didn’t.

“Kyu, listen to me. The dream was an imagination, even if there are people you know in it. Dreams are imagination. But sometimes, dreams become reality. What is reality? I don’t know. But I know that everyone’s reality is different. Reality is what you wish to believe in. if you believe what was said in your nightmare, it will truly become reality.”

Kyuhyun listened carefully to the words said. Reality is decided by what I choose to believe in. Kyuhyun looked down. It was all a dream. It was only a dream. Kyuhyun tried to convince himself. He felt disgusted that his reaction caused Kangin-hyung to be upset. He didn’t mean to hurt Kangin in any way at all.

“Hyung, can I get off bed? I want to find Kangin-hyung and apologise.” Hankyung smiled a little but shook his head.

“You’re not supposed to be walking for today. Doctor’s orders. I’ll go find him. Will you be okay for a while?” Kyuhyun nodded and Hankyung left the room. Hankyung found Kangin sitting on the sofa, looking really upset over the situation.

“Kangin-ah, could you go into the room?” Hankyung said as he sat down nonchalantly next to Kangin. Kangin shook his head.

“I’ll only scare him.”

“He wants to apologise to you.” Kangin’s head snapped up. Apologise?

“What for?”

“I don’t know. I’m just relaying the message.” Hankyung stood up, holding a hand out for Kangin.

Kangin was not one who could deny Kyuhyun or Hankyung of their requests and he had to admit that he was curious - upset but curious. Hankyung led Kangin into the room, where Kyuhyun had not shifted from his position. Kyuhyun was trying to think of a way of apologising to Kangin. He was really nervous about it. He tried to have faith in Hankyung’s words and believe in the wonderful time he had with his friends, but Kyuhyun was still afraid, afraid of rejection, afraid that his apologies would be brushed aside like his parents. Hankyung closed the door and stood in front of it, crossing his arms.

Kangin and Kyuhyun stared at each other, none knowing what to say. Then Kyuhyun lowered his head.

“Hyung, I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? Did you do something wrong?” Kyuhyun bit his lips.

“I’m sorry I shrunk away from you. I’m sorry that I made you upset. I’m sorry. Really I am.” Kyuhyun said slightly louder.

“You didn’t do anything wrong Kyu. You don’t need to apologise to me.” Kangin moved closer to Kyuhyun, but at a much slower pace, not wanting to scare him.

“It’s regarding the nightmare you had right? Can you tell me exactly what happened?” Kangin asked. Kyuhyun looked at Kangin. Why does he want to know? Kyuhyun was shocked that Kangin actually wanted to know about his dream. Kyuhyun had never told anyone about his nightmares before except that night he was groggy from sleep. Kyuhyun played with his fingers.

“You, no, Dream-Kangin said that “There is no need for a thirteenth member.”

“What?” The exclamation came from both Hankyung and Kangin. Kyuhyun immediately look back down, not wanting to face the emotions swirling through his hyungs’ eyes.

“Kyu” A warm hand held his hand.

“I’m sorry I said that in your dream. I’m sorry that we didn’t get to cut the cake together.” Kyuhyun wanted to protest that it was not Kangin’s fault. But he was cut off.

“Listen to me Kyu. There is a need for a thirteenth member. Why, you wonder. Because Super Junior is thirteen people, and without any one of us, we would not be complete.” Kyuhyun looked at Kangin, with a conflicting look. He wanted to believe in the words - it made him really happy - but when he was young he had various people who have said such wonderful things only to turn out to be a lie.

Kyuhyun could not bring himself to trust the worlds completely. Hankyung walked up.

“Kyu, it’s true. All of us believe in that statement. Missing on piece the puzzle will never be complete.” Kyuhyun nodded cautiously.

“I’ll try my best.” Kyuhyun whispered to himself, promising to start learning to trust others words. The four softly-spoken words were heard by the other two. It was all they could hope for now. They sat in silence, each basking in the presence of others. Then someone spoke up.

“Can I eat with the rest for dinner later?”

its a bit shorter again.hope that the characters are fine. not berysure what my brain was thinking as i wrote this.>,<
hope u enjoy it.

fic:family arc ii, fic:super junior

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