=)
-=News Flash: Women are always right.
Here's what I don't get. Women are always asking for honesty, and how men shouldn't lie, and that trust is the key to a good relationship. Little did I know that all of that are nothing more than a lie and a half. I fear all the protected classes that I go after, but none more than women. Because if you say anything truthful but unflattering about a woman or women in general, that's a political statement. And they will play the be grieved minority card faster than you can say Johnny Cochran, which is ironic because they can say anything about us men and we just take it.
I mean, look at the words they use about us… dog, pig, snake, rat, lizard. And we're just like, you know, "uh alright, we're idiots, okay, we're sorry."
But question anything about a woman, oh boy. Try telling women that they're the only people who are still attracted with shiny objects, diamonds, and they're going to attack you like a starving Ethiopian kid. Women think of diamond like men think about sex, like ticks think about blood.
Now, I know that it's the national law here in America that women are more evolved than men. But if that's true, then how come they're still so impressed by shiny objects? I'm just asking. Please, it's not anti-woman just to talk about women, okay? And we're going to do it now. I've only been living in this country for about five years now, and I've made a lot of interesting observations. Over the years, I've noticed that feminine values are now the values of America.
Sensitivity is more important than truth.
Feelings are more important than fact.
Commitment is more important than individuality.
Children are more important than people.
Safety is more important than fun.
I always hear women say, "Men in relationships live longer." Uhh, yes, and an indoor cat… also lives longer. It's a fur ball with a broken spirit that can only look out on a world it will never enjoy. But yes, it does technically live longer.
Now, don't get me wrong. I know that women don't have it easy here in America, but it is sort of politically incorrect just to be male in today's society. Just look at any TV sitcom today. The scenarios are always the same. The wife is always brilliant and ethereal and right about everything, and the husband is always a dumb fuck lucky to have found her.
So, I understand that women suffer, but I don't think it's as much publicized that a lot of men in America are living lives of quiet desperation, lobotomized of their libido, anaesthetizing themselves with sports and pornography, and living in an Orwellian world where we have to pretend to concur with the woman's point of view.
On any TV show here in America, if someone got up there and said "you know, women are smarter than men", you get an automatic round of applause. But if you said, "men are smarter than women", you'd be booed off the stage. What does that tell you about our culture, that we have to pretend that one sex is smarter than the other?
"Women are smarter than men"… automatic clap.
"If women ran the world, there would be no wars"… automatic clap.
"Being pregnant is sexy!"… automatic clap.
There is a whole roster of things that we don't really believe, but we pretend to believe, because it's easier to make women nod than to live in the doghouse. And don't you just love it when women say, "couples should explore their mutual fantasies and interests"? When I heard this, I almost died laughing, because really, there are no such things as mutual fantasies. Here's the bottom line, ladies. Yours bore us, and ours offend you. End of story.
I do believe that men are just tired of apologizing for being men, and I think women would be a lot happier if you'd stop making us apologize for it. You would save yourselves a lot of wear and tear, for starters. For one thing, to give you one example, no woman here in America would ever get breast implants, because if you really got inside the man's mind, you'd understand that it's never about big or little, short or tall, or blonde or brunette. It's only, and only, about old and new. That's it.
Another thing, you cannot reform biology, ladies. You just can't. And by the way, the male impetus to spread our seed is why we're such successful species. It's why we're sitting right here right now. But do we get thanks for it? No, we get no action for a month for stating the facts. If you’re a president, you get impeached. Women only love facts if it favors them. Once you start stating facts against them… you're automatically a bad guy.
And you watch, ladies and gentlemen, after posting this entry, all the women who read this would attack me on how big of a sexist I am and how I denigrate women. By the way, I'm not denigrating the women. I'm denigrating their twisted, crooked, messed-up, romance-novel-influenced mentality that drives today’s society into complete oblivion about the important things in life.
I know, I know. Love is the one place where people say there shouldn't be any cynicism, but I beg to differ. The truth is you need it there, because nothing hurts more than putting your faith in fairy tales. You know, the problem in movies is not violence; it's romance. I'm not kidding, because what's every movie with a romantic plot?
Guy meets a girl… she hates him, but he's going to get her… no matter what. Well, in real life that's called stalking, and it doesn't quite work. Trust me, I've tried it. If somebody hates you right away, then they're probably going to hate you regardless of all the efforts that you put in. That’s just reality, and I think it’s about time for all of us to start being realists. Don't ever try, in real life, the old interrupt-the-wedding thing, because chances are, there’s going to be someone at the wedding who’s a member of the NRA, and you're probably going to get shot.
Let me give you the step one to success, ladies. Take out your "The Notebook" DVDs, pour gasoline on them, and light it on fire. Don't believe the bullshit. There’s nothing wrong in having a little spice in life and believing in fantasies. But when it comes to the point that you live your life based on that fantasy, that’s when it becomes a problem. Welcome to the 21st century, where everyone is now a realist.
Join the club.
"Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash… they're gone."
The choice is yours.
Men are only as loyal as their options.
Here's what I don't get. Women are always asking for honesty, and how men shouldn't lie, and that trust is the key to a good relationship. Little did I know that all of that are nothing more than a lie and a half. I fear all the protected classes that I go after, but none more than women. Because if you say anything truthful but unflattering about a woman or women in general, that's a political statement. And they will play the be grieved minority card faster than you can say Johnny Cochran, which is ironic because they can say anything about us men and we just take it.
I mean, look at the words they use about us… dog, pig, snake, rat, lizard. And we're just like, you know, "uh alright, we're idiots, okay, we're sorry."
But question anything about a woman, oh boy. Try telling women that they're the only people who are still attracted with shiny objects, diamonds, and they're going to attack you like a starving Ethiopian kid. Women think of diamond like men think about sex, like ticks think about blood.
Now, I know that it's the national law here in America that women are more evolved than men. But if that's true, then how come they're still so impressed by shiny objects? I'm just asking. Please, it's not anti-woman just to talk about women, okay? And we're going to do it now. I've only been living in this country for about five years now, and I've made a lot of interesting observations. Over the years, I've noticed that feminine values are now the values of America.
Sensitivity is more important than truth.
Feelings are more important than fact.
Commitment is more important than individuality.
Children are more important than people.
Safety is more important than fun.
I always hear women say, "Men in relationships live longer." Uhh, yes, and an indoor cat… also lives longer. It's a fur ball with a broken spirit that can only look out on a world it will never enjoy. But yes, it does technically live longer.
Now, don't get me wrong. I know that women don't have it easy here in America, but it is sort of politically incorrect just to be male in today's society. Just look at any TV sitcom today. The scenarios are always the same. The wife is always brilliant and ethereal and right about everything, and the husband is always a dumb fuck lucky to have found her.
So, I understand that women suffer, but I don't think it's as much publicized that a lot of men in America are living lives of quiet desperation, lobotomized of their libido, anaesthetizing themselves with sports and pornography, and living in an Orwellian world where we have to pretend to concur with the woman's point of view.
On any TV show here in America, if someone got up there and said "you know, women are smarter than men", you get an automatic round of applause. But if you said, "men are smarter than women", you'd be booed off the stage. What does that tell you about our culture, that we have to pretend that one sex is smarter than the other?
"Women are smarter than men"… automatic clap.
"If women ran the world, there would be no wars"… automatic clap.
"Being pregnant is sexy!"… automatic clap.
There is a whole roster of things that we don't really believe, but we pretend to believe, because it's easier to make women nod than to live in the doghouse. And don't you just love it when women say, "couples should explore their mutual fantasies and interests"? When I heard this, I almost died laughing, because really, there are no such things as mutual fantasies. Here's the bottom line, ladies. Yours bore us, and ours offend you. End of story.
I do believe that men are just tired of apologizing for being men, and I think women would be a lot happier if you'd stop making us apologize for it. You would save yourselves a lot of wear and tear, for starters. For one thing, to give you one example, no woman here in America would ever get breast implants, because if you really got inside the man's mind, you'd understand that it's never about big or little, short or tall, or blonde or brunette. It's only, and only, about old and new. That's it.
Another thing, you cannot reform biology, ladies. You just can't. And by the way, the male impetus to spread our seed is why we're such successful species. It's why we're sitting right here right now. But do we get thanks for it? No, we get no action for a month for stating the facts. If you’re a president, you get impeached. Women only love facts if it favors them. Once you start stating facts against them… you're automatically a bad guy.
And you watch, ladies and gentlemen, after posting this entry, all the women who read this would attack me on how big of a sexist I am and how I denigrate women. By the way, I'm not denigrating the women. I'm denigrating their twisted, crooked, messed-up, romance-novel-influenced mentality that drives today’s society into complete oblivion about the important things in life.
I know, I know. Love is the one place where people say there shouldn't be any cynicism, but I beg to differ. The truth is you need it there, because nothing hurts more than putting your faith in fairy tales. You know, the problem in movies is not violence; it's romance. I'm not kidding, because what's every movie with a romantic plot?
Guy meets a girl… she hates him, but he's going to get her… no matter what. Well, in real life that's called stalking, and it doesn't quite work. Trust me, I've tried it. If somebody hates you right away, then they're probably going to hate you regardless of all the efforts that you put in. That’s just reality, and I think it’s about time for all of us to start being realists. Don't ever try, in real life, the old interrupt-the-wedding thing, because chances are, there’s going to be someone at the wedding who’s a member of the NRA, and you're probably going to get shot.
Let me give you the step one to success, ladies. Take out your "The Notebook" DVDs, pour gasoline on them, and light it on fire. Don't believe the bullshit. There’s nothing wrong in having a little spice in life and believing in fantasies. But when it comes to the point that you live your life based on that fantasy, that’s when it becomes a problem. Welcome to the 21st century, where everyone is now a realist.
Join the club.
"Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash… they're gone."
The choice is yours.
Men are only as loyal as their options.