LIFE: My old feeling as a SixTONES fan is back in a new form
Hello~
I decided to write an entry about my current feelings as a fan etc...coz there might be someone who is also on the same both as me plus I wanna treasure this moment
Just one thing, I am so happy and grateful with everything that SixTONES is receiving right now.
Last year, the group that I have been stanning the longest until now debuted. Like, FINALLY!!
Everything is new since it is the first ever debuted group that I am stanning (even though they're not the first group I ever followed, they're the first group that I can really call myself a fan).
They now often appear in different variety shows, radio shows, music shows, magazines, etc.
They also gained a lot of new fans (yey) 😊
But, for someone who ain't used to stanning a debuted group (aka me), I was soooo overwhelmed!!
At first, I tried to ride with the wave...then eventually, I got tired (as expected).
There was this sooooo much "self-made" pressure as a fan that made me tired and I lost the excitement and fun in following my idols.
I even questioned myself if I am still a fan or I just want to end everything 🤪 but *ehem* taiga, or just create a new account or anything just to escape from my self-made pressure.
So I do logout my public account for days etc once (or whenever I feel to) every month coz idk but because of that self-made pressure, everything just tired me out (which is an opposite of what I should feel towards the idols and their activities).
Also, this self-made pressure made me soooooooo conscious of what I tweet etc. Like I can't make a mistake or I should give my feedback to this etc., or I haven't watched this oh no I'm such a bad fan etc. 🤯🤯🤯
It is such a sad and asfghl feeling when you suddenly lose the feeling of happiness and excitement towards someone who you used to feel those from (in terms of idol world lol)
But, I talked to a friend months ago, and she told me something (w/c i wanna keep as a secret between the two of us) that really left an impression to me and I honestly kept thinking of that up to this day. I think that helped me find my old feels back 😊 Not all of a sudden...but slowly 😊
I slowly learned and accepted that:
- I don't have to be the most updated fan out there (fangirl at your own pace)
- I don't owe anyone anything (answers, explanations) *I'm sorry if this may sound rude but there are some ppl who ask you as if you work under the customer service section of their idols T.T*
- It's okay to be an introvert and stay introvert, I don't have to be the friendliest fan out there (you do you) *as an introvert, I really need to exert an energy in replying etc, note: replies and such aren't a bother to me, I like reading replies and thankful for those...again...it's just me who is an introvert so I reply super slow 🙈 I don't hate u, I'm just so slow in replying)
- It's okay to not know everything and it's totally ok to make a mistake and humbly accept that I did a mistake and correct it
- It's okay to not care over everything
- The pressure I am feeling is just coming from myself (no one is expecting me to do this and that etc)
- There is no set of standards in fangirling, no requirements, and no validations. As long as I respect everyone one, then I'm fine.
Now, I'm glad that the excitement and fun is slowing coming back...in a new form...in a form in which I know what I want, I know my limits, and I know how to truly enjoy things.
This entry is so all over the place (like my brain) 🙇♀️ Also, it's kinda weird that I am making a fuse over my "fangirl" feelings, but feelings are feelings so don't invalidate them LOL
Ok idk if I made sense but thank you for reading 😊
I decided to write an entry about my current feelings as a fan etc...coz there might be someone who is also on the same both as me plus I wanna treasure this moment
Just one thing, I am so happy and grateful with everything that SixTONES is receiving right now.
Last year, the group that I have been stanning the longest until now debuted. Like, FINALLY!!
Everything is new since it is the first ever debuted group that I am stanning (even though they're not the first group I ever followed, they're the first group that I can really call myself a fan).
They now often appear in different variety shows, radio shows, music shows, magazines, etc.
They also gained a lot of new fans (yey) 😊
But, for someone who ain't used to stanning a debuted group (aka me), I was soooo overwhelmed!!
At first, I tried to ride with the wave...then eventually, I got tired (as expected).
There was this sooooo much "self-made" pressure as a fan that made me tired and I lost the excitement and fun in following my idols.
I even questioned myself if I am still a fan or I just want to end everything 🤪 but *ehem* taiga, or just create a new account or anything just to escape from my self-made pressure.
So I do logout my public account for days etc once (or whenever I feel to) every month coz idk but because of that self-made pressure, everything just tired me out (which is an opposite of what I should feel towards the idols and their activities).
Also, this self-made pressure made me soooooooo conscious of what I tweet etc. Like I can't make a mistake or I should give my feedback to this etc., or I haven't watched this oh no I'm such a bad fan etc. 🤯🤯🤯
It is such a sad and asfghl feeling when you suddenly lose the feeling of happiness and excitement towards someone who you used to feel those from (in terms of idol world lol)
But, I talked to a friend months ago, and she told me something (w/c i wanna keep as a secret between the two of us) that really left an impression to me and I honestly kept thinking of that up to this day. I think that helped me find my old feels back 😊 Not all of a sudden...but slowly 😊
I slowly learned and accepted that:
- I don't have to be the most updated fan out there (fangirl at your own pace)
- I don't owe anyone anything (answers, explanations) *I'm sorry if this may sound rude but there are some ppl who ask you as if you work under the customer service section of their idols T.T*
- It's okay to be an introvert and stay introvert, I don't have to be the friendliest fan out there (you do you) *as an introvert, I really need to exert an energy in replying etc, note: replies and such aren't a bother to me, I like reading replies and thankful for those...again...it's just me who is an introvert so I reply super slow 🙈 I don't hate u, I'm just so slow in replying)
- It's okay to not know everything and it's totally ok to make a mistake and humbly accept that I did a mistake and correct it
- It's okay to not care over everything
- The pressure I am feeling is just coming from myself (no one is expecting me to do this and that etc)
- There is no set of standards in fangirling, no requirements, and no validations. As long as I respect everyone one, then I'm fine.
Now, I'm glad that the excitement and fun is slowing coming back...in a new form...in a form in which I know what I want, I know my limits, and I know how to truly enjoy things.
This entry is so all over the place (like my brain) 🙇♀️ Also, it's kinda weird that I am making a fuse over my "fangirl" feelings, but feelings are feelings so don't invalidate them LOL
Ok idk if I made sense but thank you for reading 😊