breathe in, breathe out.
Title: Worth
Pairing: Junseung
Rating: PG
Genre: Fluff
Summary: Only recently has Kikwang and Hyunseung been treating each other differently. The skin ship and playfulness grew between them until they became official. Well, only to the members, of course.
At first, he was far from pleased at this but as time ticked by, Junhyung realized he couldn’t make someone love him, no matter what he does.
Notes: My first Junseung fan fic. Please don't bite me. >.<
“How shitty can this get?” Junhyung cursed paper that he held up to his face. Recently, his writing skills have been dulled by sleepless nights. He hasn’t been thinking clearly enough to write a decent set of rap lyrics. He crumpled the paper, tossing it over to the trash bin. It hit the bin’s rim, and fell to the floor.
Junhyung rolled his eyes and lifted himself up from his desk, sluggishly walking towards the trash bin which had been filled to the top with paper. He raised a brow and groaned, he hated taking out the trash, but he did so anyway.
He trudged out of his room and strolled down the dark hallway. It was around three in the morning, most of the members would be asleep by then. His ears perked up to the sound of sniffing.
“Eh?”
He turned to the side, peering into the door which was ajar. A small figure was curled up into in front of the TV screen. Junhyung cocked his head to the side, “What in the world is he doing up this late?”
He appeared to be Hyunseung. Usually, this boy didn’t watch so much TV which prodded at Junhyung’s curiosity.
He was about to tell the elder male to go to sleep when he realized that Hyunseung was actually crying. Well, by the sound of his hiccups and sniffs, Junhyung assumed he was. He adjusted his angle to better see the TV screen, immediately catching a glimpse of G-Dragon and someone else who seemed to be a younger Hyunseung.
He dropped his trash bag quietly beside him, shaking his head when he found out what Hyunseung was watching.
Big Bang’s documentary had been re-running for the past few days. Junhyung would know. He always stayed up this late.
The rapper’s eyes narrowed and slipped into the room discreetly. He stopped in his tracks when Hyunseung started sobbing a little louder this time. His eyes fixed back onto the TV,
Hyunseung had been eliminated from Big Bang.
His gaze switched from the TV to the boy, who was now shuddering as he held himself. Junhyung’s heart fell at the most pitiful sight, his mouth started to form a frown. He continued into the room, brushing past Hyunseung who jerked his head up to see the rapper.
“Junnie-“
Junhyung reached down to press the switch on the TV, and the screen went blank. He sighed before turning to Hyunseung, he was falling apart inside just seeing the eyes of the boy below him.
“I-I…”
“You shouldn’t be watching this.” Junhyung said bluntly.
Hyunseung’s head lowered, “I c-couldn’t help it.” He hiccupped into his words, not bothering to make eye contact with the younger male. He gasped softly, feeling strong arms pull him up to his feet.
The rapper pulled him into a tight, assuring hug, running his hands up and down the elder male’s back. “Seung-ah…” Junhyung hushed him, “We have a schedule tomorrow. You should be asleep.”
Hyunseung wanted to think nothing of Junhyung’s concern, or the fact that their bodies were tightly pressed against each other. He nodded obediently, his head still wasn’t clear from the fact that he’s been watching his failure over again.
“Come on,” Junhyung pulled away, “Let’s get you to bed…”
Hyunseung kept his mouth shut as they both exited the room. Junhyung felt most awkward at the silence between them, he couldn’t care less. He was concerned about the boy, he definitely couldn’t help himself.
Those eyes, his complexion, those lips… it just pulled at his heart strings.
---
Hyunseung barged into the room bawling loudly, his eyes were blood shot which gave Junhyung quite a shock. The older male crumpled into the rapper’s arms.
Junhyung hesitated before actually patting at Hyunseung’s back, squeezing reassuringly at the other's shoulders.
“I’ve been scolded again…” Hyunseung whispered weakly into the material of Junhyung’s clothing. Usually, he would be sensitive about getting his clothes wet or wrinkled, but it was a different case this time.
“By the president.” The elder continued, trembling like a wet puppy in Junhyung’s hold.
The one above could only sigh, “Calm down.” He whispered tenderly. Truth be told, Junhyung’s voice sent shivers down Hyunseung’s spine, but he couldn’t concentrate on that right now. He could still feel the heat in his cheeks from utter embarrassment,
“In front of the staff, he scolded me… right in front of them!” Hyunseung explained, looking up at Junhyung with tear stained cheeks. The rapper reached down, wiping the other man’s face with his thumb. A thought had suddenly come across his mind,
“I know!” Junhyung snapped his fingers enthusiastically, contrasting to the already imbalanced emotions in the room.
Hyunseung looked up at him, completely confused. How could he possibly put on that kind of face at this time?
Junhyung smiled down at Hyunseung with a look that could only mean something good,
“Let’s go out for some ice cream, ne?”
Hyunseung blinked twice before reluctantly nodding. “E-Eung. Good idea.”
It was unexpected, but it made Hyunseung smile which greatly warmed Junhyung’s heart to see.
“That’s it.” He nodded, whispering out his thoughts as they both got to their feet to dress up.
--
Junhyung was in the kitchen, about to get a midnight snack when something moved from behind the dinner table. He whirled around, scanning the surroundings nervously before his eyes found a figure who was asleep while seated on the dining chair.
Well, he thought it was asleep when the figure’s upper body suddenly lifted from the table. He squinted his eyes, trying to make out who the hell was creeping at him at this hour.
“Hyungseungie?” He called out. Sure enough, the figure responded with a sigh.
“Hi, Junnie.”
He knew it.
The rapper switched the lights open, and the eerie feeling in the room quickly vanished. His eyes caught sight of Hyunseung’s eyelids, they were swollen.
Again.
Junhyung quickly moved to sit beside Hyunseung, shaking him and asking him what happened over and over again. Hyunseung refused to tell him until about thirty minutes later.
“I miss…my parents.” He said, coming out with it directly.
“Aish! You shouldn’t have made me beg for you to say it…” Junhyung scratched his head in irritation, “That’s pretty normal, I mean… for someone like you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you kidding me? Don’t you know how sensitive you are?”
“How dare yo-ow!”
Junhyung had struck Hyunseung playfully on the shoulder. That boy was like porcelain, pretty and fragile.
“See?”
Hyunseung managed a giggle,
“Well, I guess you’re right.”
--
Only recently has Kikwang and Hyunseung been treating each other differently. The skin ship and playfulness grew between them until they became official. Well, only to the members, of course.
At first, he was far from pleased at this but as time ticked by, Junhyung realized he couldn’t make someone love him, no matter what he does.
Hyunseung had been coming into Junhyung’s room to complain about their love problems, acting as if the rapper was a counselor. Junhyung didn’t like the stories Hyunseung told, it made him have this secret grudge for the actor, but he couldn’t show that, could he?
Everything seemed to be going normal for the pair until one night, Hyunseung busted into Junhyung’s room once again, only this time, in a crying fit.
“He left me!” He yelled out, dropping to his knees in front of Junhyung. The rapper would have set out to hunt for Kikwang if he didn’t know any better, “Seung-ah…”
“I can’t believe this! He told me he loved me! He told me he loved me!”
The poor boy would believe anything he was told, actually. This didn’t come to Junhyung as a surprise, he knew Hyunseung like the back of his palm.
Junhyung really grew tired of Hyunseung’s tears. There isn’t one week where Hyunseung
didn’t have his eyes swollen. The thought of it really got onto Junhyung’s nerves.
“Don’t you get tired of this?”
“H-Huh?” Hyunseung’s eyes left the ground and he found himself staring into Junhyung’s eyes, he was completely immersed in them.
“Don’t you know how to do anything else but cry?” Junhyung didn’t mean it as an insult, no matter how much it came out like it. He wanted Hyunseung to be anything but depressed.
“I told you that Kikwang was a bad choice. And still, you were too stubborn to listen to me.” Junhyung couldn’t believe he was actually saying this.
Hyunseung felt betrayed, somehow hurt. His gaze left Junhyung, his head was now turned to the side with no ounce of emotion in his face.
Hyunseung was suddenly wrapped in warmth as Junhyung’s arms engulfed him into an embrace. His mouth slowly gaped open, and his arms involuntarily reached up to clutch Junhyung’s sleeve.
“Why are you…like this?”
He couldn’t take it anymore. Junhyung’s heart could shatter into a million tiny pieces if he didn’t’ say this now. The rapper bit down hard on his lip, he could feel the pressure climbing up to his eyes. He couldn’t help it, he couldn’t hide the sadness that piled up in his chest. Hyunseung’s depression was his own even if he didn’t show it, he couldn’t, not at those times.
“In the many hours we spend together…” Junhyung’s lips brushed against the skin of Hyunseung’s ears, making him shiver in his place,
“I’ve only really seen you happy a handful of times.” The rapper’s grip tightened around the elder male as they sat together on the surface of the dorm floor.
Hyunseung could do nothing but sit there, listening. His heart pounded against his chest, its pace rapidly increasing as soon as he felt Junhyung’s heart do the same.
“I guess…” Junhyung started to sniff which sent Hyunseung’s eyes to slowly widen, “I guess… he couldn’t see your true worth.”
The rapper’s teeth clamped down hard on his inner cheek, enough for it to turn red and swollen. He tried his hardest to keep it together and he fought to keep his tears to himself.
He lost.
“Because… I’m sure you mean more to me…than you do to him.” Junhyung’s tears came streaming down the side of his face as he held onto Hyunseung for dear life, refusing to create any sort of gap between them.
Hyunseung’s facial feature softened and he eased into the rapper. “It’s okay…” He whispered back into the rapper’s ear, glad he’s heard what he’s been longing to hear all this time.
“He obviously didn’t care about you, S-Seung-ah.” Junhyung sobbed, “I’m glad he left you!”
There, he said it.
“You’re worth more than you know… to me.” Junhyung spilled out everything that came across his mind and Hyunseung was just too thankful that he decided to come out with it. Honestly, he felt the exact same way.
“You won’t waste my love, right, Junnie?” It seems like they’ve switched emotions in a time span of ten minutes. Junhyung nodded into the other’s shoulder, “I love you.” Junhyung said in a whispering tone, pulling away slightly.
“I said it. Saranghae, Jang Hyunseung. S-Saranghae…” Junhyung’s tear-lined eyes glinted against the light as he stared intently into the other’s. Hyunseung’s heart was overwhelmed by the confession and couldn’t help but muster a huge grin which didn’t leave his lips.
“I love you too, Junnie. I-“
Junhyung didn’t let Hyunseung finish, he lifted the other’s chin, pressing his rough lips against the other’s impatiently. The elder male could only comply with the rapper’s wishes and coaxed his lips apart, giving Junhyung the chance to do whatever he wanted with the boy.
The other leaned in hungrily. What Junhyung wanted for so long was now his and he didn’t want to waste the moments,
They both pulled back, their chests heaving up and down as they panted softly, catching each other’s gazes, they smiled.
And the light filled Hyunseung’s eyes, it was the only time his grin reached from ear to ear. Junhyung noticed the gradual change immediately, heart just told him that there was something different about the look in Hyunseung’s face.
And for the first time in a long while...
He was sincerely happy.