Sick Of This World
I'm so fucking sick of everything right now. Guys, my job, school. Everything. I'm sick of people blaming me for things that I can't control. I'm sick of myself and the things that I do. I hate myself more than anything in this world. I can't keep doing the immature, stupid things that I have been. I can't keep lying to myself and lying to others. And I can't keep putting myself out there so other people can take advantage of me. I hate fighting. I hate being frustrated. And I hate not knowing where things are going to go. I wish I could predict the future, not for my sake, but for those people who I care about most. But I can't do that. I'm sorry that God didn't give me the power to see things the way most people see them. I'm sorry I'm selfish and stupid and immature. I'm sorry that I'm so different from the normal human being. I'm sorry I can't control my feelings and what I say half of the time. I'm fucking sorry. Jesus Christ I hate myself. Whenever I say something, people automatically think it's sarcastic. No matter what I say, it's sarcastic. That makes me so angry. Yes, I am sarcastic, but not all the time. I know how to be serious. Everything that comes out of my mouth is taken in the wrong way. Maybe I'll just not talk anymore. That would probably be the best thing to do. Fuck I don't even know what I'm talking about. Everything is so messed up and I have no idea how to fix any of it. And the bad thing is...I did it all to myself. I'm fucking stupid.