(no subject)
oh my.. zach's mom is so awesome! she told zach to tell me last night/this morning that if i ever needed somewhere to stay, even if zach wasn't there, that i could always stay at her house. wow! how sweet is that? i wish i wasn't shy around her anymore. she really has to be the best boyfriend's mom ever. plus i love the kitties.. jupiter and tats.. silly cats.
in other things.. i'm really really sorry to everyone for messing everything up last night. i'm sorry for crying so much and not being able to stop. i tried telling you >_> i'm such a.. loser, or something. it just hurts a lot and it was really hard to do anything that made me open up to how it felt in the first place. basically, i'm scared of everything that has to do with it now.. like how i was soo scared of my dad for a really long time cause the instant i did anything wrong, out came the belt and the beatings. i think getting yelled at, so especially what happened, just brings me back to that situation. at least, that's what zach and i discussed when i got all scared and freaked out when i thought he had yelled at me once. either way, i get the same feelings as i did back then. eh.
i'm sorry.
in other things.. i'm really really sorry to everyone for messing everything up last night. i'm sorry for crying so much and not being able to stop. i tried telling you >_> i'm such a.. loser, or something. it just hurts a lot and it was really hard to do anything that made me open up to how it felt in the first place. basically, i'm scared of everything that has to do with it now.. like how i was soo scared of my dad for a really long time cause the instant i did anything wrong, out came the belt and the beatings. i think getting yelled at, so especially what happened, just brings me back to that situation. at least, that's what zach and i discussed when i got all scared and freaked out when i thought he had yelled at me once. either way, i get the same feelings as i did back then. eh.
i'm sorry.