Wow. Just wow.
The message has been resounding across the status messages of all my chat programs: her name is Sylvia. Many of you have guessed what this means: yes, I now have a girlfriend.
Up until now, I had the impression that I was missing some crucial knowledge. That I was missing the instruction manual, and that if I just knew the facts I'd be able to do what everyone else did. That in order to find love a person had to plan and plot and play the game and change who they were.
Now I know that all of that is wrong.
Why did nobody tell me?!
Things with Sylvia have developed without plotting, without planning, without anybody asking anybody out on a formal date, without knowing what's going to happen beyond a few moments ahead...even without almost any discussion at all. We've talked, but we have said almost nothing about what's going on between us. That's part of why I delayed changing my facebook status, because neither of us has said to the other that we're in a relationship. Still, I don't know what else to call it now.
Every step, from last week when she played with my hair in Sci-Fi club and rested her head on my lap when she grew tired, to this week, cuddling and chatting with friends late into the night after anime club, every step has been the most natural, the most obvious, the most basic and intuitive thing that I have ever done. I still don't know what's going on, don't know the secret of how relationships form...but now I know that I don't need to know. I don't need to know anymore. I can live life, love, without knowing.
Last night, after Sci-Fi club, we kissed each other goodnight. Three weeks ago, I would never have thought that possible.
Why did nobody tell me?
To be fair, many of you actually did tell me, explained that it would happen eventually, that love couldn't be forced or planned. I guess I just had to wait for it to happen for me to actually realize it.
So thank you, world. If you turn out to be a vanishing alternate universe, and I'm still alone and Obama really didn't get elected, I will kick your ass.
Thank you, everyone who believed in me.
And thank you, Sylvia. I'll be saying that a lot in the months to come.
Up until now, I had the impression that I was missing some crucial knowledge. That I was missing the instruction manual, and that if I just knew the facts I'd be able to do what everyone else did. That in order to find love a person had to plan and plot and play the game and change who they were.
Now I know that all of that is wrong.
Why did nobody tell me?!
Things with Sylvia have developed without plotting, without planning, without anybody asking anybody out on a formal date, without knowing what's going to happen beyond a few moments ahead...even without almost any discussion at all. We've talked, but we have said almost nothing about what's going on between us. That's part of why I delayed changing my facebook status, because neither of us has said to the other that we're in a relationship. Still, I don't know what else to call it now.
Every step, from last week when she played with my hair in Sci-Fi club and rested her head on my lap when she grew tired, to this week, cuddling and chatting with friends late into the night after anime club, every step has been the most natural, the most obvious, the most basic and intuitive thing that I have ever done. I still don't know what's going on, don't know the secret of how relationships form...but now I know that I don't need to know. I don't need to know anymore. I can live life, love, without knowing.
Last night, after Sci-Fi club, we kissed each other goodnight. Three weeks ago, I would never have thought that possible.
Why did nobody tell me?
To be fair, many of you actually did tell me, explained that it would happen eventually, that love couldn't be forced or planned. I guess I just had to wait for it to happen for me to actually realize it.
So thank you, world. If you turn out to be a vanishing alternate universe, and I'm still alone and Obama really didn't get elected, I will kick your ass.
Thank you, everyone who believed in me.
And thank you, Sylvia. I'll be saying that a lot in the months to come.