Bleach Pairings/Romance
I've been plotting this for quite some time, and after hauling all the groceries from the car, up the stairs and to the house, I'm pretty pumped to write this... even though my fingers hurt from carrying 2 cases of water.
Anyway, on to the topic. Now with 100% less spell check!
I seem to be one of the very few who actually speaks out on these topics. It's a shame, because I know full well not everyone supports nothing but romance in the bleach fandom. It's stupid.
I'm going to start from the very roots of my hatred, fanfiction.
If you go to fanfiction.net and go to the Bleach section, there is a 95% chance you'll be faced with Romance as the top 5 newly updated stories. go ahead, see for yourself. And what makes it worse, it takes up about 90% of the total Bleach fanfictions there. Even in the search, once you narrow the categories down to no romance, you barely have anything left. And if it isn't labled as romance, chances are it will be replaced with Hurt/Comfort which in itself is like saying Angsty Romance foe the category.
Once again, stupid.
It doesn't help that this counts for every single character in the series. And I mean everyone. Ichigo, Orihime, Byakuya, Yamamoto, Nnoitra, Haribel, Starrk, Hanataro, Yachiru, and dammit even Ashido.
I prefer to stick to those I've already set to my alert list and poke around their favorites and authors. Because the authors I pick out tend to avoid pairings, and in turn avoid reading about them. So it works out most of the time. But... there are still the UlquiHime fics that somehow worm their way in.
(see my first rant for more details)
On that note, the pairings themselves starting with the main stars.
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki
Now, Ichigo is one of those shonen heros that shows no romantic interest in any gender because it's, ya know, a shonen. Orihime is a close friend, Uryuu is a friend but at the same time rival, Chad is like his right hand man, and Rukia is his homie. Never once in the series does he go beyond that. Even though that little scene when Ichigo holds Orihime's hand in Los Noches was total shipping fuel, it still doesn't count towards anything more than friendship.
Bitching fans may scream at me saying "STFU it's just us using our imagination" or "Omg how can u not see tru luurrve <33"
My response?
Do jump off a bridge because you annoy the fuck out of me.
If you want to use your imagination so much, try actually making a story where Ichigo is in character and treats everyone on equal ground. Or is that to hard for your little brain to handle?
True love you say? Once again, jump off a goddamn bridge you annoying little fuck because Bleach is a shonen and romance shouldn't even be in the picture unless it's deemed canon and relevant to the plot. Like Rangiku and Gin, Tousen and that other lady, or Byakuya and Hisana.
SPEAKING OF WHICH!
Byakuya does not love his little adopted sister like that you sick fucks.
First off, him even liking Rukia like that is a bit of an odd twist itself. First, she looks like Hisana. So by him liking her that would mean his feelings arn't even for Rukia, but his dead wife. Second, necrophelia. Hisana's dead. Dead twice even. Third, Rukia is waaaay to young and in turn woudn't insult her brother by thinking in such a way. I admit I don't really find 18+ going with anyone underage, but there's a limit even to that.
Rukia admires him like an idol, and she respects him as much as any girl could respect her brother.
Another thing, Byakuya is cold, calculating, and has a nobel mind. Hell, even if he completely got over Hisana, he wouldn't even consider any woman below his status. Meaning he wouldn't give a single fuck about any woman in the Bleach series so far.
Yoruichi pisses him off. No not a sign of romance of any kind. Soi Fon (I much prefer thet spelling because the official one is ugly) may be cold and calculating as well but she's married to her job. And Yoruichi is the canon apple in her eye. Unohana is like a single mother and romance for her would most likely be kept in the dark. And Byakuya to her is most likely a little boy (with her being so frickin old and her personality to boot). And anyone who suggest Rangiku should be slapped. Hell, Byakuya would slap her and the authoress. Why authoress? Because I know females are the cause of it.
And don't even get me started on Yaoi... that will come later.
Now, back to Rakgiku aka Orihime if she was 100% legal.
The woman had a deep relationship with Gin. Though they weren't openly in one it's obvious she wouldn't deny it now that Gin is dead. And now that Gin is dead, she still wouldn't date any of the men in the S.S. All they do is drool over her, and if anyone even gets close she knocks them right he fuck back.
NO!
Don't even think about saying it.
Hitsugaya is not a candidate. He's a little boy who openly detests being treated like a little kid, especially by her. Even if he grew up for about 100 years, Matsumoto, by that time, most likely would have convinced him to be a bit less hostile. That's about it.
Now onto Hitsugaya.
I'm going to go to FF and copy and paste a romance story from his category. I wont even have to look hard. I can just click his name and put any rating and I swear Tomance will pop up, either with Rangiku or Karin.
(less than a minute later- seriously)
Karin moves to attend high school. She meets the mysterious Toshirou
Hitsugaya, and tries to get trough his personal-barrier to be...friends?
ex-KarinZabimaru KarinHebi HitsuKarin ByaHisa KyoNana and GinMatsu.
Really, really AU. Warnings inside. R&R
What the fuck did I say? It was the first story actually. And might I say, extremely stupid in my opinion. And by some fluke I'm sure the authoress will discover this. Authoress again? Yeah, I just have a feeling a girl wrote it. Now, multiply this by 2000 and now you see why I hate having to look for new fanfictions for Bleach.
And judging from the pairings, I'll move on to more. Oh no, I ain't done yet.
You see, I wrote a fanfiction of my own called Reaction Shot. Basically the characters reactions to finding the abominations on fanfiction. And now I think it's about time I touched on yaoi.
I have no problem with homosexual love. But it's when dipshits write the worst pieces of garbage in existance that it pisses me off.
Mainly the whole seme uke system. I hate it. It makes reading it extremely un-enjoyable. especially for Bleach. Can't 2 guys just have a normal relationship and not act like the 13 year old girls who write it?
Ulquiorra qould never in his life blush furiously. Even in a gigai. Grimmjow would never be caught dead looking lovingly into anyone's eyes. And Ichigo's voice would never mirror that of a girls when confesssing his feelings.
To me, there's gay, and theres Omg stfu you annoying twat.
Gay: Guy somewhat nervously admits his feelings, you know, because being homo isn't all that accepted world wide. Basically stuttering occasionally, looking around, scratching the back of his head, heart beating faster, maybe even talking faster.
Annoying faggot: Ne, Kurosaki-kun. Ai.. aishiteru! Blushing madly, trying to kiss whomever, twidling fingers, crossdressing in lolita fashion.
See my point?
If it ever happens in your area, go to the Gay Pride parade. You can clearly see the diffrent types of gay. Now, the same goes for straight!
There's the 'normal' straight people, and the annoying couples that make out in public that you want to hire a hitman to shoot the man/woman in the head.
Anyway, I'm a strong follower of keeping everyone in character. Including humor. I rarely make exceptions and its usually for another fandom. I even re-write my current works just to keep that in order.
So seeing certain characters paired and written really sends me into pissed off mode. Hence my overwhelming hatred for UlquiHime.
Ah yes, Orihime.
Why the fuck do people keep shipping her with Ulquiorra? In the words of the Angry Video Game Nerd, it makes me want to kill myself.
Did anyone just skip over the episodes where she confesses for Ichigo? Even in recent chapters/episodes, she's seen fantasizing about his bishonen looks. Dont believe me? It's fucking there.
She, in no way, wants Ulquiorra, Chad, Renji, Uryuu, Grimmjow, Aizen, Loly, Byakuya (I checked, its fucking there), or anyone who's NOT Ichigo. Go to fanfiction.net and see for yourself. Just filter Orihime's name. It will read, I shit you not, Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Ichigo, Random character (still Romance), Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra.
I think I'm going to cry from the stupidity of it all.
And to think, all that was just for fanfiction.
Moving on to fan art.
It's just as bad, only you can't fully avoid it. Mainly because I frequent DeviantArt. I'm part of several Bleach clubs, and I'm considering changing my Watch to Journals only.
Every Ulquiorra fan club I've joined is filled to the brim with UlquiHime. It's annoying as hell when I want to just find some decent fan art of the espada. But nope. It's either him and Hime-chan, or him, Hime, and Grimmjow.
Fuck!
Grimmjow has absolutely little to no interest in anyone or anything outside of kicking the living shit out of Ichigo. Orihime was no more than a tool, and not even a valuable one from the way he treated her. And no, returning a favor was not his way of confessing. She helped him out a lot by returning his arm as well as rank. He's like Zaraki, who actually treated Orihime in the same manner.
Basically going "Hey bitch, heal me and get out of my way."
They don't even call Orihime by her last name. They just say 'Onna/Woman/Girl'. I've seen more affection from Mayuri to Nemu.
That aside, the same goes for the other Bleach clubs. I Watch for quality art of the main characters, I get shitty pairings. And not even with pairings that make sense most of the time.
In fact, the only pairings that, if canon, that would make sense are...um...Loly and Menoly.That's it.
The Espada are all insane sociopaths. Szayel acts lusty because his Zanpakuto makes him a sexy man whore, but he'd never love anyone. He;s basically the Marluxia of Bleach. Prove me wrong.
The Captains of the Gotei 13 have no room for it and wouldn't dare date each other. Or any teenage humans. I'd say Isshin was the only exception and even so, found himself a real woman. And he's a bit of an idiot.
And I believe Shunsui just likes to flirt. He reminds me of Ezio from Assasin's Creed. He enjoyed women for being women. And Shunsui flirts with Nanao because he likes to get a cute rise out of her. If she, or even Lisa, broke down and confessed their feelings he'd most likely refuse. Plus he knew Nanao since she was a little girl, and I highly doubt things would go Memoirs of a Geisha style between the two.
Seeing him naked with Nanao is... icky, and it makes me avoid looking into my DevWatch page. The Lutenants, or however you spell it,are a different case.
Renji obviously likes Rukia, but still, Rukia is more of a home girl type of girl. And her feelings went to Kaien. I'll get to him soon. Anyway, I've seen plenty of fan art of them being married.
No.
It makes little to no sense. For Rukia anyways. I highly doubt she'd even marry Kaien if she had the chance. The positions and predicaments for her any character are just so, unlikely. And it alse ends up looking dumb.
Now, of all the couples, the canon shipping fuel for Ichigo and Rukia is extremely high. The Haruka Kanata endings, that one movie, them aleays being together, that scene when she fades from view, it's just there. But the couple itself is just.. blah.
Just like with Hisana, oh boy, isn't it ironic that both Rukia and Byakuya's people of interest died and a doppleganger shows up?
Anyway, just like with Hisana, Kaien has a new twin. Ichigo. And since both Hisana and Kaien are dead, Rukia would only see the past version like Byakuya would.
She wouldn't love Ichigo for Ichigo, she'd only be seeing Kaien and would think of Kaien. She'd try and bring out the Kaien in Ichigo and Ichigo himself would see a comrade acting a bit too romancy for his tastes... now that I think about it, theres a scene i the begining of the series where Ichigo was peeing and the door bust open. The same thing sort of happened to Yoh Asakura in Shaman King, and even Naruto had a few bathroom scenes... is that just a common thing in Shonen Jump?
Anyway, that's all I - nevermind, the thought just came to me. Lemons.
Lemons, lemons, lemons. I don't have a single fucking clue why they're named after the fruit but they make me cringe... maybe that's why.
Occasionally with fan art, a fanfiction follows. Just what brought you to the conclusion that Ulquiorra would ever want to fuck Orihime? any why she would be willing?
If anything, I'd expect him to rape her in order to see what her reaction would be. It's just... ugh. Why?
You know what Orihime has? Stockholm Syndrome.
Here's a definition:Stockholm syndrome
noun Psychiatry .
an emotional attachment to a captor formed by a hostage as a result of continuous stress, dependence, and a need to cooperate for survival.
She obviously went through each of these. So there ya go. And mind you, this isn't normal. It's not good either to develop it. Orihime has a mental problem. Thank goodness I paid attention in Psychology to remember such a thing.
That's it, that's all for now. I'm sure I'll be entering more bitching fits in the future.
Anyway, on to the topic. Now with 100% less spell check!
I seem to be one of the very few who actually speaks out on these topics. It's a shame, because I know full well not everyone supports nothing but romance in the bleach fandom. It's stupid.
I'm going to start from the very roots of my hatred, fanfiction.
If you go to fanfiction.net and go to the Bleach section, there is a 95% chance you'll be faced with Romance as the top 5 newly updated stories. go ahead, see for yourself. And what makes it worse, it takes up about 90% of the total Bleach fanfictions there. Even in the search, once you narrow the categories down to no romance, you barely have anything left. And if it isn't labled as romance, chances are it will be replaced with Hurt/Comfort which in itself is like saying Angsty Romance foe the category.
Once again, stupid.
It doesn't help that this counts for every single character in the series. And I mean everyone. Ichigo, Orihime, Byakuya, Yamamoto, Nnoitra, Haribel, Starrk, Hanataro, Yachiru, and dammit even Ashido.
I prefer to stick to those I've already set to my alert list and poke around their favorites and authors. Because the authors I pick out tend to avoid pairings, and in turn avoid reading about them. So it works out most of the time. But... there are still the UlquiHime fics that somehow worm their way in.
(see my first rant for more details)
On that note, the pairings themselves starting with the main stars.
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki
Now, Ichigo is one of those shonen heros that shows no romantic interest in any gender because it's, ya know, a shonen. Orihime is a close friend, Uryuu is a friend but at the same time rival, Chad is like his right hand man, and Rukia is his homie. Never once in the series does he go beyond that. Even though that little scene when Ichigo holds Orihime's hand in Los Noches was total shipping fuel, it still doesn't count towards anything more than friendship.
Bitching fans may scream at me saying "STFU it's just us using our imagination" or "Omg how can u not see tru luurrve <33"
My response?
Do jump off a bridge because you annoy the fuck out of me.
If you want to use your imagination so much, try actually making a story where Ichigo is in character and treats everyone on equal ground. Or is that to hard for your little brain to handle?
True love you say? Once again, jump off a goddamn bridge you annoying little fuck because Bleach is a shonen and romance shouldn't even be in the picture unless it's deemed canon and relevant to the plot. Like Rangiku and Gin, Tousen and that other lady, or Byakuya and Hisana.
SPEAKING OF WHICH!
Byakuya does not love his little adopted sister like that you sick fucks.
First off, him even liking Rukia like that is a bit of an odd twist itself. First, she looks like Hisana. So by him liking her that would mean his feelings arn't even for Rukia, but his dead wife. Second, necrophelia. Hisana's dead. Dead twice even. Third, Rukia is waaaay to young and in turn woudn't insult her brother by thinking in such a way. I admit I don't really find 18+ going with anyone underage, but there's a limit even to that.
Rukia admires him like an idol, and she respects him as much as any girl could respect her brother.
Another thing, Byakuya is cold, calculating, and has a nobel mind. Hell, even if he completely got over Hisana, he wouldn't even consider any woman below his status. Meaning he wouldn't give a single fuck about any woman in the Bleach series so far.
Yoruichi pisses him off. No not a sign of romance of any kind. Soi Fon (I much prefer thet spelling because the official one is ugly) may be cold and calculating as well but she's married to her job. And Yoruichi is the canon apple in her eye. Unohana is like a single mother and romance for her would most likely be kept in the dark. And Byakuya to her is most likely a little boy (with her being so frickin old and her personality to boot). And anyone who suggest Rangiku should be slapped. Hell, Byakuya would slap her and the authoress. Why authoress? Because I know females are the cause of it.
And don't even get me started on Yaoi... that will come later.
Now, back to Rakgiku aka Orihime if she was 100% legal.
The woman had a deep relationship with Gin. Though they weren't openly in one it's obvious she wouldn't deny it now that Gin is dead. And now that Gin is dead, she still wouldn't date any of the men in the S.S. All they do is drool over her, and if anyone even gets close she knocks them right he fuck back.
NO!
Don't even think about saying it.
Hitsugaya is not a candidate. He's a little boy who openly detests being treated like a little kid, especially by her. Even if he grew up for about 100 years, Matsumoto, by that time, most likely would have convinced him to be a bit less hostile. That's about it.
Now onto Hitsugaya.
I'm going to go to FF and copy and paste a romance story from his category. I wont even have to look hard. I can just click his name and put any rating and I swear Tomance will pop up, either with Rangiku or Karin.
(less than a minute later- seriously)
Karin moves to attend high school. She meets the mysterious Toshirou
Hitsugaya, and tries to get trough his personal-barrier to be...friends?
ex-KarinZabimaru KarinHebi HitsuKarin ByaHisa KyoNana and GinMatsu.
Really, really AU. Warnings inside. R&R
What the fuck did I say? It was the first story actually. And might I say, extremely stupid in my opinion. And by some fluke I'm sure the authoress will discover this. Authoress again? Yeah, I just have a feeling a girl wrote it. Now, multiply this by 2000 and now you see why I hate having to look for new fanfictions for Bleach.
And judging from the pairings, I'll move on to more. Oh no, I ain't done yet.
You see, I wrote a fanfiction of my own called Reaction Shot. Basically the characters reactions to finding the abominations on fanfiction. And now I think it's about time I touched on yaoi.
I have no problem with homosexual love. But it's when dipshits write the worst pieces of garbage in existance that it pisses me off.
Mainly the whole seme uke system. I hate it. It makes reading it extremely un-enjoyable. especially for Bleach. Can't 2 guys just have a normal relationship and not act like the 13 year old girls who write it?
Ulquiorra qould never in his life blush furiously. Even in a gigai. Grimmjow would never be caught dead looking lovingly into anyone's eyes. And Ichigo's voice would never mirror that of a girls when confesssing his feelings.
To me, there's gay, and theres Omg stfu you annoying twat.
Gay: Guy somewhat nervously admits his feelings, you know, because being homo isn't all that accepted world wide. Basically stuttering occasionally, looking around, scratching the back of his head, heart beating faster, maybe even talking faster.
Annoying faggot: Ne, Kurosaki-kun. Ai.. aishiteru! Blushing madly, trying to kiss whomever, twidling fingers, crossdressing in lolita fashion.
See my point?
If it ever happens in your area, go to the Gay Pride parade. You can clearly see the diffrent types of gay. Now, the same goes for straight!
There's the 'normal' straight people, and the annoying couples that make out in public that you want to hire a hitman to shoot the man/woman in the head.
Anyway, I'm a strong follower of keeping everyone in character. Including humor. I rarely make exceptions and its usually for another fandom. I even re-write my current works just to keep that in order.
So seeing certain characters paired and written really sends me into pissed off mode. Hence my overwhelming hatred for UlquiHime.
Ah yes, Orihime.
Why the fuck do people keep shipping her with Ulquiorra? In the words of the Angry Video Game Nerd, it makes me want to kill myself.
Did anyone just skip over the episodes where she confesses for Ichigo? Even in recent chapters/episodes, she's seen fantasizing about his bishonen looks. Dont believe me? It's fucking there.
She, in no way, wants Ulquiorra, Chad, Renji, Uryuu, Grimmjow, Aizen, Loly, Byakuya (I checked, its fucking there), or anyone who's NOT Ichigo. Go to fanfiction.net and see for yourself. Just filter Orihime's name. It will read, I shit you not, Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Ichigo, Random character (still Romance), Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra.
I think I'm going to cry from the stupidity of it all.
And to think, all that was just for fanfiction.
Moving on to fan art.
It's just as bad, only you can't fully avoid it. Mainly because I frequent DeviantArt. I'm part of several Bleach clubs, and I'm considering changing my Watch to Journals only.
Every Ulquiorra fan club I've joined is filled to the brim with UlquiHime. It's annoying as hell when I want to just find some decent fan art of the espada. But nope. It's either him and Hime-chan, or him, Hime, and Grimmjow.
Fuck!
Grimmjow has absolutely little to no interest in anyone or anything outside of kicking the living shit out of Ichigo. Orihime was no more than a tool, and not even a valuable one from the way he treated her. And no, returning a favor was not his way of confessing. She helped him out a lot by returning his arm as well as rank. He's like Zaraki, who actually treated Orihime in the same manner.
Basically going "Hey bitch, heal me and get out of my way."
They don't even call Orihime by her last name. They just say 'Onna/Woman/Girl'. I've seen more affection from Mayuri to Nemu.
That aside, the same goes for the other Bleach clubs. I Watch for quality art of the main characters, I get shitty pairings. And not even with pairings that make sense most of the time.
In fact, the only pairings that, if canon, that would make sense are...um...Loly and Menoly.That's it.
The Espada are all insane sociopaths. Szayel acts lusty because his Zanpakuto makes him a sexy man whore, but he'd never love anyone. He;s basically the Marluxia of Bleach. Prove me wrong.
The Captains of the Gotei 13 have no room for it and wouldn't dare date each other. Or any teenage humans. I'd say Isshin was the only exception and even so, found himself a real woman. And he's a bit of an idiot.
And I believe Shunsui just likes to flirt. He reminds me of Ezio from Assasin's Creed. He enjoyed women for being women. And Shunsui flirts with Nanao because he likes to get a cute rise out of her. If she, or even Lisa, broke down and confessed their feelings he'd most likely refuse. Plus he knew Nanao since she was a little girl, and I highly doubt things would go Memoirs of a Geisha style between the two.
Seeing him naked with Nanao is... icky, and it makes me avoid looking into my DevWatch page. The Lutenants, or however you spell it,are a different case.
Renji obviously likes Rukia, but still, Rukia is more of a home girl type of girl. And her feelings went to Kaien. I'll get to him soon. Anyway, I've seen plenty of fan art of them being married.
No.
It makes little to no sense. For Rukia anyways. I highly doubt she'd even marry Kaien if she had the chance. The positions and predicaments for her any character are just so, unlikely. And it alse ends up looking dumb.
Now, of all the couples, the canon shipping fuel for Ichigo and Rukia is extremely high. The Haruka Kanata endings, that one movie, them aleays being together, that scene when she fades from view, it's just there. But the couple itself is just.. blah.
Just like with Hisana, oh boy, isn't it ironic that both Rukia and Byakuya's people of interest died and a doppleganger shows up?
Anyway, just like with Hisana, Kaien has a new twin. Ichigo. And since both Hisana and Kaien are dead, Rukia would only see the past version like Byakuya would.
She wouldn't love Ichigo for Ichigo, she'd only be seeing Kaien and would think of Kaien. She'd try and bring out the Kaien in Ichigo and Ichigo himself would see a comrade acting a bit too romancy for his tastes... now that I think about it, theres a scene i the begining of the series where Ichigo was peeing and the door bust open. The same thing sort of happened to Yoh Asakura in Shaman King, and even Naruto had a few bathroom scenes... is that just a common thing in Shonen Jump?
Anyway, that's all I - nevermind, the thought just came to me. Lemons.
Lemons, lemons, lemons. I don't have a single fucking clue why they're named after the fruit but they make me cringe... maybe that's why.
Occasionally with fan art, a fanfiction follows. Just what brought you to the conclusion that Ulquiorra would ever want to fuck Orihime? any why she would be willing?
If anything, I'd expect him to rape her in order to see what her reaction would be. It's just... ugh. Why?
You know what Orihime has? Stockholm Syndrome.
Here's a definition:Stockholm syndrome
noun Psychiatry .
an emotional attachment to a captor formed by a hostage as a result of continuous stress, dependence, and a need to cooperate for survival.
She obviously went through each of these. So there ya go. And mind you, this isn't normal. It's not good either to develop it. Orihime has a mental problem. Thank goodness I paid attention in Psychology to remember such a thing.
That's it, that's all for now. I'm sure I'll be entering more bitching fits in the future.