I started a journal last night on my computer
Granted I was kinda tipsy and absolutely exhasted, but I did it anyway. I just started some philosophical rambling about where I do and do not belong. It really all started because I spent the whole day packing. And I spent the whole weekend with my grandma, which went by increadibly fast, and yesterday putting everything in boxes and folding my clothes, and doing laundry, and thinking about moving, and figuring out about the van rental, and freaking out, and then talking to Blake, and feeling better, but then realizing, what the fuck am I doing??
I went through my old photo album & scrapbook last night when I was packing up my box of old photos and I just couldnt help myself but stop and look, and granted maybe it was the old pictures of jordan, but it is more him being a vegetarian, and the eating of the tofu and my inner twistings just start to twist and I remember feeling when we were dating that no one could truely love or understand me ALL THE WAY unless they were a vegetarian - because of course, how could they? They can never truely appreciate me unless they not only understand why I dont eat me, but don't eat meat also and can not only listen to me rant about dairy farms and know who Monsanto is but add to my conversation and participate in my brain connections.
On a good note - going down to eugene with erin tonight to LOOK AT THE HOUSE OH MY GOD. And pick rooms. And get the keys. AND YES!!!! yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.
I went through my old photo album & scrapbook last night when I was packing up my box of old photos and I just couldnt help myself but stop and look, and granted maybe it was the old pictures of jordan, but it is more him being a vegetarian, and the eating of the tofu and my inner twistings just start to twist and I remember feeling when we were dating that no one could truely love or understand me ALL THE WAY unless they were a vegetarian - because of course, how could they? They can never truely appreciate me unless they not only understand why I dont eat me, but don't eat meat also and can not only listen to me rant about dairy farms and know who Monsanto is but add to my conversation and participate in my brain connections.
On a good note - going down to eugene with erin tonight to LOOK AT THE HOUSE OH MY GOD. And pick rooms. And get the keys. AND YES!!!! yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.