an update/ranting
So Wade broke my heart. heh what else is new? He's gone and it was all so random and i dunno if i even understand even after 4 months. I was horrible when it first happened.. but i had my friends.. which was amazing and i love them so much for that.. mainly i wouldn't be okay if it weren't for Ben. I've missed him slightly throughout the months.. but now that i've been talking to a new guy.. i'm missing him more. Well i dunno if i miss him but having a relationship like that. I don't know what i even want.. i'm really smitten by this new guy. but i dunno.. i'm still scared... scared of getting hurt scared of falling too hard and too fast again.. just scared.. meh.. he's been really sweet but i hardly know him... i dunno. then i'm afraid of hurting a nice guy because of rebound.. but i think i got that out of my system ;) haha
i'm sick of guys just wanting me for sex or anything dealing with that.. guys who used to be really close friends.. or well some guys in general are now all about sex with me. like i don't even matter.. i guess i bring it on myself.. but i never mean it.. they just take it like 20 steps too far..
and then i'm sick of all the guys i like either bail on me when they say they'll see me or they're gay. I just pick wonderful guys don't i? haha
but if astrology is right at all.. then this better work.. we'll see... if it ever even happens.. I just hope so but yet i make myself feel worse and go and do something stupid.. well a few stupid things..
theres so many things on my mind right now and i dunno how to even get it all out... but then again i'm thinking too damn much and thats what hurts me.. i really need to listen to Katie and just go with the flow of things and not worry.. meh so i'm gonna leave this..ti
i'm sick of guys just wanting me for sex or anything dealing with that.. guys who used to be really close friends.. or well some guys in general are now all about sex with me. like i don't even matter.. i guess i bring it on myself.. but i never mean it.. they just take it like 20 steps too far..
and then i'm sick of all the guys i like either bail on me when they say they'll see me or they're gay. I just pick wonderful guys don't i? haha
but if astrology is right at all.. then this better work.. we'll see... if it ever even happens.. I just hope so but yet i make myself feel worse and go and do something stupid.. well a few stupid things..
theres so many things on my mind right now and i dunno how to even get it all out... but then again i'm thinking too damn much and thats what hurts me.. i really need to listen to Katie and just go with the flow of things and not worry.. meh so i'm gonna leave this..ti