band, life, stuff
So, all in all, Friday went well on the face of it. We were far from perfect, but the response was good, and we had a lot of really positive feedback afterwards.
I hated it. Ian sent Jessica a drunken text message shortly before we left for Brendan's asking what time we were on. She and he spoke, and she invited him along. The news that he was coming and his subsequent arrival made me really apprehensive for some reason, I was convinced he was going to be a jerk about it - like, shouting insults and stuff. And he did, a little bit, and I think he'd have gone much further if he hadn't immediately picked up that I was on edge, and if Coma hadn't parked herself next to him to keep him in line.
Jessica also asked him to sing a song that he has never sung outside of band practice, and never would because it was kind of a joke between the two of us when we were going out, and he's said a hundred times he just can't sing those words knowing that it's about me. I on the other hand had it sussed.
So he stood up the front for the entire song - he kept stepping backwards onto my pedal which is now not functioning correctly, and shoving me - whether intentionally or not I'm not sure.
The whole thing just really messed me up. By the end I just felt awful - I was alternating between wanting to go home and have a big cry about it all, and beating someone up I was so angry.
Since then, Jessica has said she doesn't want to cut him off from band - she told me off when I said that I didn't want him back and that as far as I was concerned he was kicked out.
I don't really get why I'm reacting so strongly to the whole thing - that bothers me in itself. I'm kind of bothered that Jessica doesn't get it at all - I think she mostly thinks he's just being funny, and I know that I should just sit and talk to her about all this - but I think she just thinks I'm over-reacting and I just have this feeling that I'll come off as the bad guy.
So, just now, I really don't want to be in a band.
In the meantime, I am back in "I hate my job" land. I got an offer late last year to move to a process analyst role - I was offered the role about 6 months before that but turned it down because I didn't want to be stuck doing process maps. I hate process mapping. ...But I was assured that there would be a significant process improvement component to the role, and a few other things besides, and that certainly seemed to be what the team were doing - so I took it.
Just recently, the project manager who arranged the move & subsequently became my reporting manager left. My new manager has been asking me these weird questions - like 'can you show evidence that this is a role, not a secondment'- that kind of thing. I am doing more of the stuff I hate and less of the stuff I like.
My new manager also started off by deciding to pull us all into line about our start and finish times and our sick leave. Her first day in the new role she sat me down and started talking about how I'd had had too many days or something - but it was about 2 days after my anniversary date, which is when my leave calendar resets - I pointed that out and she said she had no idea what I was talking about. I then explained how many sick leave days I get, how many I get without a certificate, and how my calendar works. I'm hired under a different agreement from her - but I wasn't so impressed that she hadn't checked it out before deciding to talk to me about it.
I don't think I dislike her as a manager, but I miss the old one. Anyway. I'm bummed about work.
To round off my terrible week, I got a yellow sticker on my car. it's my bad, I did a spot of crazy driving, I guess. There was a bus, I went to overtake it because it was indicating that it was going to stop. At the last minute it changed its mind, and instead of letting it pass (I needed to turn the corner shortly after) I sped up and darted in in front - I'd have had to completely stop otherwise, or miss the turn=off. It was just awkward. Anyway, just as I did this, a police car turned in to the street that I was turning into from the other direction and pulled me over.
They've got me on minor, easily fixable things, but to clear it I have to take the car over the pits - so I basically have to speed up my rate of work quite significantly. It's not actually in that bad a shape, I just don't have the funds to do the body work - so I've been holding off on doing the engine, because it's just logical to take the whole thing out and do them at the same time. It's also quite stable, even thought it's worn.
My finances are a bit of a mess at the moment. With the car stuff and the thinking about quitting job stuff, and everything else, I probably have to stop going out and actually apply myself to not spending for a while - but the trouble is when I am in this kind of mood, I alternate between wanting to stay at home and gorge myself on junk food and going out drinking heavily - both of which end up denting my savings, not helping them.
Nuts to everything.
I hated it. Ian sent Jessica a drunken text message shortly before we left for Brendan's asking what time we were on. She and he spoke, and she invited him along. The news that he was coming and his subsequent arrival made me really apprehensive for some reason, I was convinced he was going to be a jerk about it - like, shouting insults and stuff. And he did, a little bit, and I think he'd have gone much further if he hadn't immediately picked up that I was on edge, and if Coma hadn't parked herself next to him to keep him in line.
Jessica also asked him to sing a song that he has never sung outside of band practice, and never would because it was kind of a joke between the two of us when we were going out, and he's said a hundred times he just can't sing those words knowing that it's about me. I on the other hand had it sussed.
So he stood up the front for the entire song - he kept stepping backwards onto my pedal which is now not functioning correctly, and shoving me - whether intentionally or not I'm not sure.
The whole thing just really messed me up. By the end I just felt awful - I was alternating between wanting to go home and have a big cry about it all, and beating someone up I was so angry.
Since then, Jessica has said she doesn't want to cut him off from band - she told me off when I said that I didn't want him back and that as far as I was concerned he was kicked out.
I don't really get why I'm reacting so strongly to the whole thing - that bothers me in itself. I'm kind of bothered that Jessica doesn't get it at all - I think she mostly thinks he's just being funny, and I know that I should just sit and talk to her about all this - but I think she just thinks I'm over-reacting and I just have this feeling that I'll come off as the bad guy.
So, just now, I really don't want to be in a band.
In the meantime, I am back in "I hate my job" land. I got an offer late last year to move to a process analyst role - I was offered the role about 6 months before that but turned it down because I didn't want to be stuck doing process maps. I hate process mapping. ...But I was assured that there would be a significant process improvement component to the role, and a few other things besides, and that certainly seemed to be what the team were doing - so I took it.
Just recently, the project manager who arranged the move & subsequently became my reporting manager left. My new manager has been asking me these weird questions - like 'can you show evidence that this is a role, not a secondment'- that kind of thing. I am doing more of the stuff I hate and less of the stuff I like.
My new manager also started off by deciding to pull us all into line about our start and finish times and our sick leave. Her first day in the new role she sat me down and started talking about how I'd had had too many days or something - but it was about 2 days after my anniversary date, which is when my leave calendar resets - I pointed that out and she said she had no idea what I was talking about. I then explained how many sick leave days I get, how many I get without a certificate, and how my calendar works. I'm hired under a different agreement from her - but I wasn't so impressed that she hadn't checked it out before deciding to talk to me about it.
I don't think I dislike her as a manager, but I miss the old one. Anyway. I'm bummed about work.
To round off my terrible week, I got a yellow sticker on my car. it's my bad, I did a spot of crazy driving, I guess. There was a bus, I went to overtake it because it was indicating that it was going to stop. At the last minute it changed its mind, and instead of letting it pass (I needed to turn the corner shortly after) I sped up and darted in in front - I'd have had to completely stop otherwise, or miss the turn=off. It was just awkward. Anyway, just as I did this, a police car turned in to the street that I was turning into from the other direction and pulled me over.
They've got me on minor, easily fixable things, but to clear it I have to take the car over the pits - so I basically have to speed up my rate of work quite significantly. It's not actually in that bad a shape, I just don't have the funds to do the body work - so I've been holding off on doing the engine, because it's just logical to take the whole thing out and do them at the same time. It's also quite stable, even thought it's worn.
My finances are a bit of a mess at the moment. With the car stuff and the thinking about quitting job stuff, and everything else, I probably have to stop going out and actually apply myself to not spending for a while - but the trouble is when I am in this kind of mood, I alternate between wanting to stay at home and gorge myself on junk food and going out drinking heavily - both of which end up denting my savings, not helping them.
Nuts to everything.