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[vesper72]

Here are the original Teddy Bear Picnic lyrics from eighteenth century Prussia - rewritten as the watered down favorite of generations of children a century later.

If you go out in the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise
If you go out in the woods today
You're sure to meet your demise

For every bear that ever was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic

Picnic time for teddy bears
Devilish teddy bears are feasting on your flesh today
They have caught you unawares
And this is their flesh-eating holiday
See them gaily plan your fate
Entrails served on a plate
And never have any cares
At six o'clock they start to gather round
Sharpening fangs and claws
Because they are hungry Prussian teddy bears

If you go out in the woods today
You'd better not go alone
It's not safe at all the woods today
If you value your bones

For every bear that ever was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic

Chorus

Every teddy bear it is true
Is sure of your meat today
There's plenty of you to go around
Quite the culinary display

Beneath the trees, where nobody sees
They'll rip the skin right off of your knees
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic