Lindsay did a lot of thinking after her post yesterday.
What I gleaned from the posts (and thank you, BTW - they mean so very much to me) is that I do have to get out of the house more. I do. And I have to do more of what I like, not solely doing caretaking or I'll burn myself out. And that once he's old enough to start interacting I'll likely find more joy in the experience, but ti won't necessarily be easier. Oh, and this is still the best option for me for now since I don't want anyone else doing it for me. For now.
So what did I do about it all?
Yesterday I got out of the house for a quick errand, and then decided to take a drive. I love driving. I'm not one of those people who sees a car as a vessel for transporting yourself from point A to point B. Oh, no. I love the feeling of driving without purpose and without plan - just seeing where the road goes and seeing what's around me. I drove for an hour. Into streets I'd never been down, to a new development I'd read about, down streets where there are still dairy farms with thousands of cows all lined up near their troughs, past a regional park that looks promising, past a new shopping center that I didn't even know existed. I had the radio on and sang to some songs while Drew slept (mostly) in the backseat. it was great.
Then I came home and made a new recipe. I do love to create meals from scratch. Last night I made lasagna. One to cook, and one to freeze. I mostly followed Suzanne's "Lasagna to stock the freezer recipe" and added some spices and whatnot (but I cut the amounts of everything in half - smaller pan sizes, I think). Turned out really well, and now we have another couple of days of dinners for the week, and another tray in the freezer. Thanks, Suzanne! AND, we had a lovely package waiting for us from Keely. Thanks, Piper! ;)
And then, today, I went out to lunch with a girlfriend from work. We went to an Indian buffet where they always seem to have lovely korma and palak paneer, and garlic naan which is just so amazing I could practically eat a basket myself. We chatted for a full hour and decided that we'd do lunch again soon, even if we just bring a bag of sandwiches to a park for a picnic. When I got home I logged on (are we the only ones in the freaking world that still can't get DSL on our street, or what?) and got an email from another old girlfriend at work who had a baby in August and quit to be a SAHM asking if I wanted to get together soon.
Oh, yes. Definitely a better day. I feel SO MUCH more energized, and since I'm in a better mood I'm not letting Drew's needs get to me nearly as much.
Today I feel as though I can do this.
So what did I do about it all?
Yesterday I got out of the house for a quick errand, and then decided to take a drive. I love driving. I'm not one of those people who sees a car as a vessel for transporting yourself from point A to point B. Oh, no. I love the feeling of driving without purpose and without plan - just seeing where the road goes and seeing what's around me. I drove for an hour. Into streets I'd never been down, to a new development I'd read about, down streets where there are still dairy farms with thousands of cows all lined up near their troughs, past a regional park that looks promising, past a new shopping center that I didn't even know existed. I had the radio on and sang to some songs while Drew slept (mostly) in the backseat. it was great.
Then I came home and made a new recipe. I do love to create meals from scratch. Last night I made lasagna. One to cook, and one to freeze. I mostly followed Suzanne's "Lasagna to stock the freezer recipe" and added some spices and whatnot (but I cut the amounts of everything in half - smaller pan sizes, I think). Turned out really well, and now we have another couple of days of dinners for the week, and another tray in the freezer. Thanks, Suzanne! AND, we had a lovely package waiting for us from Keely. Thanks, Piper! ;)
And then, today, I went out to lunch with a girlfriend from work. We went to an Indian buffet where they always seem to have lovely korma and palak paneer, and garlic naan which is just so amazing I could practically eat a basket myself. We chatted for a full hour and decided that we'd do lunch again soon, even if we just bring a bag of sandwiches to a park for a picnic. When I got home I logged on (are we the only ones in the freaking world that still can't get DSL on our street, or what?) and got an email from another old girlfriend at work who had a baby in August and quit to be a SAHM asking if I wanted to get together soon.
Oh, yes. Definitely a better day. I feel SO MUCH more energized, and since I'm in a better mood I'm not letting Drew's needs get to me nearly as much.
Today I feel as though I can do this.