Ode to Optophobia (9A)
Title: Ode to Optophobia, or: Ten Men That Loved Annie Edison (17/19)
Author: veryspecial0ne
Rating: R for the whole series, to be safe.
Word count: ~2200 for this installment, ~43,000 for the series thus far.
Disclaimer: I have now been tweeted by Dan Harmon, Alison Brie, and Ludwig Goransson, and Joel McHale DMed me once. I'm pretty sure that's the ( Read more... )
LOVE IT.
Jeff's anxiety and lingering insecurity was so in character. He would totally be freaking out over asking Annie to marry him, even if it was pretty clear that she would say yes. The unresolved issue of Annie's tryst with Troy, and her lack of disclosure on the subject would definitely up the tension for Jeff in that situation.
Jeff thought from her narrowed eyes for the next couple of hours that she probably thought he had porn hidden in there. As if he wasn't clever enough to keep it in a password-protected, well-camouflaged folder on his laptop
AHAHAHAHAHA.
I love the detail of his opening and closing the ring box in agitation. And two carats is a nice size. Not too big, and not too small. Though really, Jeff, couldn't you have sprung for platinum on your lawyer's salary? ;-)
watching Annie sulk about Britta's superior wedding planning skills
Haha. You know, I totally expected that Annie would react this way in the episode, so I was pleasantly surprised to see her not get overly competitive and be sincere in her praise of the job Britta did. It was a refreshing change. :-)
I like the choice to have this confrontation on the day Jeff decides to propose, on a day where the emotional stakes are very high for him. I like the connection to the another time the stakes were high for him, when he had a different question to ask Annie. And I like that he finally snaps out of it at the same time he realizes that he was just in time when he went to her all those years ago. I don't know if that was your intention, but I saw a symmetry there.
Aww, a call back to the head pat of sexual frustration! :-)
I was initially expecting a look at the early days of their relationship for this first part, but I like that we've come full circle. I'm very excited to see what you do in the last two chapters. Fabulous as always. :-)
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So I actually had this one planned since around the second half of the Troy chapter, when it was revealed that they'd both talked to Jeff about that night. I don't remember whether I decided to make it the proposal night before or after coming up with the idea of Jeff and Annie fighting about Troy, but there were indeed a lot of symmetries that I liked. First, that we're wrapping up the timeline of the first halves of the chapters right where the second halves picked up way back at the beginning. (The very last installment of this will be more of an epilogue than anything, so it doesn't really fit into the same structure.) Also, and this really only applies to me, but I think I said in the A/N for that one that the night with Troy was the first chapter of this story I finished, so I liked going back to it here.
WOO-ZAH. I can't believe the end is so close. The best possible outcome here, and the one I was hoping for, is that all the writing and reviewing and stuff will kick my writing metabolism back into gear, and I can get a bunch of work done on the next chapter today and Friday on my flights to and from L.A. Also I've promised Mary a Spencer Hastings fic after I finish this one, so I need to get crack-a-lacking.
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