An Open Letter to Anyone with a Phone
Dear Phone Caller,
I'm sure you are a very busy, important person with a lot of urgent matters to attend to. So I will make this quick. When you call someone, and you get their voicemail, it means that either a) they're already on the phone dealing with another very busy, important person, b) they're a busy, important person themself and can't answer the phone right then or c) they're just not there. When this happens to you, all you need to do is leave your name and contact information on the voicemail, and whoever it is you're trying to reach will call you back whenever they can, based on the order of your actual importance and level of urgency. Unless you're calling 911, chances are you don't actually need to speak to the person at that exact moment. You know what doesn't help? Calling the receptionist and telling her (because let's face it, it's almost always a her) that you don't want to talk to a voicemail, you want to speak to the actual person, then asking her to find them/page them/ get them on the phone. It doesn't help because the person you are trying to call is either a) already on the phone, b) busy doing something or c) and this is the most common one ... they're not there! It also doesn't help to get mad at the poor receptionist when she can't find the person you're trying to call, and asks if you would like to be put through to voicemail. Repeating the sentence, 'I don't want to talk to voicemail, I want to talk to a real person' does nothing but invoke the ire of an already annoyed receptionist, who at that point instead of helping you by putting you through to someone else who can help you right away, will most likely put you through to member services where you will be forced to wait on hold. And when you call back -again- and say you want to speak to someone right away, she will put you on hold, wait a few minutes, then tell you that all the member service associates are busy and you'll just have to wait. You know... waiting in line, patiently, like they teach you do in Kindergarten? I understand, dear caller, that this process must be frustrating for you. But you need to understand that there are a lot of other people in this world, and they all deserve the same amount of time that you do. So you don't get to interrupt someone elses phone call, or task, or lunch break, and you don't get to jump ahead to the front of the line. Unless you ask really, really nicely. Thank you for this minute of your time.
Shari Archinoff
on behalf of all fed-up, pissed-off receptionists everywhere
In related news...two more weeks and I'm done with this bullshit
I'm sure you are a very busy, important person with a lot of urgent matters to attend to. So I will make this quick. When you call someone, and you get their voicemail, it means that either a) they're already on the phone dealing with another very busy, important person, b) they're a busy, important person themself and can't answer the phone right then or c) they're just not there. When this happens to you, all you need to do is leave your name and contact information on the voicemail, and whoever it is you're trying to reach will call you back whenever they can, based on the order of your actual importance and level of urgency. Unless you're calling 911, chances are you don't actually need to speak to the person at that exact moment. You know what doesn't help? Calling the receptionist and telling her (because let's face it, it's almost always a her) that you don't want to talk to a voicemail, you want to speak to the actual person, then asking her to find them/page them/ get them on the phone. It doesn't help because the person you are trying to call is either a) already on the phone, b) busy doing something or c) and this is the most common one ... they're not there! It also doesn't help to get mad at the poor receptionist when she can't find the person you're trying to call, and asks if you would like to be put through to voicemail. Repeating the sentence, 'I don't want to talk to voicemail, I want to talk to a real person' does nothing but invoke the ire of an already annoyed receptionist, who at that point instead of helping you by putting you through to someone else who can help you right away, will most likely put you through to member services where you will be forced to wait on hold. And when you call back -again- and say you want to speak to someone right away, she will put you on hold, wait a few minutes, then tell you that all the member service associates are busy and you'll just have to wait. You know... waiting in line, patiently, like they teach you do in Kindergarten? I understand, dear caller, that this process must be frustrating for you. But you need to understand that there are a lot of other people in this world, and they all deserve the same amount of time that you do. So you don't get to interrupt someone elses phone call, or task, or lunch break, and you don't get to jump ahead to the front of the line. Unless you ask really, really nicely. Thank you for this minute of your time.
Shari Archinoff
on behalf of all fed-up, pissed-off receptionists everywhere
In related news...two more weeks and I'm done with this bullshit