Couples Therapy Week 14
There are a lot of ways to say I love you. Fucking is the fastest.
For a woman who didn’t like to be touched she loves to cuddle now. She loves to fuck and she loves to give blow jobs. I’m never quite certain if my reaction is what she’s expecting or not because of the way she looks up at me. I swear its half worship, half pleading and I don’t know what to do with either. I feel like I should stop her mid-act because I know how it’s going to end. She’ll give me those eyes, nuzzle against my neck and whisper my name like I’m a savior. I’m always afraid she’s going to see how empty I am in those moments just as every other woman has before. I suppose I’ve become a better actor, an excellent pretender. I’m quite certain if I could love her, I would. However the simple fact is, I can’t.
[locked from everyone]
In truth, my next kill makes me harder than the thought of Rita giving me a blow job ever will. I’m certain she is good at the act. It is me who’s defective but Rita has it in her head that fucking somehow equates to love and since she is an integral part of my façade she needs to believe I love her. It’s hard to force the words out sometimes so I succumb to the fucking even when I’d rather not. Besides, I am rather attached to her.
For a woman who didn’t like to be touched she loves to cuddle now. She loves to fuck and she loves to give blow jobs. I’m never quite certain if my reaction is what she’s expecting or not because of the way she looks up at me. I swear its half worship, half pleading and I don’t know what to do with either. I feel like I should stop her mid-act because I know how it’s going to end. She’ll give me those eyes, nuzzle against my neck and whisper my name like I’m a savior. I’m always afraid she’s going to see how empty I am in those moments just as every other woman has before. I suppose I’ve become a better actor, an excellent pretender. I’m quite certain if I could love her, I would. However the simple fact is, I can’t.
[locked from everyone]
In truth, my next kill makes me harder than the thought of Rita giving me a blow job ever will. I’m certain she is good at the act. It is me who’s defective but Rita has it in her head that fucking somehow equates to love and since she is an integral part of my façade she needs to believe I love her. It’s hard to force the words out sometimes so I succumb to the fucking even when I’d rather not. Besides, I am rather attached to her.