AA BAIL...RATHER BHAIS MUJHE MAAR (PART-2)
Continuing about Sr. Aunty. The lady, Shrads thought, seriously hated women. Shrads, though she shouldn`t think such things about her boss, really doubted if the lady was a woman herself since she hated other females so much. She spoke ill about women ranging from speakers from her own vertical to other verticals to BHs to women working for some functional departments too. The only women she truly loved were herself, Sr. Aunty and Middle Aunty. Now about Middle Aunty, her situation was actually like the fox who gives up trying to reach the bunch of grapes high up on the tree saying that the grapes are sour. She behaved with Shrads as if her presence didnot matter to her at all while saying that I anyways had to resign. Since she couldn`t taunt Shrads on anything else and anything else would have been too obvious, she taunted Shrads on her pear-shaped body. It was a very subtle way of taunting. She looked at GOLDY the goldfish in Shrads` office and said, "Ae isko itna khaane ko mat do nahi toh Shraddha jaisa ho jayega." Shrads had felt like slapping her at that moment. She couldn`t understand why these self-satisfied idiots were so insecure that they had to taunt someone else on trivial things??? Sr. Aunty used to keep on looking at pictures of Middle Aunty and say, "She looks so beautiful". "Ya rite", Shrads used to think, "Aishwarya, Katrina, Priyanka have no chance in front of her at all".
If she thought Middle Aunty was beautiful, Sr. Aunty thought she herself was no less. Every other day she used to simply sit on a chair in front of Shrads in her office and ask, " Shraddha madam, main patli ho gayi na???" Shards, as you know is a damn funny kid. Instead of following normal protocol and praising the boss, she used to simply smile. This was because she didnot want to lie for no reason( You understand, Aunty had not lost even a gram of weight) and couldn`t say out the truth that "No ma`m, you actually look 7 months pregnant, but 1 look at your face says that you are too old to be pregnant". After getting disappointed by Shrads` cold reaction, Sr. Aunty used to turn to Jr. Aunty and the latter would say, "Madam, you look so beautiful, Did your husband give you a hug??? If not, let me give you a hug and a kiss" Shrads used to think, " Ya rite, she is Cleopatra and Helen of Troy and Rambha, Mohini, Urvashi, Maneka all rolled into one, had you been a man, you would probably have married her yourself." All this, "Main patli ho gayi kya???" business used to drive Shrads nuts and she used to think it was probably because she herself was roly-poly. Another thing that Shrads hated was the language these ladies spoke in. Now Shrads is actually a linguist and loves to hear different languages and observe people speaking in different accents and dialects. No wonder she enjoyed learning French so much. But she was sure these ladies spoke in their mothertongue to irritate her. She thought speaking in a regional language at your place of work was a kind of bias. She thought you should only converse in English or in case of people like Mr. Surya who didnot know English(lols Shrads, the meano!!!), Hindi at your workplace. But what cannot be cured must be endured and Shrads sure endured them and even began to understand some terms from their language. Another trouble that Shrads faced from Aunty was her constant tagging behind her at meetings. It was ok if it was a one-on-one with Keshav sir. Shrads naturally had to support Aunty for her vertical. But when it was an overall meeting of all BHs, Shrads always wanted to sit with her friends, but Aunty forced Shrads to sit with her. Rather she assumed Shrads wanted to sit with her. To be true, Shrads` friends never really bothered to be with her at first. Chaitanya was ok. Shrads never expected anything from her. But Shyam too was cold. Never bothered to ask her how she was doing. Always behind his boss. So Shrads was sad too. Just to mention it, Shrads was once late by an hour for a large meeting of BHs which was her first official one. She sat down timidly on the first seat, sure that it was shoot-at-sight for her once she met UNCLE and others from her zone. But nothing of the sort actually happened. Also on one hand as much as Aunty hated the women in the company, she just loved the men folk. Her first object of affection was BOSSIE himself. True, he was a handsome man, but for heavensake, he had grown-up offspring as well. True, he liked to make lewd jokes, but Shrads wondered if Sr. Aunty was so out of orbit that she actually believed he meant what he said. Or it was just that Shrads had grown so bitter in this matter that even when a guy proposed to her, she, instead of acting coquettish, used to ask the guy, "Excuse me, what did you just say???".She would see the kind of attempts Aunty made to act supercool in front of UNCLE. There had been a time when Jr. Aunty had asked Shrads to get nail colour for her. Shrads obliged since she wanted someone to share all she had got with someone after all. Sr. Aunty was present there and she scoffed saying, " I really dont have a knack for all these feminine things." Shrads felt like retorting back, "Ya rite, different strokes for different folks.But isn`t mooning over UNCLE feminine???" This had also been the same lady who had asked Shrads to apply a fairness product. This too had rubbed Shrads the wrong way since she thought that people thought she was too dark. Also irritating had been the way Aunty kept on telling Shrads to tie her hair up. Her comment had been that, "Oh Shraddha, this is the first time I get to see your ears and earrings." Also she and Jr. Aunty had commented that Shrads` brand new rhodium plated gold earrings looked artificial. "Grrrr...," Shrads had thought!!! "Bandar kya jaane adrak ka swad."
Meanwhile looks had started to be exchanged between her and Cutie-Pie. His sessions were few and far in between. Mind you, Shrads had made the connection that he and Mr. Hideous-look-gelled-spkiy-hair, along with a bunch of other losers were really good friends. Shrads had observed that his nature was different from all of them. While all of them were inclined towards showing off, this guy was quiet. Apne kaam se kaam rakhnewala. And she knew from the feedback of the clients that he was damn good at his kaam. She liked such people. But she was far from liking this snob. There had been times when she had almost forgotten that he existed, only to be reminded by his arrival for a session. They were totally opposite to each other, she, the bubbly, chirpy girl who loved to talk and he, the silent recluse whose voice could never be heard outside the session. There came a time when Shrads had been so irritated by his mere presence that she got up mid-way from having lunch because he had arrived. He had actually not been feeling well that day. But how was she to know??? He neither spoke to anybody about it nor did she look at him long enough to know that he was unwell. It was only when he came out of the session asking for an anti-pyretic tablet and said to her sub-ordinate, "Mam, bahot feverish feel ho raha hai." while rubbing his arm through his shirt that she realised he indeed looked odd that day. Shrads observed that though he sometimes looked at her, never spoke to her directly. It somehow fell on Shrads to give him a tablet and he almost snatched it from her. "Ded shahana," Shrads thought. But she did think that he looked cute too, even when he behaved out and out like a snob. It was here that Shrads remembered an incident. One of the clients had been feeling feverish too, a session or two back, and Cutie-Pie had been the one taking the session. He let the client out, himself came out an requested for a tablet. Shrads had asked the client if he had eaten or not??? After confirming that he wasn`t taking the tablet empty-stomach, Shrads shouted instructions to him saying, "Dont take it with cold water", only to realise that there had been another voice, a male one instructing exactly the same thing to him. It had been Cutie-Pie. She was surprised that this man could even speak. Both of them being of shy nature(he himself told Shrads later that he was a shy and reserved guy), looked shocked at this coincidence and blushed and avoided looking at each other. Luckily there had been nobody else in the office to witness their predicament. Shrads smiled to herself and wondered if a new phase was beginning in her life.
If she thought Middle Aunty was beautiful, Sr. Aunty thought she herself was no less. Every other day she used to simply sit on a chair in front of Shrads in her office and ask, " Shraddha madam, main patli ho gayi na???" Shards, as you know is a damn funny kid. Instead of following normal protocol and praising the boss, she used to simply smile. This was because she didnot want to lie for no reason( You understand, Aunty had not lost even a gram of weight) and couldn`t say out the truth that "No ma`m, you actually look 7 months pregnant, but 1 look at your face says that you are too old to be pregnant". After getting disappointed by Shrads` cold reaction, Sr. Aunty used to turn to Jr. Aunty and the latter would say, "Madam, you look so beautiful, Did your husband give you a hug??? If not, let me give you a hug and a kiss" Shrads used to think, " Ya rite, she is Cleopatra and Helen of Troy and Rambha, Mohini, Urvashi, Maneka all rolled into one, had you been a man, you would probably have married her yourself." All this, "Main patli ho gayi kya???" business used to drive Shrads nuts and she used to think it was probably because she herself was roly-poly. Another thing that Shrads hated was the language these ladies spoke in. Now Shrads is actually a linguist and loves to hear different languages and observe people speaking in different accents and dialects. No wonder she enjoyed learning French so much. But she was sure these ladies spoke in their mothertongue to irritate her. She thought speaking in a regional language at your place of work was a kind of bias. She thought you should only converse in English or in case of people like Mr. Surya who didnot know English(lols Shrads, the meano!!!), Hindi at your workplace. But what cannot be cured must be endured and Shrads sure endured them and even began to understand some terms from their language. Another trouble that Shrads faced from Aunty was her constant tagging behind her at meetings. It was ok if it was a one-on-one with Keshav sir. Shrads naturally had to support Aunty for her vertical. But when it was an overall meeting of all BHs, Shrads always wanted to sit with her friends, but Aunty forced Shrads to sit with her. Rather she assumed Shrads wanted to sit with her. To be true, Shrads` friends never really bothered to be with her at first. Chaitanya was ok. Shrads never expected anything from her. But Shyam too was cold. Never bothered to ask her how she was doing. Always behind his boss. So Shrads was sad too. Just to mention it, Shrads was once late by an hour for a large meeting of BHs which was her first official one. She sat down timidly on the first seat, sure that it was shoot-at-sight for her once she met UNCLE and others from her zone. But nothing of the sort actually happened. Also on one hand as much as Aunty hated the women in the company, she just loved the men folk. Her first object of affection was BOSSIE himself. True, he was a handsome man, but for heavensake, he had grown-up offspring as well. True, he liked to make lewd jokes, but Shrads wondered if Sr. Aunty was so out of orbit that she actually believed he meant what he said. Or it was just that Shrads had grown so bitter in this matter that even when a guy proposed to her, she, instead of acting coquettish, used to ask the guy, "Excuse me, what did you just say???".She would see the kind of attempts Aunty made to act supercool in front of UNCLE. There had been a time when Jr. Aunty had asked Shrads to get nail colour for her. Shrads obliged since she wanted someone to share all she had got with someone after all. Sr. Aunty was present there and she scoffed saying, " I really dont have a knack for all these feminine things." Shrads felt like retorting back, "Ya rite, different strokes for different folks.But isn`t mooning over UNCLE feminine???" This had also been the same lady who had asked Shrads to apply a fairness product. This too had rubbed Shrads the wrong way since she thought that people thought she was too dark. Also irritating had been the way Aunty kept on telling Shrads to tie her hair up. Her comment had been that, "Oh Shraddha, this is the first time I get to see your ears and earrings." Also she and Jr. Aunty had commented that Shrads` brand new rhodium plated gold earrings looked artificial. "Grrrr...," Shrads had thought!!! "Bandar kya jaane adrak ka swad."
Meanwhile looks had started to be exchanged between her and Cutie-Pie. His sessions were few and far in between. Mind you, Shrads had made the connection that he and Mr. Hideous-look-gelled-spkiy-hair, along with a bunch of other losers were really good friends. Shrads had observed that his nature was different from all of them. While all of them were inclined towards showing off, this guy was quiet. Apne kaam se kaam rakhnewala. And she knew from the feedback of the clients that he was damn good at his kaam. She liked such people. But she was far from liking this snob. There had been times when she had almost forgotten that he existed, only to be reminded by his arrival for a session. They were totally opposite to each other, she, the bubbly, chirpy girl who loved to talk and he, the silent recluse whose voice could never be heard outside the session. There came a time when Shrads had been so irritated by his mere presence that she got up mid-way from having lunch because he had arrived. He had actually not been feeling well that day. But how was she to know??? He neither spoke to anybody about it nor did she look at him long enough to know that he was unwell. It was only when he came out of the session asking for an anti-pyretic tablet and said to her sub-ordinate, "Mam, bahot feverish feel ho raha hai." while rubbing his arm through his shirt that she realised he indeed looked odd that day. Shrads observed that though he sometimes looked at her, never spoke to her directly. It somehow fell on Shrads to give him a tablet and he almost snatched it from her. "Ded shahana," Shrads thought. But she did think that he looked cute too, even when he behaved out and out like a snob. It was here that Shrads remembered an incident. One of the clients had been feeling feverish too, a session or two back, and Cutie-Pie had been the one taking the session. He let the client out, himself came out an requested for a tablet. Shrads had asked the client if he had eaten or not??? After confirming that he wasn`t taking the tablet empty-stomach, Shrads shouted instructions to him saying, "Dont take it with cold water", only to realise that there had been another voice, a male one instructing exactly the same thing to him. It had been Cutie-Pie. She was surprised that this man could even speak. Both of them being of shy nature(he himself told Shrads later that he was a shy and reserved guy), looked shocked at this coincidence and blushed and avoided looking at each other. Luckily there had been nobody else in the office to witness their predicament. Shrads smiled to herself and wondered if a new phase was beginning in her life.