App Post.
Character: Luke Skywalker.
Series: Star Wars.
Character age: 23 (immediately post-Return of the Jedi).
Job: Commander of the Anti-Wildlife Rebellion.
Canon: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a farmboy named Luke Skywalker left home to rescue a princess from the Dark Lord Darth Vader. But things didn’t end there: to save the Galaxy, Luke would have to fight in the Rebel Alliance against the vicious Galactic Empire and train to become a Jedi Knight, one of the almost-vanished wielders of a mystical energy field called the “Force.” Of course, his family was bound to make this epic quest even tougher: the princess was really his sister, and Vader turned out to be his dad. Only after facing and reforming his father could Luke become a true Jedi, bring down the Empire, and restore peace to the galaxy.
Though Luke begins the series naive and impulsive, he becomes calmer, wiser, and better at coming up with sneaky plans as he and his Jedi powers mature. But underneath it all, Luke is still (in the words of his future wife) “just a farmboy”: idealistic, devoted to his friends and the Rebellion’s cause of galactic freedom, and using his skills to help wherever he can. Note: R2-D2 (“Artoo”) is the beeping robot mechanic and occasional message carrier who accompanies Luke on his adventures.
Greetings, Director Sayre. Allow me to introduce myself: I am Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight. I’ve come seeking the records of a great Jedi, Colonel Sanders, who fried the headless rogue Kentucky Chicken clones many years ago. It’s said that that the Colonel’s work saturated this area of your planet; I ask your permission to study his legacy from your encampment. As a sign of good faith, I offer my services for the duration of my research. Given the situation here, I’m sure I can assist you and your ailing campers’ “anti-gorilla teams” well.
-- and stop, Artoo. Ah, cut off the recording there and try to transmit it to wherever she is in this old swamp, then we can start working with the teams she’s got waiting for us. See if you can help the squads of campers who fell apart on us before I start a briefing; her recruits have seen some eye-popping Imperial atrocities, and it seems like they won’t be able to pull themselves together without help. That sounds right, Artoo, just put it in the socket and bleep him.
Gray Squadron, you should all be in your positions soon. We’ll be safest using hand-to-paw combat against the Empire’s gorilla shock troops; something tells me we’d probably take more damage than it’s worth with the arsenal you have here. I know you’re used to firing off these ducklings, but without a trigger their flamethrowing is better suited for fast food than a fast draw, and there’s a good chance that they’ll just backfire. Biological warfare doesn’t look promising, either; trying to use “love goo” will just blow up in our faces. I was good at nailing womp-rats down Beggar’s Canyon back home, but if they were worked up and got some chemistry, these guys could nail anything with the right equipment.
Questions? Sorry, Gray Leader, I don’t think we can lure the gorillas into a trap with braaaaaains, and these squadrons might not have enough to spare. This skirmish will be tough, but I’ve seen you hang in there by the skin of your teeth, whatever way the skin got stuck there, and I know we can clear the Empire out of this area for good. Still, we’ll have to stay sharp. If they ambush you, hold your ground and try not to lose your heads before we can decrypt their attack plans and a backup squad. They may have gorilla tactics, but the Force will be with us. That’s right, the Force - it surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds the Galaxy together.
No, Gray Leader, that doesn’t mean getting help from the tentacles.
Series: Star Wars.
Character age: 23 (immediately post-Return of the Jedi).
Job: Commander of the Anti-Wildlife Rebellion.
Canon: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a farmboy named Luke Skywalker left home to rescue a princess from the Dark Lord Darth Vader. But things didn’t end there: to save the Galaxy, Luke would have to fight in the Rebel Alliance against the vicious Galactic Empire and train to become a Jedi Knight, one of the almost-vanished wielders of a mystical energy field called the “Force.” Of course, his family was bound to make this epic quest even tougher: the princess was really his sister, and Vader turned out to be his dad. Only after facing and reforming his father could Luke become a true Jedi, bring down the Empire, and restore peace to the galaxy.
Though Luke begins the series naive and impulsive, he becomes calmer, wiser, and better at coming up with sneaky plans as he and his Jedi powers mature. But underneath it all, Luke is still (in the words of his future wife) “just a farmboy”: idealistic, devoted to his friends and the Rebellion’s cause of galactic freedom, and using his skills to help wherever he can. Note: R2-D2 (“Artoo”) is the beeping robot mechanic and occasional message carrier who accompanies Luke on his adventures.
Greetings, Director Sayre. Allow me to introduce myself: I am Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight. I’ve come seeking the records of a great Jedi, Colonel Sanders, who fried the headless rogue Kentucky Chicken clones many years ago. It’s said that that the Colonel’s work saturated this area of your planet; I ask your permission to study his legacy from your encampment. As a sign of good faith, I offer my services for the duration of my research. Given the situation here, I’m sure I can assist you and your ailing campers’ “anti-gorilla teams” well.
-- and stop, Artoo. Ah, cut off the recording there and try to transmit it to wherever she is in this old swamp, then we can start working with the teams she’s got waiting for us. See if you can help the squads of campers who fell apart on us before I start a briefing; her recruits have seen some eye-popping Imperial atrocities, and it seems like they won’t be able to pull themselves together without help. That sounds right, Artoo, just put it in the socket and bleep him.
Gray Squadron, you should all be in your positions soon. We’ll be safest using hand-to-paw combat against the Empire’s gorilla shock troops; something tells me we’d probably take more damage than it’s worth with the arsenal you have here. I know you’re used to firing off these ducklings, but without a trigger their flamethrowing is better suited for fast food than a fast draw, and there’s a good chance that they’ll just backfire. Biological warfare doesn’t look promising, either; trying to use “love goo” will just blow up in our faces. I was good at nailing womp-rats down Beggar’s Canyon back home, but if they were worked up and got some chemistry, these guys could nail anything with the right equipment.
Questions? Sorry, Gray Leader, I don’t think we can lure the gorillas into a trap with braaaaaains, and these squadrons might not have enough to spare. This skirmish will be tough, but I’ve seen you hang in there by the skin of your teeth, whatever way the skin got stuck there, and I know we can clear the Empire out of this area for good. Still, we’ll have to stay sharp. If they ambush you, hold your ground and try not to lose your heads before we can decrypt their attack plans and a backup squad. They may have gorilla tactics, but the Force will be with us. That’s right, the Force - it surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds the Galaxy together.
No, Gray Leader, that doesn’t mean getting help from the tentacles.