(no subject)
Lately I've been feeling utter confusion and loneliness. Here I am in NYC, one of the most vibrant and over-crowded cities in the world, and yet I feel a great deal of loneliness. I've acquired a job in the media industry that could catalyze a very prospective future, yet I'm extremely complacent and unmotivated due to the struggles of working for a psychopathic boss. I've finally realized the ramifications in the pursuit for success... it becomes meaningless when you have no one to share it with. Success loses its lustre and value if you don't have your close friends to laugh with you during the good times, to encourage you when you feel weary, and to share all the moments throughout this journey we call 'LIFE'.
I've never felt so scared to be alone until I decided to move to NYC. I miss all my dear friends (i.e. Nuffee, JoLo, JeJon, Bex, Smuckers, B, Ash, etc.) and family; and there are so many times I wish I could fly back to Toronto and re-live all the lost moments that I've wanted to share with those dear to my hearts. Yet I know that if I were to go back to Toronto, I will quickly realize that I've become a changed person -- one that is slightly more skeptical and assertive. I guess NYC has that affect on ppl -- in order to survive, it's almost as if we have to become a little more jaded when you want to survive "swimming in a sea of sharks".
Never in my life have I felt so intimidated and alone than at this very moment. I wish all my friends in Toronto could move to NYC -- I truly miss all of you!