Prompts: 12-volatile, 34-crush, 79-steadfast
Title: Moody: My Life With the Winchesters, Part 16A
Author: my_sam_dean
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing/character: John/ofc, Dean/ofc, Sam/ofc
Rating: R (NC-17 for story overall)
Prompt: 12 - volatile, 100 prompts for thought
Notes/Warnings: Warning: One ofc is with each of the Winchesters at separate times. No threesomes. Disclaimer: I own nothing Supernatural. But, Nora is mine. Summary: Nora is acting out of character.
The hours melted into each other in the stuffy interior of the truck. I took off my sweatshirt and laid it by my coat on the seat.
"Too warm?" John automatically moved to adjust the heater.
"Aren't you?"
"No."
I sighed. "How much further do we have to go?"
"Sam's got the map and we're following him and Dean. Do you need to stop?"
"I just want out of this damned truck."
John watched me carefully before answering, "We'll call it an early night. You feeling okay?"
"Not my fault the heater's broke." I laid my head against the window and watched the world whiz by.
***
I got frustrated with the trials of being on the road. After many months, I'd thought it wouldn't ever bother me since it never had. I hated the diners and the standard menu that they all had. I missed having my own kitchen. I wanted to make my grandma's recipe for chocolate chip cookies and didn't even know if it had made it into my suitcase when Sam and John had gone to pack up my belongings.
Sam and Dean returned from interviewing witnesses to find me tossing items out of my bag. Clothes were spread all over the room. I'd left them wherever they landed.
"Um," Sam was the first to speak when they stopped in their tracks, "What are you looking for?"
"I had it on my list. Why didn't you get it if I had it on my list?" I didn't even look up as I kept digging. When I tipped my bag over and shook it to make sure nothing else was inside, I looked up to find both of them staring at me, clearly confused.
"Nora, let us help you find whatever it is that has you so upset."
"It doesn't matter." I wiped at the tears streaming down my face. "It's not here." I turned into a sobbing mess on the floor.
Shrugging, Sam looked at Dean, indicating that it was his turn to try.
Dean crouched down by me. "What's got you so upset?"
I'd forgotten they were there. "Nothing." It was the truth. Compared to what they dealt with every single day, a misplaced recipe that I didn't even have the resources to follow was nothing. "They give you any information?" My head was pounding and I wanted to talk about anything but how I'd been acting.
"A couple stories line up. We have a few more leads."
Sam was picking up what I'd tossed when he asked if I'd seen John.
"He left to talk to the pastor at the church. It was almost two hours ago. He should be back soon." I tried to stop sniffling.
"Do you know what he was after?" Dean was holding my hands and I pulled them free so I could pick up the result of my little tantrum.
"The church records. Burials. Births."
Dean grasped my fluttering hands. "Are you okay?"
I started to cry again. "I don't know."
"You don't know? Did something happen?"
"Why do you think something had to happen? I can take care of myself, you know. I did just fine before I left with you." The mean words not only slipped out, I couldn't make them stop. "Run here. Drive there. Dirty motel rooms and nasty diner food." I stood up as I got wound up. "Everything is rotten. Just get out!"
Sam set the pile of clothes he was holding on the table. "Nora?"
"You heard me! Just get out!"
Stunned, they both left the room, telling me to call them if I needed anything. The door closed and I sunk back down to the floor, wondering what I had just done and why.
***
The big pieces were off the floor when John stopped in later that day. I'd ignored their knocks when they had come to get me for supper. They'd left and I foolishly had thought that I was off the hook and free to wallow in my misery. After all, if they really wanted to get in, they didn't need a key.
"The room looks better than they described but you don't." He put his lockpicks away and approached me on the bed. I was surrounded by a pile of tissues. He pushed some away and took a seat. "What's going on, Nora? You're just not you lately." He rubbed my back and I let myself lean into him.
"I know I'm not. I don't know why."
"You seemed fine before I left," he looked across the room instead of at me, allowing me to tuck my head against his shoulder.
"I don't know what's wrong with me or why I'm doing all this stupid crying. Maybe I just need some time to myself."
"Really? Time alone didn't seem to help you today."
"I hate to ask, but can you sleep with the guys tonight?" I felt him tense up. "Just for tonight, I promise. It'll all look better in the morning."
"You sure?"
I nodded and tried to give him a small smile. "I just needed to have my little freak out. I'll be fine."
"You can call-"
"I know I can." I kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry for how I acted. Can you tell Sam and Dean for me?"
"They aren't looking for an apology, Nora. They want you to be happy. No matter what it takes, we want you to be happy. I didn't realize how much we depend on you until you were absent from our lives for a few hours today. Let's just say that there wasn't much talking during our meal. Do you need anything before I go?"
"A hug?"
John stood and drew me to him. "Get a good night's sleep and we'll be by in the morning. Unless you want to sleep in?"
"I'll probably be up early. In case I'm not, here's a key." I grabbed it off the top of the television.
He gratefully took the key that he didn't really need but would make his life easier. "Goodnight, Nora."
"Night." I called after him as he closed the door behind him. In the silence of my room, I tried to pull myself together. I was doing better and then fell to pieces again. I finally fell asleep after midnight when I'd cried myself out.
Title: Emergency: My Life With the Winchesters, Part 16B
Author: my_sam_dean
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing/character: John/ofc, Dean/ofc, Sam/ofc
Rating: R (NC-17 for story overall)
Prompt: 34 - crush, 100 prompts for thought
Notes/Warnings: Warning: One ofc is with each of the Winchesters at separate times. No threesomes. Possible triggering material. Disclaimer: I own nothing Supernatural. But, Nora is mine. Summary: Missouri calls John with a warning. They make a trip to the emergency room..
Ringing tempted to wake the three hunters. John was jolted out of sleep by getting smacked with his own phone.
“Yeah?” he rubbed his eyes and turned on a light just in time to see Sam crawling back into bed.
“John, you go get that child right now. Bring her into the hospital. Now, John!”
“Missouri?” John’s confusion grew when Missouri was talking about a child. He glanced around the room to reassure himself that, yes, his boys were grown. On top of that, they were boys.
“Get Nora and go now.”
“What’s going--”
“Just go!” Missouri hung up the phone before her words totally sunk through John’s fuzzy mind.
No sooner had his feet hit the floor than he was yelling out orders to Sam and Dean. He scrambled into his clothes didn’t even bother tying his boots. The laces slapped as he charged out the door, leaving it to slam in his wake.
Although they didn’t catch all of their father’s words, they knew to get dressed and follow him.
***
I squinted my eyes when the ceiling light turned on. I hadn’t been asleep but my eyes still needed to adjust.
John’s footsteps were extra loud as he hurried toward me.
“What’s wrong, Nora?”
“What?” I hadn’t called them. At least, not that I could remember. After bawling my eyes out, I had a difficult time falling asleep because my head and body hurt.
“Missouri called. Are you in pain?”
There was absolutely no connection I could make between those two sentences. At that point, Sam and Dean came charging through my door as well.
“I walked into the door,” I stated.
Sam interrupted to ask John, “Who called?”
“Missouri. She said to bring Nora to the hospital.”
“Then what are we waiting for?” Dean grabbed a corner of the covers and started to bundle me in them. “Let’s go.”
It was a blur until I tried to sit up and had a sharp pain cross my chest to my shoulder. It took my breath away.
“What is it?” Dean stopped moving around me.
“Thought I was just sore. Hurts to breathe.” I forced the words out separately.
Quickly, I was wrapped up and carried to the car. In the front seat, I could see John driving and Sam helping him navigate. That meant that Dean was the one holding me upright. John squealed to a stop outside the door, got out of the car, and took me from Dean. I clung to him as he ran through the doors.
Sam and Dean stayed behind in the waiting room when John came with me into the exam room. Someone tried to tell him that he had to leave, but that only happened once. The thunderous look on his face discouraged anyone else to try.
The young doctor stepped in with the results from the labs he’d ordered. “I’d like you to step out while I examine my patient.”
“No.”
He tried another tactic to figure out exactly who John was to me. “And you are?”
“John.”
That gave him zero information. “I have to insist for patient confidentiality.”
“No.”
“He’s family. It’s fine.” I took John’s hand and looked back up at the doctor.
Seeing our linked hands made the doctor more at ease. “Okay. We have some of your labs back. Did you know that you’re pregnant?”
“What?” I moved too quickly and groaned as John helped the doctor ease me back lying down.
“I’ll take that as a no.”
“We would have said something,” John insisted.
Doctor whoever replied with a slight nod and then asked, “And the bruising came about how, exactly?”
“Clumsy. Walked into door.” I knew it sounded like a lie but I hurt too bad to make up something more believable. “Can’t be pregnant. Depo shot.”
“No birth control is one hundred percent effective.”
“I’m not late.”
“There can be some bleeding during pregnancy that can be mistaken as a period. Now, how is your breathing?”
“Little better. Shoulder hurts.”
Dr. Doogie stepped up to the cot. “Let’s see why.”
I had expected a huge black and blue mark. There was nothing on the skin.
“As long as your breathing is easier, we’ll do an ultrasound. Then, we can work on the shoulder. Sound good?”
I nodded. “Can Sam and Dean come back?”
“And they are--”
“In the waiting room. They’re family.” John asserted on my behalf.
The doctor knew not to go asking for trouble. “The nurse will bring them back. I’ll check in later.”
The door closed and all was silent.
“A baby.” John thought out loud. “That’s different.”
I looked at him like he’d lost his mind. “Different?”
“Not what I expected.”
“Me neither.” He kissed the back of my hand.
“Are you happy?”
“Depends. Are you? Sam? Dean?” My eyes welled up with tears.
“Shh. Babies are a good thing.”
“Really?”
“Whatever you want to do, Nora. We can make it work.”
We were interrupted when the guys came in.
“What’s wrong?” Dean skipped asking me how I was when he saw my fresh tears and John’s shell-shocked face.
“Pregnant.” I dreaded their reaction especially since I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.
Absolute quiet.
“We’re all adults and knew this could happen,” John had recovered enough to take control of the situation.
Sam was smart but he still put his foot in his mouth and swallowed it. “Whose baby is it?”
I tried not to let my jaw drop. I had been depending on the shots for birth control with all of them. There was no way of knowing just then who the father was.
John set the tone with just three words, “All of ours.”
Sam was the first to give me hug and tell me that is was wonderful to be having a baby.
Although Dean said essentially the same words, they didn’t sound as positive as Sam’s had.
The awkward moment was over when the technician rolled the ultrasound in. Just the idea of seeing the baby, my baby, occupied my mind. The excitement forced doubts and concerns away.
“Are you ready?” The tech asked.
“Yeah.” I had a big smile on my face as I looked around and got encouraging looks from all three men.
The technician moved the wand, clicked some keys and scrunched up his face. He quickly left the room.
My good feeling left, knowing that abrupt retreat couldn’t bring the news that I was just realizing I wanted to hear.
“Maybe he just can’t get a clear view,” Sam offered.
The rest of us stayed quiet.
The doctor came in and looked at the image frozen on the screen. He moved the probe around a little more and shut off the machine.
“You have an etopic pregnancy.”
I had no clue what he meant.
“You need surgery to fix it and avoid any more internal bleeding. The bleeding could be causing your shoulder pain and breathing problems.” He finished and looked like he expected a response.
John caught on quicker than the rest of us. “Fix it? What happens to the baby?”
“I’m sorry to say that there is no baby. It’s not a viable pregnancy.”
“But you said--” I couldn’t finish.
“I’ll get you scheduled for surgery. You might still be able to go home tomorrow.” He glanced at all four pairs of eyes trained on him. “Once again, I’m sorry.”
I closed my eyes and shut the world out.
Title: Aftermath: My Life With the Winchesters, Part 16C
Author: my_sam_dean
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing/character: John/ofc, Dean/ofc, Sam/ofc
Rating: R (NC-17 for story overall)
Prompt: 79 - steadfast, 100 prompts for thought
Notes/Warnings: Warning: One ofc is with each of the Winchesters at separate times. No threesomes. Possible triggering material. Disclaimer: I own nothing Supernatural. But, Nora is mine. Summary: Everyone deals in their own way. Nora and Sam have a night in. Nora and Dean argue.
A week passed. Then another.
John was supportive but he still felt miles away even when we were in the same bed.
Sam seemed as sad as me. In the short time the idea of a baby had been a possibility, he’d set his heart on it. With the baby gone, he shattered and I was in no condition to help him mend.
Dean just avoided me. The smart alec comments began to sound cruel instead of jesting. He never mentioned a word about that trip to the hospital.
All in all, I felt alone.
Since the shot had failed as birth control and knowing that I could not go through a repeat of events, I went back to pills. I filled as many months as I could when we stopped in a town with a pharmacy that was either big enough to not feel the loss if we paid with fake credit.
John was gone, dealing with he local authorities. The library had swallowed Sam alive trying to figure out their current case. Dean kept busy cleaning guns and sharpening knives when he was left at the motel with me. Needing something to concentrate on, Sam had given me some books that had the basics of hunting. I threw myself into reading them and learning more.
Dean said something that I didn’t catch. “What was that?” I looked at him over my book.
“I asked if you took your pill today.”
“Why would you even ask me that?” I was hurt. After not saying anything for so long, that was what he came up with?
“Considering the recent past, it’s a valid question,” he stated with a calm voice, still working on the weapons.
I marched over and nearly shoved him off his chair. “How dare you! Do you think I somehow orchestrated this situation all by myself? I think I’ve been patient with you. I’ve ignored your pissy attitude but you’ve gone too far.” I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. “The baby is gone. There was a thirty-three percent chance that you were the actual father. But, I know for damn sure that the baby was mine.”
Stunned, Dean couldn’t do much more than stare at me. He looked like a fish as he tried to think of what to say.
“Get out. I don’t need this. Get out.”
I turned on my heel and went to the only refuge the motel offered, the bathroom. I listened at the door until I heard him leave. Then, I sat down on the edge of the tub and regretted what I’d screamed at him.
***
“I thought we’d have a nice evening in.” Sam came knocking with some take out and a couple movies. “I didn’t know what you would want to watch so I picked a few.” He was trying so hard to get back to where we were before.
I welcomed him in and got a whiff of the food. “Chinese?” I asked hopefully.
“You bet.” He set the containers down, and opened up the silverware. “This case is a tough one to crack so I decided to take the night off. We haven’t had an actual date in such a long time.”
“We’ve had dates?” I smiled at the thought.
“Well, sorta. Whenever we were alone was a date even when we didn’t go anywhere. I’d love to take you out drinking or dancing if that’s what you like doing. Maybe we could find a museum or other cultural place to visit. It could be fun.”
“I’m only up for having our dates in. Going out sounds fun but I’m just not there yet.”
“There’s no rush. We should get to eating our grub here. It goes cold way too fast. Dig in.”
For a few hours, I was lighthearted Nora once again. I was safe in Sam’s arms and he kept whispering all the wonderful things about me in my ear.
The movies ended late. John had come to ask Sam a question about a symbol. Sam was going to leave to find it for him.
“Have you seen Dean?” I asked.
“He was in our room when I went out to get the movies and food. I don’t think he’s there anymore.”
I nodded. “There were some harsh words I said.”
“He’s had some harsh words of his own lately.”
“Where do you think he went?”
“Watering hole,” Sam replied. He could see the wheels turning in my mind. “Do you want me to escort you there?”
“No. I’ll be fine. By the time you and John figure out that symbol, I’ll probably be back and sound asleep.”
“If you say so.” He gave me a quick kiss on his way out the door.
***
I fussed in front of the mirror trying to make sure I looked okay to go out. There was no way to cover how pale I was with bags under my eyes. My clothes hung a little on my frame since I hadn't been able to eat. I made myself look as presentable as I could and decided it would have to be good enough.
When I opened the door to the bar, I was overwhelmed with the cloud of smoke and blaring music. I stepped in the door and to the side until my eyes could adjust. I scanned the room and saw several women that were dressed to the nines. I stood there in my jeans and boots and thought about turning tail and running. Then, I remembered that I'd come there for a reason, and I had an apology to make.
Dean was sitting at a booth in the corner all by himself. He was staring into his empty mug like it was a crystal ball. He looked so forlorn that my heart ached for him. I took a deep breath and forced myself to cross the distance to the booth and slide in the opposite seat.
Dean didn't even look up.
"I'm sorry," I squeaked. I cleared my throat and tried again. "I shouldn't have exploded at you. I'm sorry."
I sat there waiting for some kind of response. Dean sat there wordlessly for a few minutes that seemed like a lifetime. Then, he stood and I just knew that I'd lost him. My stomach dropped and I began to wonder where I should start my life over because surely John and Sam wouldn't want me around anymore if I was causing problems.
My tears fell on the table. I felt adrift and totally lost.
Then, a rough hand was extended into my line of vision along with a deep, "Let's go." I felt relieved when his warm hand closed around mine and let him help me to my feet. He put his arm around me as we wove through the crowd to the exit.
Author: my_sam_dean
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing/character: John/ofc, Dean/ofc, Sam/ofc
Rating: R (NC-17 for story overall)
Prompt: 12 - volatile, 100 prompts for thought
Notes/Warnings: Warning: One ofc is with each of the Winchesters at separate times. No threesomes. Disclaimer: I own nothing Supernatural. But, Nora is mine. Summary: Nora is acting out of character.
The hours melted into each other in the stuffy interior of the truck. I took off my sweatshirt and laid it by my coat on the seat.
"Too warm?" John automatically moved to adjust the heater.
"Aren't you?"
"No."
I sighed. "How much further do we have to go?"
"Sam's got the map and we're following him and Dean. Do you need to stop?"
"I just want out of this damned truck."
John watched me carefully before answering, "We'll call it an early night. You feeling okay?"
"Not my fault the heater's broke." I laid my head against the window and watched the world whiz by.
***
I got frustrated with the trials of being on the road. After many months, I'd thought it wouldn't ever bother me since it never had. I hated the diners and the standard menu that they all had. I missed having my own kitchen. I wanted to make my grandma's recipe for chocolate chip cookies and didn't even know if it had made it into my suitcase when Sam and John had gone to pack up my belongings.
Sam and Dean returned from interviewing witnesses to find me tossing items out of my bag. Clothes were spread all over the room. I'd left them wherever they landed.
"Um," Sam was the first to speak when they stopped in their tracks, "What are you looking for?"
"I had it on my list. Why didn't you get it if I had it on my list?" I didn't even look up as I kept digging. When I tipped my bag over and shook it to make sure nothing else was inside, I looked up to find both of them staring at me, clearly confused.
"Nora, let us help you find whatever it is that has you so upset."
"It doesn't matter." I wiped at the tears streaming down my face. "It's not here." I turned into a sobbing mess on the floor.
Shrugging, Sam looked at Dean, indicating that it was his turn to try.
Dean crouched down by me. "What's got you so upset?"
I'd forgotten they were there. "Nothing." It was the truth. Compared to what they dealt with every single day, a misplaced recipe that I didn't even have the resources to follow was nothing. "They give you any information?" My head was pounding and I wanted to talk about anything but how I'd been acting.
"A couple stories line up. We have a few more leads."
Sam was picking up what I'd tossed when he asked if I'd seen John.
"He left to talk to the pastor at the church. It was almost two hours ago. He should be back soon." I tried to stop sniffling.
"Do you know what he was after?" Dean was holding my hands and I pulled them free so I could pick up the result of my little tantrum.
"The church records. Burials. Births."
Dean grasped my fluttering hands. "Are you okay?"
I started to cry again. "I don't know."
"You don't know? Did something happen?"
"Why do you think something had to happen? I can take care of myself, you know. I did just fine before I left with you." The mean words not only slipped out, I couldn't make them stop. "Run here. Drive there. Dirty motel rooms and nasty diner food." I stood up as I got wound up. "Everything is rotten. Just get out!"
Sam set the pile of clothes he was holding on the table. "Nora?"
"You heard me! Just get out!"
Stunned, they both left the room, telling me to call them if I needed anything. The door closed and I sunk back down to the floor, wondering what I had just done and why.
***
The big pieces were off the floor when John stopped in later that day. I'd ignored their knocks when they had come to get me for supper. They'd left and I foolishly had thought that I was off the hook and free to wallow in my misery. After all, if they really wanted to get in, they didn't need a key.
"The room looks better than they described but you don't." He put his lockpicks away and approached me on the bed. I was surrounded by a pile of tissues. He pushed some away and took a seat. "What's going on, Nora? You're just not you lately." He rubbed my back and I let myself lean into him.
"I know I'm not. I don't know why."
"You seemed fine before I left," he looked across the room instead of at me, allowing me to tuck my head against his shoulder.
"I don't know what's wrong with me or why I'm doing all this stupid crying. Maybe I just need some time to myself."
"Really? Time alone didn't seem to help you today."
"I hate to ask, but can you sleep with the guys tonight?" I felt him tense up. "Just for tonight, I promise. It'll all look better in the morning."
"You sure?"
I nodded and tried to give him a small smile. "I just needed to have my little freak out. I'll be fine."
"You can call-"
"I know I can." I kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry for how I acted. Can you tell Sam and Dean for me?"
"They aren't looking for an apology, Nora. They want you to be happy. No matter what it takes, we want you to be happy. I didn't realize how much we depend on you until you were absent from our lives for a few hours today. Let's just say that there wasn't much talking during our meal. Do you need anything before I go?"
"A hug?"
John stood and drew me to him. "Get a good night's sleep and we'll be by in the morning. Unless you want to sleep in?"
"I'll probably be up early. In case I'm not, here's a key." I grabbed it off the top of the television.
He gratefully took the key that he didn't really need but would make his life easier. "Goodnight, Nora."
"Night." I called after him as he closed the door behind him. In the silence of my room, I tried to pull myself together. I was doing better and then fell to pieces again. I finally fell asleep after midnight when I'd cried myself out.
Title: Emergency: My Life With the Winchesters, Part 16B
Author: my_sam_dean
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing/character: John/ofc, Dean/ofc, Sam/ofc
Rating: R (NC-17 for story overall)
Prompt: 34 - crush, 100 prompts for thought
Notes/Warnings: Warning: One ofc is with each of the Winchesters at separate times. No threesomes. Possible triggering material. Disclaimer: I own nothing Supernatural. But, Nora is mine. Summary: Missouri calls John with a warning. They make a trip to the emergency room..
Ringing tempted to wake the three hunters. John was jolted out of sleep by getting smacked with his own phone.
“Yeah?” he rubbed his eyes and turned on a light just in time to see Sam crawling back into bed.
“John, you go get that child right now. Bring her into the hospital. Now, John!”
“Missouri?” John’s confusion grew when Missouri was talking about a child. He glanced around the room to reassure himself that, yes, his boys were grown. On top of that, they were boys.
“Get Nora and go now.”
“What’s going--”
“Just go!” Missouri hung up the phone before her words totally sunk through John’s fuzzy mind.
No sooner had his feet hit the floor than he was yelling out orders to Sam and Dean. He scrambled into his clothes didn’t even bother tying his boots. The laces slapped as he charged out the door, leaving it to slam in his wake.
Although they didn’t catch all of their father’s words, they knew to get dressed and follow him.
***
I squinted my eyes when the ceiling light turned on. I hadn’t been asleep but my eyes still needed to adjust.
John’s footsteps were extra loud as he hurried toward me.
“What’s wrong, Nora?”
“What?” I hadn’t called them. At least, not that I could remember. After bawling my eyes out, I had a difficult time falling asleep because my head and body hurt.
“Missouri called. Are you in pain?”
There was absolutely no connection I could make between those two sentences. At that point, Sam and Dean came charging through my door as well.
“I walked into the door,” I stated.
Sam interrupted to ask John, “Who called?”
“Missouri. She said to bring Nora to the hospital.”
“Then what are we waiting for?” Dean grabbed a corner of the covers and started to bundle me in them. “Let’s go.”
It was a blur until I tried to sit up and had a sharp pain cross my chest to my shoulder. It took my breath away.
“What is it?” Dean stopped moving around me.
“Thought I was just sore. Hurts to breathe.” I forced the words out separately.
Quickly, I was wrapped up and carried to the car. In the front seat, I could see John driving and Sam helping him navigate. That meant that Dean was the one holding me upright. John squealed to a stop outside the door, got out of the car, and took me from Dean. I clung to him as he ran through the doors.
Sam and Dean stayed behind in the waiting room when John came with me into the exam room. Someone tried to tell him that he had to leave, but that only happened once. The thunderous look on his face discouraged anyone else to try.
The young doctor stepped in with the results from the labs he’d ordered. “I’d like you to step out while I examine my patient.”
“No.”
He tried another tactic to figure out exactly who John was to me. “And you are?”
“John.”
That gave him zero information. “I have to insist for patient confidentiality.”
“No.”
“He’s family. It’s fine.” I took John’s hand and looked back up at the doctor.
Seeing our linked hands made the doctor more at ease. “Okay. We have some of your labs back. Did you know that you’re pregnant?”
“What?” I moved too quickly and groaned as John helped the doctor ease me back lying down.
“I’ll take that as a no.”
“We would have said something,” John insisted.
Doctor whoever replied with a slight nod and then asked, “And the bruising came about how, exactly?”
“Clumsy. Walked into door.” I knew it sounded like a lie but I hurt too bad to make up something more believable. “Can’t be pregnant. Depo shot.”
“No birth control is one hundred percent effective.”
“I’m not late.”
“There can be some bleeding during pregnancy that can be mistaken as a period. Now, how is your breathing?”
“Little better. Shoulder hurts.”
Dr. Doogie stepped up to the cot. “Let’s see why.”
I had expected a huge black and blue mark. There was nothing on the skin.
“As long as your breathing is easier, we’ll do an ultrasound. Then, we can work on the shoulder. Sound good?”
I nodded. “Can Sam and Dean come back?”
“And they are--”
“In the waiting room. They’re family.” John asserted on my behalf.
The doctor knew not to go asking for trouble. “The nurse will bring them back. I’ll check in later.”
The door closed and all was silent.
“A baby.” John thought out loud. “That’s different.”
I looked at him like he’d lost his mind. “Different?”
“Not what I expected.”
“Me neither.” He kissed the back of my hand.
“Are you happy?”
“Depends. Are you? Sam? Dean?” My eyes welled up with tears.
“Shh. Babies are a good thing.”
“Really?”
“Whatever you want to do, Nora. We can make it work.”
We were interrupted when the guys came in.
“What’s wrong?” Dean skipped asking me how I was when he saw my fresh tears and John’s shell-shocked face.
“Pregnant.” I dreaded their reaction especially since I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.
Absolute quiet.
“We’re all adults and knew this could happen,” John had recovered enough to take control of the situation.
Sam was smart but he still put his foot in his mouth and swallowed it. “Whose baby is it?”
I tried not to let my jaw drop. I had been depending on the shots for birth control with all of them. There was no way of knowing just then who the father was.
John set the tone with just three words, “All of ours.”
Sam was the first to give me hug and tell me that is was wonderful to be having a baby.
Although Dean said essentially the same words, they didn’t sound as positive as Sam’s had.
The awkward moment was over when the technician rolled the ultrasound in. Just the idea of seeing the baby, my baby, occupied my mind. The excitement forced doubts and concerns away.
“Are you ready?” The tech asked.
“Yeah.” I had a big smile on my face as I looked around and got encouraging looks from all three men.
The technician moved the wand, clicked some keys and scrunched up his face. He quickly left the room.
My good feeling left, knowing that abrupt retreat couldn’t bring the news that I was just realizing I wanted to hear.
“Maybe he just can’t get a clear view,” Sam offered.
The rest of us stayed quiet.
The doctor came in and looked at the image frozen on the screen. He moved the probe around a little more and shut off the machine.
“You have an etopic pregnancy.”
I had no clue what he meant.
“You need surgery to fix it and avoid any more internal bleeding. The bleeding could be causing your shoulder pain and breathing problems.” He finished and looked like he expected a response.
John caught on quicker than the rest of us. “Fix it? What happens to the baby?”
“I’m sorry to say that there is no baby. It’s not a viable pregnancy.”
“But you said--” I couldn’t finish.
“I’ll get you scheduled for surgery. You might still be able to go home tomorrow.” He glanced at all four pairs of eyes trained on him. “Once again, I’m sorry.”
I closed my eyes and shut the world out.
Title: Aftermath: My Life With the Winchesters, Part 16C
Author: my_sam_dean
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing/character: John/ofc, Dean/ofc, Sam/ofc
Rating: R (NC-17 for story overall)
Prompt: 79 - steadfast, 100 prompts for thought
Notes/Warnings: Warning: One ofc is with each of the Winchesters at separate times. No threesomes. Possible triggering material. Disclaimer: I own nothing Supernatural. But, Nora is mine. Summary: Everyone deals in their own way. Nora and Sam have a night in. Nora and Dean argue.
A week passed. Then another.
John was supportive but he still felt miles away even when we were in the same bed.
Sam seemed as sad as me. In the short time the idea of a baby had been a possibility, he’d set his heart on it. With the baby gone, he shattered and I was in no condition to help him mend.
Dean just avoided me. The smart alec comments began to sound cruel instead of jesting. He never mentioned a word about that trip to the hospital.
All in all, I felt alone.
Since the shot had failed as birth control and knowing that I could not go through a repeat of events, I went back to pills. I filled as many months as I could when we stopped in a town with a pharmacy that was either big enough to not feel the loss if we paid with fake credit.
John was gone, dealing with he local authorities. The library had swallowed Sam alive trying to figure out their current case. Dean kept busy cleaning guns and sharpening knives when he was left at the motel with me. Needing something to concentrate on, Sam had given me some books that had the basics of hunting. I threw myself into reading them and learning more.
Dean said something that I didn’t catch. “What was that?” I looked at him over my book.
“I asked if you took your pill today.”
“Why would you even ask me that?” I was hurt. After not saying anything for so long, that was what he came up with?
“Considering the recent past, it’s a valid question,” he stated with a calm voice, still working on the weapons.
I marched over and nearly shoved him off his chair. “How dare you! Do you think I somehow orchestrated this situation all by myself? I think I’ve been patient with you. I’ve ignored your pissy attitude but you’ve gone too far.” I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. “The baby is gone. There was a thirty-three percent chance that you were the actual father. But, I know for damn sure that the baby was mine.”
Stunned, Dean couldn’t do much more than stare at me. He looked like a fish as he tried to think of what to say.
“Get out. I don’t need this. Get out.”
I turned on my heel and went to the only refuge the motel offered, the bathroom. I listened at the door until I heard him leave. Then, I sat down on the edge of the tub and regretted what I’d screamed at him.
***
“I thought we’d have a nice evening in.” Sam came knocking with some take out and a couple movies. “I didn’t know what you would want to watch so I picked a few.” He was trying so hard to get back to where we were before.
I welcomed him in and got a whiff of the food. “Chinese?” I asked hopefully.
“You bet.” He set the containers down, and opened up the silverware. “This case is a tough one to crack so I decided to take the night off. We haven’t had an actual date in such a long time.”
“We’ve had dates?” I smiled at the thought.
“Well, sorta. Whenever we were alone was a date even when we didn’t go anywhere. I’d love to take you out drinking or dancing if that’s what you like doing. Maybe we could find a museum or other cultural place to visit. It could be fun.”
“I’m only up for having our dates in. Going out sounds fun but I’m just not there yet.”
“There’s no rush. We should get to eating our grub here. It goes cold way too fast. Dig in.”
For a few hours, I was lighthearted Nora once again. I was safe in Sam’s arms and he kept whispering all the wonderful things about me in my ear.
The movies ended late. John had come to ask Sam a question about a symbol. Sam was going to leave to find it for him.
“Have you seen Dean?” I asked.
“He was in our room when I went out to get the movies and food. I don’t think he’s there anymore.”
I nodded. “There were some harsh words I said.”
“He’s had some harsh words of his own lately.”
“Where do you think he went?”
“Watering hole,” Sam replied. He could see the wheels turning in my mind. “Do you want me to escort you there?”
“No. I’ll be fine. By the time you and John figure out that symbol, I’ll probably be back and sound asleep.”
“If you say so.” He gave me a quick kiss on his way out the door.
***
I fussed in front of the mirror trying to make sure I looked okay to go out. There was no way to cover how pale I was with bags under my eyes. My clothes hung a little on my frame since I hadn't been able to eat. I made myself look as presentable as I could and decided it would have to be good enough.
When I opened the door to the bar, I was overwhelmed with the cloud of smoke and blaring music. I stepped in the door and to the side until my eyes could adjust. I scanned the room and saw several women that were dressed to the nines. I stood there in my jeans and boots and thought about turning tail and running. Then, I remembered that I'd come there for a reason, and I had an apology to make.
Dean was sitting at a booth in the corner all by himself. He was staring into his empty mug like it was a crystal ball. He looked so forlorn that my heart ached for him. I took a deep breath and forced myself to cross the distance to the booth and slide in the opposite seat.
Dean didn't even look up.
"I'm sorry," I squeaked. I cleared my throat and tried again. "I shouldn't have exploded at you. I'm sorry."
I sat there waiting for some kind of response. Dean sat there wordlessly for a few minutes that seemed like a lifetime. Then, he stood and I just knew that I'd lost him. My stomach dropped and I began to wonder where I should start my life over because surely John and Sam wouldn't want me around anymore if I was causing problems.
My tears fell on the table. I felt adrift and totally lost.
Then, a rough hand was extended into my line of vision along with a deep, "Let's go." I felt relieved when his warm hand closed around mine and let him help me to my feet. He put his arm around me as we wove through the crowd to the exit.