FIC - What Now? 10/10
title: What Now? 10/10
pairing: Sam/Dean
rating: R/NC-17 eventually, there will be Wincest at some point
summary: Pre-series. Sam ends up with a baby, and copes as long as he can on his own.
A/N: I hope I have ended this story in a way that is satisfying to all of you wonderful friends who’ve been following it.
“So, uh, we just did that.”
Dean wasn’t sure what to say, lying there naked on a futon next to his thoroughly fucked brother, so he just replied, “Yep. We did.”
“You’re not going to, like, flip your lid and disappear in the morning or anything, right?”
“Don’t think so. You’re not going to get all angsty and toss me out on my ass in the morning, right?”
“Nope. I’m too happy that I don’t have to pretend about this anymore.”
“Glad to hear it, Samantha”, Dean responded. “Seriously, though, me too. It was a pain in the ass trying to not stare at you when you came out of the shower in just a towel.”
“I hear you on that, man. Things don’t have to be weird. Like you said before, we can have this if we want it. And we want it. So, you know. We can have it.”
“Course we can, Sammy.”
Sam had scooted onto his side and was still holding onto Dean, but with enough distance so that they could look at each other while they had their first post-incest conversation. He’d thought it might be awkward, but surprisingly enough, it was kind of casual, like there was this space where they could be together and still be brothers.
“There’s no way we can make this completely un-complicated, you know that, right? I mean, Dad’s going to be here next month for Thanksgiving, and my guess is that announcing that we’re sleeping together might not be something he’ll include on the things for which he is thankful this year.”
Dean laughed, really laughed. “Yeah, I don’t think we need to let him in on that bit of information. He’s got enough cardiac risk factors as it is.”
They were both quiet for a long while, still pressed against each other and trying to figure out what to do next.
“I should go to bed. Can’t be out here in case the baby wakes up.”
“This place isn’t exactly spacious, Sam. We’ll hear him if he cries. Just stay. I mean, unless you”
“Fuck, shut up, no, I’d rather stay here with you. I can get into bed when your alarm goes off in the morning.”
Christ, the alarm. Dean had to be to work at 6am and it was already closing in on 2:00. “Shit, it’s late. I should try to get in at least a little sleep before I have to spend the day changing sheets and feeding sick people.”
“Sorry, man. Let’s both try to get some rest, all right?” Sam manhandled Dean so that he was facing the opposite direction and pulled him close with an arm around his chest.
“Why am I the little spoon? I’m older”, Dean said sleepily, without much complaint evident in his words.
“Because I’m bigger, dumbass. Now go to sleep.” Sam kissed the back of Dean’s neck and folded their knees together.
Dean didn’t mind at all, which meant nothing in terms of how manly he was. No shame in being the little spoon sometimes, right?
Sometimes. Which meant this was going to happen again. That was the jist of their conversation, that this wasn’t a one-time deal. Neither of them were losing their marbles over it. That was certainly a positive sign.
So, this was their life. Cooking, working, occasional hunting. Changing diapers, playing with Jay, taking walks to the park. Paying bills, having arguments about whose turn it was to take the laundry down to the washers and dryers in the basement. Having sex. A lot of sex.
Dean had started looking into taking classes for an EMT certification, and was still badgering Sam about school. For his part, Sam had promised to contact the admissions office at Stanford about being re-admitted part time, at least for one or two night classes a semester, starting the next fall and not in January, as Dean had hoped.
“That’s not enough time. What if I can’t get my scholarship reinstated?”
“You can get some more of that financial aid, like you got when” Aw, hell. He hadn’t meant to bring that up, and his face betrayed his feelings.
“It’s okay, Dean, I know what I did. And you’re right, that’s always an option, though it’ll put me in debt up to my eyeballs.”
“You’ll pay it off when you’re a hotshot lawyer, kid. Don’t worry about that now. I meant what I said when I first got here. You worked your ever-loving ass off, against every obstacle that was thrown at you, to get yourself a college education. I’m not going to sit here and watch you give up on that. So you can’t go to school full-time, fine, it might take longer than you expected. But you can make it happen. We can make it happen.
A couple of weeks later, Sam rushed in the front door babbling something incoherent. “Slow down, dude, what’s going on?”
“He said da-da. Seriously. I mean it this time, he really said it. Jay. Come on. Da-da. Say da-da.”
“Da-da”, Jay repeated. “Da-da-da-da-da-da.”
“That’s right, little man, I’m your da-da. I’m your daddy”, Sam replied, pointing at himself.
Jay stuck out his finger and pressed it into Sam’s chest. “Da-da.”
Both brothers weren’t ashamed to admit they felt their hearts melting.
Sam handed the baby over to his uncle (they still hadn’t decided how they were going to explain the relationship, but they had time), beaming that teeth-and-dimples grin that never failed to make Dean’s stomach do little flips.
Jay looked up at him and did that poking thing with his finger again.
“De”
No freaking way.
Dean’s life kicked ass. He had a flashback of Sammy tugging at his hand when he was barely old enough to walk, his face dirty and his hair in his eyes already. “De. Run!”
He never wanted to run with anything the way he wanted to run with this, his brother and his nephew, who he was thinking of more as a son with each passing day. He was never leaving. Never, never, not fucking ever.