FIC - Who's Going To Tell?
Title: Who’s Going To Tell?
Rating: PG-13-ish, maybe?
W/C: ~1300
Pairing: Sam/Cas
Summary: just a tiny thing I wrote for the Sassy Comment Fic Meme about Cas agreeing to tell Dean about Sam and Castiel’s relationship in exchange for Sam being the one to break the news to Balthazar.
"Come on, Cas, please? If I tell him, he'll make fun of me. He'll call me your bitch and say that he bets I'm always the bottom and laugh. If you do it, he'll be all supportive and compassionate."
Castiel was clearly disturbed by this turn of the conversation. "Dean will think less of you due to the nature of our relationship? I find that highly unlikely. Is there something wrong with always being ‘on the bottom’? Because normally, you are actually-"
Sam cut him off there, hoping that wouldn’t actually come up if Cas talked to Dean. "No, he won't, really, but that's what he'll say, at first, because it's what he does. It's what we do, him and me, we're brothers and brothers poke fun at each other and try to make jokes out of serious things and...it's just how we are, you know that."
"You are not embarrassed about what we have together, then? You just don't want to be the first one who tells your brother about it. So you want me to do it."
"Yeah. Please? That way he'll have time to process it and maybe be a little less of an ass when he and I talk about things."
"I understand. And if that is what you wish, I will do so immediately. However, it's only fair for you to do the same."
The look on Castiel's face had Sam a little worried about that comment. "You want me to talk to - your brother?"
"Yes.", was Castiel's reply, his voice even and his eyes serious.
"Oh - okay, but, uh, you'll have to be a bit more specific, it's not like you only have one brother. And you’d have to arrange a meeting. And also, if you wouldn’t mind, maybe pick one of the less scary ones for me to talk to?” Sam blushed as he asked that last question.
“I can arrange a meeting. And I don’t believe you’ve found Balthazar to be, as you said, scary, in our previous encounters with him.”
Balthazar? Christ, he was just as smartassy and sarcastic as Dean. Oh, this was gonna be fantastic. It was a fair agreement, though, so Sam nodded. “All right. I’ll talk to Balthazar, you talk to Dean.”
“As you wish”, Castiel replied, and disappeared without another word.
Sam figured Cas’ conversation with Balthazar must have been telepathic, because he’d barely had a minute to sit down and clear his mind before the rustle of wings heralded the arrival of The Angel of V-neck Shirts and Creative Insults.
“Castiel asked me to come here and speak with you, told me that his friend The Incredible Hulk had something important to discuss with me. I certainly hope it is important, I am busy, you know.”
With a heavy sigh, Sam asked Balthazar to sit, and started talking. Well, babbling anyway. “Cas asked me to talk to you, because he’s talking to Dean, and - I don’t know, I guess he thought it was a fair trade, since you’re his brother, and we didn’t want to be sneaky, like we were hiding things, or whatever, and I hope you’re not gonna smite me or some shit, just try to-”
“You’re fucking him. Father in Heaven, you’re sleeping with my brother? Are you serious? How long has this been going on?”
“Just a few weeks. Don’t freak out, and please don’t kill me, I’m not just fucking him, I like him, we’re, like, you know, we like each other, really, a lot, it’s not some casual thing, I swear.” Sam wasn’t sure what to say next, because he really did see a hint of smitey-ness in Balthazar’s eyes for a minute there.
“I’m not going to kill you, gracious, you’re such a pansy for a man your size. I believe you, I don’t think you’re having some meaningless fling, else neither of you would have bothered telling anyone about it. But don’t get on the wrong side of me, boy. Hurt him and you will know all kinds of new definitions of the word ‘hurt’. Understand what I’m saying?”
“Yeah, yes, of course. Just - are you all right with this? You’re not angry?”
“I won’t be angry unless you give me reason to be angry. Which I’m certain you won’t, because there’s still some sense of self-preservation left in you. Keep my brother happy and you’ll keep me happy. Fuck him over and you’ll wish you’d never been born.”
With that, he was gone, and Sam breathed a sigh of relief. Kind of.
At the same time as that conversation had begun, Castiel appeared beside Dean as he was shaking it off at the urinal in the men’s room of a local bar. “Jesus fucking - Cas! Damn it!” He tucked himself back in and looked at Cas behind him in the cracked mirror as he washed his hands. “What’s so urgent you gotta show up while I’m taking a piss? I’m cleaning up at the pool table and there’s a hot redhead out there who’s been giving me the eye all night, so this better be good.”
“It is good”, responded Cas, with a smile. “I’ve come to tell you that your brother and I are engaged in a romantic relationship. We’re both very happy, but he was convinced that you would mock him regarding things like being a bitch and our preferred sexual positions if he was to inform you himself, so he asked me to do it.”
Dean turned around and let the water drip off his wet hands, staring blankly at Castiel.
Not surprisingly, Cas just stared right back.
“You and Sam? You’re - a thing?”
“You think of me as a ‘thing’?” Castiel’s face looked like Dean had just run over his dog, put the car in reverse, and then run it over again, just for spite.
“No, God, no, it’s just an expression, Cas. I mean, you and Sam are together? Like, a couple?”
“Yes, that is an accurate description. We are very happy together, and we didn’t want to hide it from you. Sam was under the impression, though, that if he was the one who told you, you would ‘be a dick’ about it.”
“Well, it’s what we do, most of the time. We don’t really mean it.”
Castiel sighed, a long-suffering, human-enduring sigh. He wasn’t sure he’d ever fully understand most human interaction. “That’s what he said as well. But you don’t seem angry or upset to me.”
“I’m not. I’m surprised. It’s weird, yeah, but - if you say the two of you are happy, then that’s all I really need to know.”
“You have no objection to us carrying on with our sexual relationship, then?”
Dean rubbed a still-wet hand across his face. “Christ, Cas, do you have to - just don’t talk about the sex part, okay?”
“Of course. I am only attempting to ensure you that Sam and I care very much for each other.”
“Good. Ok, that’s - that’s good. Just…look, I know you could turn me to ash in a second if you wanted to, but don’t you hurt him, Cas. I mean it.
That got him one of those curious head-tilting looks, and then a nod of understanding. “I have no intention of hurting Sam in any emotional way. However, it does seem that he enjoys a certain amount of-”
“Enough! I said no talking about the sex stuff! I’m just saying, don’t break his heart, you know, like, the regular human heartbreaking way. Because seriously, I will find a way to damage you.”
“I believe you. And I have no intention of doing so. I’ll leave you to your borderline illegal activities.” With that, he was gone, and Dean was left standing in the men’s room, more determined than ever to get into the pants of that redhead at the bar.
Rating: PG-13-ish, maybe?
W/C: ~1300
Pairing: Sam/Cas
Summary: just a tiny thing I wrote for the Sassy Comment Fic Meme about Cas agreeing to tell Dean about Sam and Castiel’s relationship in exchange for Sam being the one to break the news to Balthazar.
"Come on, Cas, please? If I tell him, he'll make fun of me. He'll call me your bitch and say that he bets I'm always the bottom and laugh. If you do it, he'll be all supportive and compassionate."
Castiel was clearly disturbed by this turn of the conversation. "Dean will think less of you due to the nature of our relationship? I find that highly unlikely. Is there something wrong with always being ‘on the bottom’? Because normally, you are actually-"
Sam cut him off there, hoping that wouldn’t actually come up if Cas talked to Dean. "No, he won't, really, but that's what he'll say, at first, because it's what he does. It's what we do, him and me, we're brothers and brothers poke fun at each other and try to make jokes out of serious things and...it's just how we are, you know that."
"You are not embarrassed about what we have together, then? You just don't want to be the first one who tells your brother about it. So you want me to do it."
"Yeah. Please? That way he'll have time to process it and maybe be a little less of an ass when he and I talk about things."
"I understand. And if that is what you wish, I will do so immediately. However, it's only fair for you to do the same."
The look on Castiel's face had Sam a little worried about that comment. "You want me to talk to - your brother?"
"Yes.", was Castiel's reply, his voice even and his eyes serious.
"Oh - okay, but, uh, you'll have to be a bit more specific, it's not like you only have one brother. And you’d have to arrange a meeting. And also, if you wouldn’t mind, maybe pick one of the less scary ones for me to talk to?” Sam blushed as he asked that last question.
“I can arrange a meeting. And I don’t believe you’ve found Balthazar to be, as you said, scary, in our previous encounters with him.”
Balthazar? Christ, he was just as smartassy and sarcastic as Dean. Oh, this was gonna be fantastic. It was a fair agreement, though, so Sam nodded. “All right. I’ll talk to Balthazar, you talk to Dean.”
“As you wish”, Castiel replied, and disappeared without another word.
Sam figured Cas’ conversation with Balthazar must have been telepathic, because he’d barely had a minute to sit down and clear his mind before the rustle of wings heralded the arrival of The Angel of V-neck Shirts and Creative Insults.
“Castiel asked me to come here and speak with you, told me that his friend The Incredible Hulk had something important to discuss with me. I certainly hope it is important, I am busy, you know.”
With a heavy sigh, Sam asked Balthazar to sit, and started talking. Well, babbling anyway. “Cas asked me to talk to you, because he’s talking to Dean, and - I don’t know, I guess he thought it was a fair trade, since you’re his brother, and we didn’t want to be sneaky, like we were hiding things, or whatever, and I hope you’re not gonna smite me or some shit, just try to-”
“You’re fucking him. Father in Heaven, you’re sleeping with my brother? Are you serious? How long has this been going on?”
“Just a few weeks. Don’t freak out, and please don’t kill me, I’m not just fucking him, I like him, we’re, like, you know, we like each other, really, a lot, it’s not some casual thing, I swear.” Sam wasn’t sure what to say next, because he really did see a hint of smitey-ness in Balthazar’s eyes for a minute there.
“I’m not going to kill you, gracious, you’re such a pansy for a man your size. I believe you, I don’t think you’re having some meaningless fling, else neither of you would have bothered telling anyone about it. But don’t get on the wrong side of me, boy. Hurt him and you will know all kinds of new definitions of the word ‘hurt’. Understand what I’m saying?”
“Yeah, yes, of course. Just - are you all right with this? You’re not angry?”
“I won’t be angry unless you give me reason to be angry. Which I’m certain you won’t, because there’s still some sense of self-preservation left in you. Keep my brother happy and you’ll keep me happy. Fuck him over and you’ll wish you’d never been born.”
With that, he was gone, and Sam breathed a sigh of relief. Kind of.
At the same time as that conversation had begun, Castiel appeared beside Dean as he was shaking it off at the urinal in the men’s room of a local bar. “Jesus fucking - Cas! Damn it!” He tucked himself back in and looked at Cas behind him in the cracked mirror as he washed his hands. “What’s so urgent you gotta show up while I’m taking a piss? I’m cleaning up at the pool table and there’s a hot redhead out there who’s been giving me the eye all night, so this better be good.”
“It is good”, responded Cas, with a smile. “I’ve come to tell you that your brother and I are engaged in a romantic relationship. We’re both very happy, but he was convinced that you would mock him regarding things like being a bitch and our preferred sexual positions if he was to inform you himself, so he asked me to do it.”
Dean turned around and let the water drip off his wet hands, staring blankly at Castiel.
Not surprisingly, Cas just stared right back.
“You and Sam? You’re - a thing?”
“You think of me as a ‘thing’?” Castiel’s face looked like Dean had just run over his dog, put the car in reverse, and then run it over again, just for spite.
“No, God, no, it’s just an expression, Cas. I mean, you and Sam are together? Like, a couple?”
“Yes, that is an accurate description. We are very happy together, and we didn’t want to hide it from you. Sam was under the impression, though, that if he was the one who told you, you would ‘be a dick’ about it.”
“Well, it’s what we do, most of the time. We don’t really mean it.”
Castiel sighed, a long-suffering, human-enduring sigh. He wasn’t sure he’d ever fully understand most human interaction. “That’s what he said as well. But you don’t seem angry or upset to me.”
“I’m not. I’m surprised. It’s weird, yeah, but - if you say the two of you are happy, then that’s all I really need to know.”
“You have no objection to us carrying on with our sexual relationship, then?”
Dean rubbed a still-wet hand across his face. “Christ, Cas, do you have to - just don’t talk about the sex part, okay?”
“Of course. I am only attempting to ensure you that Sam and I care very much for each other.”
“Good. Ok, that’s - that’s good. Just…look, I know you could turn me to ash in a second if you wanted to, but don’t you hurt him, Cas. I mean it.
That got him one of those curious head-tilting looks, and then a nod of understanding. “I have no intention of hurting Sam in any emotional way. However, it does seem that he enjoys a certain amount of-”
“Enough! I said no talking about the sex stuff! I’m just saying, don’t break his heart, you know, like, the regular human heartbreaking way. Because seriously, I will find a way to damage you.”
“I believe you. And I have no intention of doing so. I’ll leave you to your borderline illegal activities.” With that, he was gone, and Dean was left standing in the men’s room, more determined than ever to get into the pants of that redhead at the bar.