[i'm a bit screwed.]
So, I was social last night! I mean, not that I normally stay at home on the weekends, but this was a bit different.
I went to an open-air production of Much Ado About Nothing in Spokane that happened to feature a lot of my classmates (and one professor) from EWU Theatre. It was a lot of fun! They staged it post-WWII, so all the "soldiers" were in period appropriate costumes and anyone who knows me knows how much I love 40s-era military uniforms.
Yeah, I was swooning on the inside.
The production itself was pretty good. The girl who played Beatrice was... frankly... not, which is sad, because it's Beatrice. Any one of the two girls from Eastern who were in the play would have been perfect. IDK.
I went by myself, but happened to find a few other friends from EWU in the audience from various departments and sat with them. After the play, all us EWU folk went to dinner and had a really great time just hanging out and eating ridiculous bar food.
This is all set up to the main purpose of this post: confusing!boy.
I don't talk about confusing!boy much, but he has been talked about previously here on this journal. To sum up, confusing!boy and I have been friends for about six years, since he started at NIC. We took a lot of classes together, sang in choirs together a lot, and were just generally friendly toward each other. I developed a bit of a crush on him back in '07 during the performance tour our chamber choir went on, but because of other circumstances (age, maturity level, his own confusing relationship status), I left it alone and the crush eventually died down back to the comfortable friendship we'd had before.
Well, confusing!boy made it out to Eastern a few years ago as a vocal performance major, which is great for him because HIS VOICE OMG IT'S SO GORGEOUS. We haven't been in any ensembles together except for the large symphonic choir last spring, but we still run around in the same circles, and he's even taking some theatre classes. Ones I've already taken, but still, SAME CIRCLES.
He came out to watch the play, and came out to dinner with the rest of us. I ended up sitting across from him at the bar, and we spent a good amount of the evening talking about school, old friends we had at NIC, passing anecdotes between us... like the one where he garnered the name "confusing!boy" (of course, he doesn't know that I call him that, AND THAT'S STAYING THAT WAY), and just... sort of falling back into our old routine.
He wasn't going to get any food last night, since he's a little strapped for cash until the end of the month. I happened to have a bit extra, so I offered to spot him a few bucks until he could pay me back, which was all well and good, until the check came. I think I may have given our waitress the wrong impression when I told her that confusing!boy would be on my check, because she asked if we wanted one bag or two for our leftovers. I didn't call her out on it and just asked for two, but I was laughing on the inside, because I knew what she was thinking and how it's been almost four years since that first crush flare-up happened, and I hadn't really thought about it since.
Until now.
Since I wrote about him in that post I linked to, the boy has grown up. He's much more independent, takes better care of himself, and has goals he's aspiring to instead of just being a stereotypical college kid. I also have a lot more respect for him than before, due to circumstances that I know about that he doesn't know I know about. He still can be a bit of a douche, especially when you get him around the other guys in the choir, but he is genuinely a really sweet guy. He even commented as much a few times last night after letting a few douchey remarks slip out, saying he was "comfortable with me".
comfortable with me.
He left a bit early, but before we did, I told him that we should hang out more, because I genuinely miss his company. We made sure we had our updated phone numbers, hugged (for the record: confusing!boy is an EXCELLENT HUGGER), and he left.
So.... yeah.
During the evening, I had asked him if he was still living at the same place he was at the last time I saw him outside of school. He wasn't, and we moved on to a different topic. After dinner, I remembered that he had been living there with his girlfriend, and that he hadn't mentioned her throughout the evening either.
So, I did what any curious person would do - I checked his relationship status, and hers, since I have her friended as well. I'm not on FB very frequently, so I missed the Relationship Status Change between the two of them. He's single, she's attached to someone else.
CUE ME FREAKING THE FUCK OUT.
Because, I care about confusing!boy. I care about him A LOT. I could see that spark of affection grow into something if I let it, but I'm not sure if I want to. I don't know if he even realizes how I've felt for him over the years, because I've been able to keep my feelings about him really super secret, as opposed to when I'm giddy and goofy and otherwise obvious with anyone else I've liked.
I've never tried to push anything, because he's always been in a relationship, when I've cared to notice.
And now he's single.
jfc. *facepalm*
I went to an open-air production of Much Ado About Nothing in Spokane that happened to feature a lot of my classmates (and one professor) from EWU Theatre. It was a lot of fun! They staged it post-WWII, so all the "soldiers" were in period appropriate costumes and anyone who knows me knows how much I love 40s-era military uniforms.
Yeah, I was swooning on the inside.
The production itself was pretty good. The girl who played Beatrice was... frankly... not, which is sad, because it's Beatrice. Any one of the two girls from Eastern who were in the play would have been perfect. IDK.
I went by myself, but happened to find a few other friends from EWU in the audience from various departments and sat with them. After the play, all us EWU folk went to dinner and had a really great time just hanging out and eating ridiculous bar food.
This is all set up to the main purpose of this post: confusing!boy.
I don't talk about confusing!boy much, but he has been talked about previously here on this journal. To sum up, confusing!boy and I have been friends for about six years, since he started at NIC. We took a lot of classes together, sang in choirs together a lot, and were just generally friendly toward each other. I developed a bit of a crush on him back in '07 during the performance tour our chamber choir went on, but because of other circumstances (age, maturity level, his own confusing relationship status), I left it alone and the crush eventually died down back to the comfortable friendship we'd had before.
Well, confusing!boy made it out to Eastern a few years ago as a vocal performance major, which is great for him because HIS VOICE OMG IT'S SO GORGEOUS. We haven't been in any ensembles together except for the large symphonic choir last spring, but we still run around in the same circles, and he's even taking some theatre classes. Ones I've already taken, but still, SAME CIRCLES.
He came out to watch the play, and came out to dinner with the rest of us. I ended up sitting across from him at the bar, and we spent a good amount of the evening talking about school, old friends we had at NIC, passing anecdotes between us... like the one where he garnered the name "confusing!boy" (of course, he doesn't know that I call him that, AND THAT'S STAYING THAT WAY), and just... sort of falling back into our old routine.
He wasn't going to get any food last night, since he's a little strapped for cash until the end of the month. I happened to have a bit extra, so I offered to spot him a few bucks until he could pay me back, which was all well and good, until the check came. I think I may have given our waitress the wrong impression when I told her that confusing!boy would be on my check, because she asked if we wanted one bag or two for our leftovers. I didn't call her out on it and just asked for two, but I was laughing on the inside, because I knew what she was thinking and how it's been almost four years since that first crush flare-up happened, and I hadn't really thought about it since.
Until now.
Since I wrote about him in that post I linked to, the boy has grown up. He's much more independent, takes better care of himself, and has goals he's aspiring to instead of just being a stereotypical college kid. I also have a lot more respect for him than before, due to circumstances that I know about that he doesn't know I know about. He still can be a bit of a douche, especially when you get him around the other guys in the choir, but he is genuinely a really sweet guy. He even commented as much a few times last night after letting a few douchey remarks slip out, saying he was "comfortable with me".
comfortable with me.
He left a bit early, but before we did, I told him that we should hang out more, because I genuinely miss his company. We made sure we had our updated phone numbers, hugged (for the record: confusing!boy is an EXCELLENT HUGGER), and he left.
So.... yeah.
During the evening, I had asked him if he was still living at the same place he was at the last time I saw him outside of school. He wasn't, and we moved on to a different topic. After dinner, I remembered that he had been living there with his girlfriend, and that he hadn't mentioned her throughout the evening either.
So, I did what any curious person would do - I checked his relationship status, and hers, since I have her friended as well. I'm not on FB very frequently, so I missed the Relationship Status Change between the two of them. He's single, she's attached to someone else.
CUE ME FREAKING THE FUCK OUT.
Because, I care about confusing!boy. I care about him A LOT. I could see that spark of affection grow into something if I let it, but I'm not sure if I want to. I don't know if he even realizes how I've felt for him over the years, because I've been able to keep my feelings about him really super secret, as opposed to when I'm giddy and goofy and otherwise obvious with anyone else I've liked.
I've never tried to push anything, because he's always been in a relationship, when I've cared to notice.
And now he's single.
jfc. *facepalm*