Too much.
Today nearly broke me.
It sounds crazy, but I had one of the worst days of my life. I know I panicked, but my mother has been sick, and I was on a train and I couldn't get on to her and after an hour of answering machines and turned off mobiles, a taxi call which specified my name, address and a woman who physically pushed me out of the way, jumped into the cab and refused to leave, and the trip was further than mine so the cab drove off with a semi apologetic look. At this stage I was nearly in tears and visualizing all the things that could be wrong with my mother, who said she would be home to pick me up from the station when I got there. She's come down with shingles on her face, and its followed a nerve to her eye, and that is really dangerous, and I'm thinking she's stuck and can't see and I've been down that road where I was blind for 4 days, and the memory of it unsettles me enough, and the thought of her going through it... and finally we got in contact, and she's ok, but she did have to go to an emergency opthamologist appointment but the lesion is not on the eyeball, but on the lid. And when we finally got to each other, I just broke down.
So the migraine is through the roof, I think I'm still shaking. Most of the time the people closest to me can't tell what's going on in my head because I have this blank mask that seems to take over as a defensive mechanism, and today I was sitting on a bench at a train station carpark unable to stop crying. And I can't believe that woman did what she did. Physically pushed me out of the way while I literally had tears running down my face.
Man, I am so tired. But I made a few woeful icons, and that was rather calming, surprisingly.
The mental coffers are empty.
It sounds crazy, but I had one of the worst days of my life. I know I panicked, but my mother has been sick, and I was on a train and I couldn't get on to her and after an hour of answering machines and turned off mobiles, a taxi call which specified my name, address and a woman who physically pushed me out of the way, jumped into the cab and refused to leave, and the trip was further than mine so the cab drove off with a semi apologetic look. At this stage I was nearly in tears and visualizing all the things that could be wrong with my mother, who said she would be home to pick me up from the station when I got there. She's come down with shingles on her face, and its followed a nerve to her eye, and that is really dangerous, and I'm thinking she's stuck and can't see and I've been down that road where I was blind for 4 days, and the memory of it unsettles me enough, and the thought of her going through it... and finally we got in contact, and she's ok, but she did have to go to an emergency opthamologist appointment but the lesion is not on the eyeball, but on the lid. And when we finally got to each other, I just broke down.
So the migraine is through the roof, I think I'm still shaking. Most of the time the people closest to me can't tell what's going on in my head because I have this blank mask that seems to take over as a defensive mechanism, and today I was sitting on a bench at a train station carpark unable to stop crying. And I can't believe that woman did what she did. Physically pushed me out of the way while I literally had tears running down my face.
Man, I am so tired. But I made a few woeful icons, and that was rather calming, surprisingly.
The mental coffers are empty.