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Loveable Little Man
We hate to see this little guy go! A diminutive naked hominid, no more than three inches tall, found in the exhaust system of a burnt-up tractor. Needy but endearing, he loves to ride around in a shirt pocket or nestle in your hair. When he finds occasion to speak, he utters gentle flattery in a rich, soothing voice. He is never smarmy or cloying, and over the months he has been with us we have come to depend on his sage advice and sincere encouragement. Some of us speculate that he may be edible, but we’re simply too in love with him to destroy him. He’s a true steal at $8,000, including bell jar.
ONE CONDITION: You must also take our HATEFUL LITTLE MAN, a similar but opposite monster advertised in the last newsletter and still unsold. Hateful Little Man has become even more unbearable; he has taken to aping the mannerisms those around him in extremely insulting ways. He made my wife cry on Christmas Eve, the little son of a bitch. UPDATE: the whole time we’ve had him we were going “god, who does he look like?” and then the other day we finally figured out he looks just like Marc Almond. Also, we figured out that he speaks pretty much every language. And he doesn’t feel pain (we tried).
Something Awful's Internet Discount Barn.
We hate to see this little guy go! A diminutive naked hominid, no more than three inches tall, found in the exhaust system of a burnt-up tractor. Needy but endearing, he loves to ride around in a shirt pocket or nestle in your hair. When he finds occasion to speak, he utters gentle flattery in a rich, soothing voice. He is never smarmy or cloying, and over the months he has been with us we have come to depend on his sage advice and sincere encouragement. Some of us speculate that he may be edible, but we’re simply too in love with him to destroy him. He’s a true steal at $8,000, including bell jar.
ONE CONDITION: You must also take our HATEFUL LITTLE MAN, a similar but opposite monster advertised in the last newsletter and still unsold. Hateful Little Man has become even more unbearable; he has taken to aping the mannerisms those around him in extremely insulting ways. He made my wife cry on Christmas Eve, the little son of a bitch. UPDATE: the whole time we’ve had him we were going “god, who does he look like?” and then the other day we finally figured out he looks just like Marc Almond. Also, we figured out that he speaks pretty much every language. And he doesn’t feel pain (we tried).
Something Awful's Internet Discount Barn.