minglings of eavsdropping on interoffice discussion that doesn't involve me...

[versusjill]

Girls,

How many of you have said I love you...first in a relationship? Do you normally wait until the dude says it first?

Dudes,

What if your girl says i love you first? Is it intimidating? what do you do? do you tell her the truth if you don't love her back?

Comments

[annieokie]

i told mike that i loved him first. and that was after about 2 yrs of dating. i was waiting and waiting for him to say it....so i just bit the bulllet and said it. we rarely say it to each other though. i think it loses meaning if said too often.

[jazboallie]

if that were true our parents wouldn't love us at all.

[annieokie]

i mean love between bf/gf

parental love is diff

[jazboallie]

hahaha!! yah yah....everyone is diff. i say goodbye to lady every morning, hug him, kiss him, tell him to have a good day and tell him i love him.

and every time we get off the phone.

[lynden]

The guy I'm dating is the one who has said it first in my experiences.

[sarahxiong]

eh? what guy?

[smashbot]

I can't imagine a situation in which it would be okay for the guy not to say it back.

[iyeia]

that's very gentlemanly, but i would want to know if i told someone i loved them and they didn't feel the same. it's way better than thinking someone cares about you, then later having a discussion to the contrary.

my experiences with the "i love you" thing has been mixed. i've said it first and people have said it to me first. it's funny though, because i really haven't told many people i love them. i can count them on one hand with room to spare.

[smashbot]

I agree with your statement 100%.

My point is that you are opening a big can of worms by not saying it back and it could cause a lot of problems with the relationship. That being said, I'm not an advocate of lying, especially to those you are in a relationship with.

[iyeia]

that's very true

[jazboallie]

hmmmmmm....i've never been the one to say it first. not that i can remember anyways.

[boobymcgee]

i've only been the one to say it first once i think. and the response was a bit jarring:

"is it ok if i'm not ready to say that yet?"

but see, i knew i should have bit my tongue. i knew it wasn't time. i felt like a jackass. and i'm pretty sure it just added more fuel to the fire that was the demise of our relationship.

but that's MY situation,and each situation is unique.

[versusjill]

the one time that i said it to someone else, he said, "Really? Thank you."

uhm/?