On the eighth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me
eight gun barrels
[Title] Skills Set
[Fandom] Death Note
[Rating] G
[Notes/Summary] Detectives in training have to learn to shoot.
Wammy’s House taught them to shoot, because it seemed overly optimistic that the greatest detective in the world would never have to use a gun. Which was all very well, Roger thought, but Quillsh and L didn’t have to supervise the actual learning process, and didn’t have to figure out how to balance it as part of the curriculum without rearing an entire class of super-genius easily bored children who also deemed themselves above gun control laws. He hired former Army personnel who were extremely stern about gun safety, stored the weapons behind securities even a bunch of Ls-in-training couldn’t get past, and came down hard on anything that even looked like it might be a gun-related misdemeanour, typically by assigning homework that involved memorising the finer points of gun control law across the globe in minute detail. You wait, Mello yelled at him after one such incident, I’m going to America, they sell guns in the supermarkets there. When he finally did storm out of the orphanage and the country, Roger told himself that at least he’d been taught the basics of safety. He still dreaded to think what the boy might be up to, but at least he’d avoid shooting his own toes off.
[Title] Self-Defense
[Fandom] Battle Royale
[Rating] PG
[Notes/Summary] There are various skills that come in useful in the Greater East Asian Republic.
Uncle showed Shinji a bunch of self-defense stuff, from when he was a kid, even, and that’s come in useful because the Greater East Asian Republic may like to spout off about how it’s this wonderful utopia but actually, there’s a whole lot of decidedly dystopian individuals you can end up running into. Uncle said to him from the start you know this isn’t a game, you’ll win far more fights if you try your hardest to avoid them in the first place, which seemed fair enough, Shinji’s seen enough of the idiots at school getting into pissing contests. Uncle said some stuff about how when the government shows people they can pick on the weak and helpless and different, that’s what the people’ll do. Which is self-evident, you only have to walk into Shiroiwa Junior High School.
What about guns? Shinji asked once. You ever have to shoot anyone?
Uncle gave him a look, but Shinji held up his hands: Come on, I know what you said about not starting actual in-person revolutions, but… I mean, the cops have ‘em. The secret police and the defense force. Just...
Yes, and if any of them are after you, getting into a shootout isn’t going to end well.
Uncle did own a gun, though, it turned out, an extremely illegal one, and he taught Shinji to use it, out on a patch of wasteground, shooting tin cans. It’s only much later Shinji thinks, it probably wasn’t because of revolution or anything that he taught me. It was probably because of the Program. A lot of the really rich kids get taught to shoot on Daddy’s private range, before they go into ninth grade. Just in case.
Shinji never gets an answer to the you ever have to shoot anyone question, but he finds out why, a lot later. It’s not something you want to dwell on.
[Title] High Score
[Fandom] Death Note
[Rating] PG
[Notes/Summary] Matsuda found he was a good shot.
Matsuda enjoyed messing around on the kind of video games where you shoot stuff, and maybe even getting high scores, but he always figured if he fired a real gun he’d only screw it up somehow; drop it, or shoot off a toe, or just be a bad aim. Maybe that was why he almost didn’t notice for ages that he was a pretty good shot. Not that he was getting to shoot things much, because being in the NPA is a lot more about paperwork than dramatic gunfights, but the times that he did have to make a shot, or when he practised, he generally - well, almost always, really - hit the target he was supposed to. You think of a sharpshooter as someone cool and calm who never makes a mistake, and maybe it’s good, when you’ve got a gun in your hand, to assume you’re someone who could still make a mistake. It makes you careful. Of course when it comes to the Yellow Box Warehouse, and the pen in Raito’s hand, and the gun in his own, he isn’t careful at all, but by then he’s realised how big a mistake he’s made trusting Raito at all, and any others - like firing your gun blindly, shooting to hurt, shooting to kill - don’t seem to matter in comparison.
[Title] Riot Control
[Fandom] Jet Set Radio
[Rating] PG
[Notes/Summary] Gum and Tab brief Beat on Tokyo-to's policing.
“The other thing about this city,” Gum says, as they sit on a bench in the sun, “is that the local police chief is something else.”
Beat stares at her, wondering if she’s messing with the new kid’s head, but she just says, “Don’t believe me? Tab, show him your bruises.”
“I’m not going to start stripping off in the middle of the bus terminal,” Tab says, peaceably. “He’ll find out about the rubber bullets soon enough.”
“Well, that’s better than actual bullets, right?” Beat says.
“Better as in they don’t actually kill you, sure,” Gum says. “Not better as in they still freakin’ hurt. It basically feels like getting shot would, not that I know, but I reckon the way things are going it won’t be long before I find out -”
“Yeah,” Tab says, “the police just got a massive donation from the Rokkaku Corporation to help clear up the streets, and according to Prof K, Onishima’s started building his own private army. I reckon bruises will be the least of our problems.”
“You know he’ll still be out on the streets, though,” Gum says, pulling a face. “Waving that stupid gun around and pretending he’s Dirty Harry.”
Beat glances from one to the other. “And yet you two are still okay with this forming-a-rudie-gang thing.”
“I have profound ethical concerns about the militarisation of local law enforcement,” Tab says, “and Gum takes any attempt to enforce rules as a challenge.”
“Challenge being, let’s cover more stuff in paint?” Beat guesses.
“Yup. Particularly Onishima.”
On such a sunny day, with your hands speckled in paint and the beginnings of a gang seated either side of you, it’s hard to believe you’ll need to worry about this kind of stuff. Beat shrugs. “Guess we better get good at dashing, then.”
[Title] Teaching Gig
[Fandom] Akira (manga)
[Rating] PG
[Notes/Summary] Kaneda has a proposition for Kei.
“You could teach me to shoot, you know,” Kaneda says, wandering into Chiyoko’s room.
Kei, dismantling and cleaning the guns, looks up at him. “I could, could I?”
“Yeah! Like, you’ve clearly been trained to kill since birth, so you know all about it. Also, it’d let me contribute to the team, it’s not like I want to be dead weight. Plus, girls with guns are hot.”
“All the more reason for Chiyoko and me to handle the artillery, then,” Kei says, smiling sweetly at him.
Kaneda rolls his eyes, sprawls down on the tatami matting. “I’m just saying. I mean, it’s not like I probably won’t end up having to do it anyway. I wasted all those bullets of yours in the sewers. I had to battle actual soldiers with an actual laser rifle. I - sooner or later, Tetsuo’s going to show up again, and… you know.”
“To be honest,” Kei says, “what exactly am I going to teach you? We won’t have enough time for me to coach you to improve your aim, and you clearly know how to pull a trigger. And somehow, I doubt you want me to talk you through the finer points of care and safety.”
“Fine. Geez.”
“I mean, I’d much rather you don’t have to shoot anyone else because we find a way of resolving this mess,” Kei says. “You know, this wasn’t what I was expecting a few weeks ago, either.”
“Hah. No.” Kaneda stares at his hands for a moment. “But… it’s not going to happen that way, is it? I mean, shit’s already way out of control and now the entire army is looking for us.” He turns, grins at her, rests his arms on the table. “Come on. Just tell me which ones have safetys so I can pull that trick about pointing it out when someone’s got you cornered. It’ll be useful.”
Kei shakes her head. “Okay. Fine.”
[Title] Muscle Memory
[Fandom] Portal
[Rating] G
[Notes/Summary] Chell learns to use the portal gun.
She seems to be good at firing this thing. Device. Not that it’s that difficult. You point at an area of wall and pull a trigger and a portal bursts into life in front of you. There’s no recoil. How does she know about recoil? From books or movies? Or has she actually used a gun before? She hasn’t got a memory of carrying one. When she picked up the portal gun it didn’t feel familiar. And yet her hands have settled on it and she carries it poised and ready as she moves. That could be muscle memory, or it could just be that she needs to handle this thing properly if she doesn’t want to die.
Don’t know that I’m going to die.
But as soon as she’s thought it, it’s a piece of knowledge that falls into place, just like the gun does in her hands. She’s going to need all the tools for survival she can get, and hope like hell she knows how to use them as the tests get harder.
[Title] Gunplay
[Fandom] Battle Royale
[Rating] PG-13 for sex references, sexualisation of guns, language
[Notes/Summary] Mitsuko and her friends discussed their familiarity with weapons once.
They talked about it once, when they were in a bar, drinking really bad cocktails they’d talked some sap into buying them. Mitsuko can’t remember who brought it up - there were a lot of cocktails - but she remembers Hirono snorting, what, do I look like a yakuza-wannabe? You ask me, the only people who mess around with guns are guys with small dicks.
And you’ve got no time for them, right? Mitsuko said, and they both giggled. Yoshimi laughed too, a moment too late: I mean, don’t think I’ve ever even seen a gun, I’m sure not going to start waving one around. Mitsuko could’ve said something about how Yoshimi was too much of a fucking idiot to know what she was doing with an eyelash curler, let alone a gun, but she was feeling nice, or tipsy, or something. Hirono was like, what about you, Mitsu?
Mitsuko thought about telling them about the yakuza guy she’d dated who got off on gunplay, how she’d spent a lot of time licking guns and tracing them down her body, how, in between all of that, she’d talked him into giving her a few quick lessons, posed with it to get used to the feel, so she figured she could handle one if and when she had to. She didn’t mention it, in the end, just shrugged and said, Nuh-uh. Mess up this manicure? Just because she figured no need to spill information she didn’t have to. When they all woke up and found themselves in the Program, she was glad about that. Keep the element of surprise, at least a bit.
[Title] War Zone
[Fandom] Until Dawn
[Rating] PG-13 for violence and language
[Notes/Summary] Chris finds this situation is nothing like target practice.
Chris isn’t a gun nut or anything, but he would’ve said he’s not a bad shot. Trips to shooting ranges with his dad, that kind of thing. Steady hands, slow breath, pull the trigger, hit the target.
This is so much unlike that it would be hilarious if it wasn’t fucking terrifying. Running as fast as he can ever remember, slipping and sliding on the crunchy snow, the roars of the creatures echoing round his head, smell of smoke and blood, his hands cold and shaking on the gun, and god knows how he manages to level it and fire, let alone hit anything, it’s like someone else is managing that part of the operation while most of him is just oh god oh god oh god do not die.
He figures that’s probably what it’s like being in a war, storming the beaches or whatever. You practise the gun stuff over and over and then when it comes to it you hope some part of your brain remembers what to do. But then, that guy’s head was just sliced off right in front of him. Even then, practice probably won’t be enough.
eight gun barrels
[Title] Skills Set
[Fandom] Death Note
[Rating] G
[Notes/Summary] Detectives in training have to learn to shoot.
Wammy’s House taught them to shoot, because it seemed overly optimistic that the greatest detective in the world would never have to use a gun. Which was all very well, Roger thought, but Quillsh and L didn’t have to supervise the actual learning process, and didn’t have to figure out how to balance it as part of the curriculum without rearing an entire class of super-genius easily bored children who also deemed themselves above gun control laws. He hired former Army personnel who were extremely stern about gun safety, stored the weapons behind securities even a bunch of Ls-in-training couldn’t get past, and came down hard on anything that even looked like it might be a gun-related misdemeanour, typically by assigning homework that involved memorising the finer points of gun control law across the globe in minute detail. You wait, Mello yelled at him after one such incident, I’m going to America, they sell guns in the supermarkets there. When he finally did storm out of the orphanage and the country, Roger told himself that at least he’d been taught the basics of safety. He still dreaded to think what the boy might be up to, but at least he’d avoid shooting his own toes off.
[Title] Self-Defense
[Fandom] Battle Royale
[Rating] PG
[Notes/Summary] There are various skills that come in useful in the Greater East Asian Republic.
Uncle showed Shinji a bunch of self-defense stuff, from when he was a kid, even, and that’s come in useful because the Greater East Asian Republic may like to spout off about how it’s this wonderful utopia but actually, there’s a whole lot of decidedly dystopian individuals you can end up running into. Uncle said to him from the start you know this isn’t a game, you’ll win far more fights if you try your hardest to avoid them in the first place, which seemed fair enough, Shinji’s seen enough of the idiots at school getting into pissing contests. Uncle said some stuff about how when the government shows people they can pick on the weak and helpless and different, that’s what the people’ll do. Which is self-evident, you only have to walk into Shiroiwa Junior High School.
What about guns? Shinji asked once. You ever have to shoot anyone?
Uncle gave him a look, but Shinji held up his hands: Come on, I know what you said about not starting actual in-person revolutions, but… I mean, the cops have ‘em. The secret police and the defense force. Just...
Yes, and if any of them are after you, getting into a shootout isn’t going to end well.
Uncle did own a gun, though, it turned out, an extremely illegal one, and he taught Shinji to use it, out on a patch of wasteground, shooting tin cans. It’s only much later Shinji thinks, it probably wasn’t because of revolution or anything that he taught me. It was probably because of the Program. A lot of the really rich kids get taught to shoot on Daddy’s private range, before they go into ninth grade. Just in case.
Shinji never gets an answer to the you ever have to shoot anyone question, but he finds out why, a lot later. It’s not something you want to dwell on.
[Title] High Score
[Fandom] Death Note
[Rating] PG
[Notes/Summary] Matsuda found he was a good shot.
Matsuda enjoyed messing around on the kind of video games where you shoot stuff, and maybe even getting high scores, but he always figured if he fired a real gun he’d only screw it up somehow; drop it, or shoot off a toe, or just be a bad aim. Maybe that was why he almost didn’t notice for ages that he was a pretty good shot. Not that he was getting to shoot things much, because being in the NPA is a lot more about paperwork than dramatic gunfights, but the times that he did have to make a shot, or when he practised, he generally - well, almost always, really - hit the target he was supposed to. You think of a sharpshooter as someone cool and calm who never makes a mistake, and maybe it’s good, when you’ve got a gun in your hand, to assume you’re someone who could still make a mistake. It makes you careful. Of course when it comes to the Yellow Box Warehouse, and the pen in Raito’s hand, and the gun in his own, he isn’t careful at all, but by then he’s realised how big a mistake he’s made trusting Raito at all, and any others - like firing your gun blindly, shooting to hurt, shooting to kill - don’t seem to matter in comparison.
[Title] Riot Control
[Fandom] Jet Set Radio
[Rating] PG
[Notes/Summary] Gum and Tab brief Beat on Tokyo-to's policing.
“The other thing about this city,” Gum says, as they sit on a bench in the sun, “is that the local police chief is something else.”
Beat stares at her, wondering if she’s messing with the new kid’s head, but she just says, “Don’t believe me? Tab, show him your bruises.”
“I’m not going to start stripping off in the middle of the bus terminal,” Tab says, peaceably. “He’ll find out about the rubber bullets soon enough.”
“Well, that’s better than actual bullets, right?” Beat says.
“Better as in they don’t actually kill you, sure,” Gum says. “Not better as in they still freakin’ hurt. It basically feels like getting shot would, not that I know, but I reckon the way things are going it won’t be long before I find out -”
“Yeah,” Tab says, “the police just got a massive donation from the Rokkaku Corporation to help clear up the streets, and according to Prof K, Onishima’s started building his own private army. I reckon bruises will be the least of our problems.”
“You know he’ll still be out on the streets, though,” Gum says, pulling a face. “Waving that stupid gun around and pretending he’s Dirty Harry.”
Beat glances from one to the other. “And yet you two are still okay with this forming-a-rudie-gang thing.”
“I have profound ethical concerns about the militarisation of local law enforcement,” Tab says, “and Gum takes any attempt to enforce rules as a challenge.”
“Challenge being, let’s cover more stuff in paint?” Beat guesses.
“Yup. Particularly Onishima.”
On such a sunny day, with your hands speckled in paint and the beginnings of a gang seated either side of you, it’s hard to believe you’ll need to worry about this kind of stuff. Beat shrugs. “Guess we better get good at dashing, then.”
[Title] Teaching Gig
[Fandom] Akira (manga)
[Rating] PG
[Notes/Summary] Kaneda has a proposition for Kei.
“You could teach me to shoot, you know,” Kaneda says, wandering into Chiyoko’s room.
Kei, dismantling and cleaning the guns, looks up at him. “I could, could I?”
“Yeah! Like, you’ve clearly been trained to kill since birth, so you know all about it. Also, it’d let me contribute to the team, it’s not like I want to be dead weight. Plus, girls with guns are hot.”
“All the more reason for Chiyoko and me to handle the artillery, then,” Kei says, smiling sweetly at him.
Kaneda rolls his eyes, sprawls down on the tatami matting. “I’m just saying. I mean, it’s not like I probably won’t end up having to do it anyway. I wasted all those bullets of yours in the sewers. I had to battle actual soldiers with an actual laser rifle. I - sooner or later, Tetsuo’s going to show up again, and… you know.”
“To be honest,” Kei says, “what exactly am I going to teach you? We won’t have enough time for me to coach you to improve your aim, and you clearly know how to pull a trigger. And somehow, I doubt you want me to talk you through the finer points of care and safety.”
“Fine. Geez.”
“I mean, I’d much rather you don’t have to shoot anyone else because we find a way of resolving this mess,” Kei says. “You know, this wasn’t what I was expecting a few weeks ago, either.”
“Hah. No.” Kaneda stares at his hands for a moment. “But… it’s not going to happen that way, is it? I mean, shit’s already way out of control and now the entire army is looking for us.” He turns, grins at her, rests his arms on the table. “Come on. Just tell me which ones have safetys so I can pull that trick about pointing it out when someone’s got you cornered. It’ll be useful.”
Kei shakes her head. “Okay. Fine.”
[Title] Muscle Memory
[Fandom] Portal
[Rating] G
[Notes/Summary] Chell learns to use the portal gun.
She seems to be good at firing this thing. Device. Not that it’s that difficult. You point at an area of wall and pull a trigger and a portal bursts into life in front of you. There’s no recoil. How does she know about recoil? From books or movies? Or has she actually used a gun before? She hasn’t got a memory of carrying one. When she picked up the portal gun it didn’t feel familiar. And yet her hands have settled on it and she carries it poised and ready as she moves. That could be muscle memory, or it could just be that she needs to handle this thing properly if she doesn’t want to die.
Don’t know that I’m going to die.
But as soon as she’s thought it, it’s a piece of knowledge that falls into place, just like the gun does in her hands. She’s going to need all the tools for survival she can get, and hope like hell she knows how to use them as the tests get harder.
[Title] Gunplay
[Fandom] Battle Royale
[Rating] PG-13 for sex references, sexualisation of guns, language
[Notes/Summary] Mitsuko and her friends discussed their familiarity with weapons once.
They talked about it once, when they were in a bar, drinking really bad cocktails they’d talked some sap into buying them. Mitsuko can’t remember who brought it up - there were a lot of cocktails - but she remembers Hirono snorting, what, do I look like a yakuza-wannabe? You ask me, the only people who mess around with guns are guys with small dicks.
And you’ve got no time for them, right? Mitsuko said, and they both giggled. Yoshimi laughed too, a moment too late: I mean, don’t think I’ve ever even seen a gun, I’m sure not going to start waving one around. Mitsuko could’ve said something about how Yoshimi was too much of a fucking idiot to know what she was doing with an eyelash curler, let alone a gun, but she was feeling nice, or tipsy, or something. Hirono was like, what about you, Mitsu?
Mitsuko thought about telling them about the yakuza guy she’d dated who got off on gunplay, how she’d spent a lot of time licking guns and tracing them down her body, how, in between all of that, she’d talked him into giving her a few quick lessons, posed with it to get used to the feel, so she figured she could handle one if and when she had to. She didn’t mention it, in the end, just shrugged and said, Nuh-uh. Mess up this manicure? Just because she figured no need to spill information she didn’t have to. When they all woke up and found themselves in the Program, she was glad about that. Keep the element of surprise, at least a bit.
[Title] War Zone
[Fandom] Until Dawn
[Rating] PG-13 for violence and language
[Notes/Summary] Chris finds this situation is nothing like target practice.
Chris isn’t a gun nut or anything, but he would’ve said he’s not a bad shot. Trips to shooting ranges with his dad, that kind of thing. Steady hands, slow breath, pull the trigger, hit the target.
This is so much unlike that it would be hilarious if it wasn’t fucking terrifying. Running as fast as he can ever remember, slipping and sliding on the crunchy snow, the roars of the creatures echoing round his head, smell of smoke and blood, his hands cold and shaking on the gun, and god knows how he manages to level it and fire, let alone hit anything, it’s like someone else is managing that part of the operation while most of him is just oh god oh god oh god do not die.
He figures that’s probably what it’s like being in a war, storming the beaches or whatever. You practise the gun stuff over and over and then when it comes to it you hope some part of your brain remembers what to do. But then, that guy’s head was just sliced off right in front of him. Even then, practice probably won’t be enough.