"just so we're clear"
it's never okay to...
1. drive or walk over anothers grave...espically when at or leaving a funeral...
2. say "you've put on some pounds" to my mother or "she can't manage to keep that foot out of her mouth" about my mother or tell her that she'll never have grankids...
3. pet and alligator
4. blame your problems on "the lord" cause i don't see how that'll get you into heaven
5. preach about adam and eve...the eternal life...or ask me to raise my hand accepting jesus at a funeral...it's not about jesus right now...
6. pretend it's "okay". we're okay...when you know were not..and you probably know why
7. go this long without contact...for that i'm sorry to him...but it shall be remedied in time...
it's not fair who we like...it's not fair whose mean to us or nice to us because of what we do or don't have...it's not fair to feel guilty for everything...it's not fair to think you're the only one with problems and it's not fair to play fair all the time...it's not fair to skate by emotionally or financially....funerals aren't fair...death's not ususally fair...oppertunities aren't fair...nothings really fair but that's life...
drama: people at work, and at school and in my life anywhere for that matter have a tendency to think i'm much more worked up than i actually am...or will be...i like to invest in things...it makes everything more important..there are those who let it "roll off their back" not me. I like to invest in people, events and projects....moments....and i recognize that with investment comes great dissapointment when it doesn't work out...but there is also great satisfaction, joy and peace when it comes out allright..there is the good kind of pride...people who don't get "worked up" where's the accomplishment? where's the ownership? i'm not loosing sleep over the boxes i worked on at disney...i'm not calling my brother to "fix it"...i'm living an invested life...if the investment doesn't work out...i do move on..but for that moment it's my life...it's everything...i don't neglect the people i'm invested in...in the photos that slid by on the big screens at the funeral today...there were picture of a woman i wasn't invested in..but when the picture of our christmas party went by or my father was asked to be the pallbearer....and it reminded me of ellen...and when i saw ian...i realized my investment....i was invested...i'd been invested...in him....and my father...when my mother had to walk to the car and i saw her eyes swell up i saw her investment...this is life...we are born with feelings...emotions....they are real, and accepted...it's okay to feel...it's okay to hurt...it's okay to love...it's okay that we are born into the same family, but don't like each other...or do like each other...it's okay not to look like you stepped out of a magazine....it's okay to fuck up ...it's okay to be different...it doesn't mean it's easier...or better...or that we'll all get along ....but it is okay.and don't misunderstand with my it's not acceptable to pretend it's "okay" ...this is the fake..you know when some one isn't ready, or feeling right or they just aren't okay or the situation isn't okay but ....there's a fine line...i suppose it's okay to not be okay...
1. drive or walk over anothers grave...espically when at or leaving a funeral...
2. say "you've put on some pounds" to my mother or "she can't manage to keep that foot out of her mouth" about my mother or tell her that she'll never have grankids...
3. pet and alligator
4. blame your problems on "the lord" cause i don't see how that'll get you into heaven
5. preach about adam and eve...the eternal life...or ask me to raise my hand accepting jesus at a funeral...it's not about jesus right now...
6. pretend it's "okay". we're okay...when you know were not..and you probably know why
7. go this long without contact...for that i'm sorry to him...but it shall be remedied in time...
it's not fair who we like...it's not fair whose mean to us or nice to us because of what we do or don't have...it's not fair to feel guilty for everything...it's not fair to think you're the only one with problems and it's not fair to play fair all the time...it's not fair to skate by emotionally or financially....funerals aren't fair...death's not ususally fair...oppertunities aren't fair...nothings really fair but that's life...
drama: people at work, and at school and in my life anywhere for that matter have a tendency to think i'm much more worked up than i actually am...or will be...i like to invest in things...it makes everything more important..there are those who let it "roll off their back" not me. I like to invest in people, events and projects....moments....and i recognize that with investment comes great dissapointment when it doesn't work out...but there is also great satisfaction, joy and peace when it comes out allright..there is the good kind of pride...people who don't get "worked up" where's the accomplishment? where's the ownership? i'm not loosing sleep over the boxes i worked on at disney...i'm not calling my brother to "fix it"...i'm living an invested life...if the investment doesn't work out...i do move on..but for that moment it's my life...it's everything...i don't neglect the people i'm invested in...in the photos that slid by on the big screens at the funeral today...there were picture of a woman i wasn't invested in..but when the picture of our christmas party went by or my father was asked to be the pallbearer....and it reminded me of ellen...and when i saw ian...i realized my investment....i was invested...i'd been invested...in him....and my father...when my mother had to walk to the car and i saw her eyes swell up i saw her investment...this is life...we are born with feelings...emotions....they are real, and accepted...it's okay to feel...it's okay to hurt...it's okay to love...it's okay that we are born into the same family, but don't like each other...or do like each other...it's okay not to look like you stepped out of a magazine....it's okay to fuck up ...it's okay to be different...it doesn't mean it's easier...or better...or that we'll all get along ....but it is okay.and don't misunderstand with my it's not acceptable to pretend it's "okay" ...this is the fake..you know when some one isn't ready, or feeling right or they just aren't okay or the situation isn't okay but ....there's a fine line...i suppose it's okay to not be okay...