too bad i have memory loss...and yet remember all the shit i want to forget...
turns out i'm full of shit and i didn't remember writing that...fuck, i called him, but i knew he wouldn't pick up.
So i left this message: hey i didn't expect you to answer, and i don't expect you to call me back, i have this feeling you're not talking to me. I heard you are dating H@##^ and i heard that i knew that and got mad, but thats weird because i don't remember knowing that and so i was calling to address that rumor and find out if you did tell me and i forgot or something. I hope you aren't deathly ill anymore and i hope everything is good. and yeah thats it. bye.
So lets make a deal shall we...i will call you instead of him from now on, but i feel setteled right now. I know that he isn't talking to me because if he did it would drive him crazy and he would think of me when he was with her. i find sick satisifaction in that...perhaps i'm on the dark side. I saw episode III tonight and yoda jumped out of the film sat me down and we had a talk. He opened my eyes and i don't want to become a sithe lord so i relinquish my feelings and let go.
thats it, that;s all i have to say on the matter, i erased all the numbers i would ever be tempted to use and i am dead. that part of me is gone, passed, dead. it was a prolonged experience but it's completely gone now. i am happy, i have good friend in my life, i'm dating and i have a good fucking job. i get what i want and i have laid to rest the dissatisfaction in my life. The truth of it is...you are simple(thats the meanest thing i have ever said to anyone)and i am not. And for a while i wanted to be more like you, that may be the nicest compliment i have ever paied to anyone, so i guess were even. good bye and good riddance. I would tell you to go to hell but i know you are already there...more sick satisfaction.
So i left this message: hey i didn't expect you to answer, and i don't expect you to call me back, i have this feeling you're not talking to me. I heard you are dating H@##^ and i heard that i knew that and got mad, but thats weird because i don't remember knowing that and so i was calling to address that rumor and find out if you did tell me and i forgot or something. I hope you aren't deathly ill anymore and i hope everything is good. and yeah thats it. bye.
So lets make a deal shall we...i will call you instead of him from now on, but i feel setteled right now. I know that he isn't talking to me because if he did it would drive him crazy and he would think of me when he was with her. i find sick satisifaction in that...perhaps i'm on the dark side. I saw episode III tonight and yoda jumped out of the film sat me down and we had a talk. He opened my eyes and i don't want to become a sithe lord so i relinquish my feelings and let go.
thats it, that;s all i have to say on the matter, i erased all the numbers i would ever be tempted to use and i am dead. that part of me is gone, passed, dead. it was a prolonged experience but it's completely gone now. i am happy, i have good friend in my life, i'm dating and i have a good fucking job. i get what i want and i have laid to rest the dissatisfaction in my life. The truth of it is...you are simple(thats the meanest thing i have ever said to anyone)and i am not. And for a while i wanted to be more like you, that may be the nicest compliment i have ever paied to anyone, so i guess were even. good bye and good riddance. I would tell you to go to hell but i know you are already there...more sick satisfaction.