compliation
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
long gone
there is still a hint of your smell if i can just get close enough to the spot you laid in, or maybe i'm pretending that there is just so i can cuddle with the memory of your shape. something about fall makes me wish for mixtapes and old vinyl dreams and hot chocolate in polkadot tea cups and pretending to be in love. i imagine you as a ghost and sometimes i wish that we were sitting on rooftops and sneaking in windows, hush hush hush the whole time.
there was one day in my bedroom and i looked at us in my mirrored closet while you put on your jacket. empty reflections always seemed so perfect.
Posted by yourdivide at 10:42 PM 0 comments
~~~
Sunday, February 3, 2008
college chronicles
december2005: it snows tonight. things are moving at high speeds. four hundred eighty miles per hour and i'm flying through the windows of your house. keep them open, even through these brutal winter winds. just let me drift and i promise that i'll be all you'll need to keep warm.(gloves, hats, mittens, blankets). it's morning now but you wouldn't even know it, the way these kids keep acting like it's still last night. their eyes and mouths are open so wide, just waiting for something or someone to fill them up. but instead they keep filling up their cups, drinking those drinks, choking on those words, sputtering out those sentences that keep them sounding so deep. they'll wake up soon enough
yourdivide|may26.2006
think of all the places in our bodies where we part. the delicate distances between fingers and toes. the gentle gaps separating teeth from tongue from lips. how easily we can fuse together in secret rendezvous . we built bridges of vanilla perfume and cigarette smoke towards each other and met somewhere in the middle, only to tear down the progress by morning, when the sun came up and reminded me exactly what we are to one another. you will never know or understand how hard i've tried to minimize that great abyss by buttoning up your collared shirts in my sleepless dreams or finding reasons to press close against you on the crowded couch in my living room during movies that i've never really been scared of. you'll never feel your divide the way i have. you will never want to fill it the way that i do.
extra
1.From leather interior the lights are all golden. I feel the way things look through squinted eyes. My own dull edges, and the wet shapes that blend into shining endpoints.
Posted by yourdivide at 11:13 PM 0 comments
~~~
first three steps
one.
[sept2005]
your shoes keep getting ahead of your feet. i can only watch as you stumble over them. you never fall into the right stride.
the rain falls in blankets that wrap themselves smoothly around your blemished skin. across from me, each drag you take is a chore and your brown eyes roll back and forth with the rounded words that drop from your pouted lips in time with the ashes from your cigarettes. i silently wonder who will clean the mess of mud and ambition that has piled below our blistered feet. we're both so weary of walking and running in these vicious circles around our blurred thoughts and our frozen minds. you say things strongly now. how you want to try and you wan't me to stay and that you don't want for me to stop. but the traffic lights in your eyes are flashing red, telling me not to persist in the direction that we've been following so blindly. i've been an open book for months but i still find myself torn and abused underneath your papers and artwork at the foot of your bed.
in philosophy we discuss aristotle and eudaimonia and how one achieves such a meaningful existance by action and experience. i don't want to be the place you rest your languid legs each evening, and until we can take all this energy that we expended in midnight lowercased debates, i don't know that i want to be there at all. we've both been wearing thin for years on our own, without the help of each other's sharp edges that push and wrestle to tear the other apart beneath the cotton sheets and black that swallow us whole, everytime. the melodies we thought we made have already turned stale. all that is left are sour notes and off tempos that hang loose in the air and follow me on the walks through beaten paths that take me past your window. so sleep soundly, dream of me, and try to remember.
two. [9.10.06]
you're sneaking in my dreams. you're so good at trickery, crawling into my earlobes while humming damien rice songs and i keep thinking it's the real thing becuase i'm only half awake.
and i don't know how all this happiness has taken hold of me with you in the back of my mind, tugging so hard at my heartstrings with your feeble hands. there was once a time when if you moved one step towards me, i'd take two towards you. but those days (more importantly those nights) are over with. even though all those places where you've touched my hand or my hip or the back of my neck still burn with your fingerprints, they no longer belong to you. there are so many ways i could rid you from my life and flush you from my heart and my head, but i need you there.
the pins and needles we tread on keep my blood warm and my limbs alive and if you were gone i wouldn't have the same fervor or zeal laying next to current flames that i do now, with you hiding in the corners of my brain.
three. [2.4.08&may2006]
move in reverse and lay your limbs long. move silent lips and those built in secrets from the curves of your neck while i sleep inside your mouth. pretend i'm in all the empty houses you've made on imaginary hills in far off lands. rise with the moon and set with the sun. straighten the roads that lead to your heart and tear off the scabs where i left my wounds. iron yourself into oblivion. divide the pasts that seperate us into fractions and fragments and burn the frayed edges where you've cut me lose. let your lies bury themselves underneath my fingernails
two years later and things don't lose their edge. i've quit polluting my papers with you and yet you still find ways to crawl under my skin. i don't know who these words are for anymore. you're all just invisible boys of my past, empty glasses lying next to my bed. i stopped smoking for you. none of you noticed. or maybe it was for me. i stopped breathing so deeply and trying to hold you in my lungs becuase all of you escape before morning.
i've been waking up earlier and with more weight than usual. the lines are blurred and the curtains are drawn and having no one to feel any way about turns every day into winter.
Posted by yourdivide at 10:44 PM 0 comments
long gone
there is still a hint of your smell if i can just get close enough to the spot you laid in, or maybe i'm pretending that there is just so i can cuddle with the memory of your shape. something about fall makes me wish for mixtapes and old vinyl dreams and hot chocolate in polkadot tea cups and pretending to be in love. i imagine you as a ghost and sometimes i wish that we were sitting on rooftops and sneaking in windows, hush hush hush the whole time.
there was one day in my bedroom and i looked at us in my mirrored closet while you put on your jacket. empty reflections always seemed so perfect.
Posted by yourdivide at 10:42 PM 0 comments
~~~
Sunday, February 3, 2008
college chronicles
december2005: it snows tonight. things are moving at high speeds. four hundred eighty miles per hour and i'm flying through the windows of your house. keep them open, even through these brutal winter winds. just let me drift and i promise that i'll be all you'll need to keep warm.(gloves, hats, mittens, blankets). it's morning now but you wouldn't even know it, the way these kids keep acting like it's still last night. their eyes and mouths are open so wide, just waiting for something or someone to fill them up. but instead they keep filling up their cups, drinking those drinks, choking on those words, sputtering out those sentences that keep them sounding so deep. they'll wake up soon enough
yourdivide|may26.2006
think of all the places in our bodies where we part. the delicate distances between fingers and toes. the gentle gaps separating teeth from tongue from lips. how easily we can fuse together in secret rendezvous . we built bridges of vanilla perfume and cigarette smoke towards each other and met somewhere in the middle, only to tear down the progress by morning, when the sun came up and reminded me exactly what we are to one another. you will never know or understand how hard i've tried to minimize that great abyss by buttoning up your collared shirts in my sleepless dreams or finding reasons to press close against you on the crowded couch in my living room during movies that i've never really been scared of. you'll never feel your divide the way i have. you will never want to fill it the way that i do.
extra
1.From leather interior the lights are all golden. I feel the way things look through squinted eyes. My own dull edges, and the wet shapes that blend into shining endpoints.
Posted by yourdivide at 11:13 PM 0 comments
~~~
first three steps
one.
[sept2005]
your shoes keep getting ahead of your feet. i can only watch as you stumble over them. you never fall into the right stride.
the rain falls in blankets that wrap themselves smoothly around your blemished skin. across from me, each drag you take is a chore and your brown eyes roll back and forth with the rounded words that drop from your pouted lips in time with the ashes from your cigarettes. i silently wonder who will clean the mess of mud and ambition that has piled below our blistered feet. we're both so weary of walking and running in these vicious circles around our blurred thoughts and our frozen minds. you say things strongly now. how you want to try and you wan't me to stay and that you don't want for me to stop. but the traffic lights in your eyes are flashing red, telling me not to persist in the direction that we've been following so blindly. i've been an open book for months but i still find myself torn and abused underneath your papers and artwork at the foot of your bed.
in philosophy we discuss aristotle and eudaimonia and how one achieves such a meaningful existance by action and experience. i don't want to be the place you rest your languid legs each evening, and until we can take all this energy that we expended in midnight lowercased debates, i don't know that i want to be there at all. we've both been wearing thin for years on our own, without the help of each other's sharp edges that push and wrestle to tear the other apart beneath the cotton sheets and black that swallow us whole, everytime. the melodies we thought we made have already turned stale. all that is left are sour notes and off tempos that hang loose in the air and follow me on the walks through beaten paths that take me past your window. so sleep soundly, dream of me, and try to remember.
two. [9.10.06]
you're sneaking in my dreams. you're so good at trickery, crawling into my earlobes while humming damien rice songs and i keep thinking it's the real thing becuase i'm only half awake.
and i don't know how all this happiness has taken hold of me with you in the back of my mind, tugging so hard at my heartstrings with your feeble hands. there was once a time when if you moved one step towards me, i'd take two towards you. but those days (more importantly those nights) are over with. even though all those places where you've touched my hand or my hip or the back of my neck still burn with your fingerprints, they no longer belong to you. there are so many ways i could rid you from my life and flush you from my heart and my head, but i need you there.
the pins and needles we tread on keep my blood warm and my limbs alive and if you were gone i wouldn't have the same fervor or zeal laying next to current flames that i do now, with you hiding in the corners of my brain.
three. [2.4.08&may2006]
move in reverse and lay your limbs long. move silent lips and those built in secrets from the curves of your neck while i sleep inside your mouth. pretend i'm in all the empty houses you've made on imaginary hills in far off lands. rise with the moon and set with the sun. straighten the roads that lead to your heart and tear off the scabs where i left my wounds. iron yourself into oblivion. divide the pasts that seperate us into fractions and fragments and burn the frayed edges where you've cut me lose. let your lies bury themselves underneath my fingernails
two years later and things don't lose their edge. i've quit polluting my papers with you and yet you still find ways to crawl under my skin. i don't know who these words are for anymore. you're all just invisible boys of my past, empty glasses lying next to my bed. i stopped smoking for you. none of you noticed. or maybe it was for me. i stopped breathing so deeply and trying to hold you in my lungs becuase all of you escape before morning.
i've been waking up earlier and with more weight than usual. the lines are blurred and the curtains are drawn and having no one to feel any way about turns every day into winter.
Posted by yourdivide at 10:44 PM 0 comments