lyrical and empirical
Well the whole fucked-up fam-dam-bly is comin' into town for the holidays. My Aunt Valerie is getting married to some guy she's known for like two weeks (agian. this will be the third time.)! You'd think she'd have learned her lesson by now. The last dude turned out to be some kind of scam artist. He took her car and $5000. Anyway, I already know how this is gonna play out:
Val: I'm fat. Where's the food? I need botox. You guys are boring. I want a kid. I hate kids. It's too cold. My life is so hard. You don't understand.
Mom: Quit complaining. Spend time with your family. It's not all about you. You're a fucking lousy sister!
Me: Everyone shut the fuck up, I'm trying to sleep!
Yup. And at least one person will end up covered in vodka and broken glass. It's practically an annual tradition. If I wasn't realated to these people, I'd really hate them.
Val: I'm fat. Where's the food? I need botox. You guys are boring. I want a kid. I hate kids. It's too cold. My life is so hard. You don't understand.
Mom: Quit complaining. Spend time with your family. It's not all about you. You're a fucking lousy sister!
Me: Everyone shut the fuck up, I'm trying to sleep!
Yup. And at least one person will end up covered in vodka and broken glass. It's practically an annual tradition. If I wasn't realated to these people, I'd really hate them.