[EXO] Panty Line
Title: Panty Line
Fandom: EXO
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,530
Pairing: BaekTao, SeHo, ChanKai
Summary: To those in the know, EXO's maknae line has another name.
Notes: This is nothing but pure snarky banter! No sexy times here! I am sorry. Maybe next time.
Warnings: crossdressing! boys in women's lingerie! \o/
Jongin had no idea what he thought when he accepted Baekhyun's offer to help him "spice up his love life" but it certainly was not this. He didn't know if he was the last to find out this particular little quirk in Baekhyun and Tao's relationship, or if he'd just been initiated into some sort of select chosen few -- a chosen few that apparently included Sehun and therefore, by extension, Junmyeon, which was a little bit uncomfortable to think about for more than five seconds at a time.
Regardless, he was now standing in the middle of Tao's room, looking around at his three friends in growing disbelief.
"You mean, you all-"
He cut off. Baekhyun raised an eyebrow.
"We all what, Jongin?" he asked. "Let's have it."
"You're..." Jongin gulped and felt his face heating up. "You're all into the whole guys in panties thing?"
"It makes an impression, you have to admit," Sehun shrugged. His own underwear at the moment was a stunning baby blue with more ruffles than Jongin thought were probably strictly necessary. Inasmuch as anything here was necessary, that is.
"Whatever," Jongin mumbled. "I don't know why we all have to be here anyway."
"Clothing choices are better done with a committee," Tao said, lounging on his bed, stocking-clad legs swinging in the air.
"You are worse than actual girls."
Baekhyun frowned. "Don't get pissy just because he's right. The right lingerie choices are difficult to make without an expert, as Sehun found."
Baekhyun walked over to the dresser, fingertips brushing the gathered black garter on Tao's thigh as he passed the bed. Where Sehun was all pastels and ruffles, Tao was black satin and smooth, sharp lines. He wore a fitted black tank, decidedly masculine, but peeking out from beneath that was definitely a pair of leopard print panties. And then, of course, the stockings -- also black, but not opaque, with a dark seam running up the back from heel to thigh. Jongin stood in the middle of the room in his boxers and socks, feeling very out of place.
Baekhyun was rummaging through the dresser drawers, turning to squint at Jongin occasionally, as if trying to gauge something, while Sehun started to meander through the room and poke through Tao's belongings. Tao made as if to pull him back when he got to the bedside table, but Sehun was too quick and managed to pull out a book, laughing when he saw the cover.
"Fifty Shades of Gray?" he grinned. "Please tell me you're not seriously reading this."
Tao lay on his stomach and reached off the edge of the bed to try and snatch the book away.
"Sehun, please," he begged. "Just give it back. Stop laughing."
Sehun shook his head. He scooted back far enough that Tao couldn't reach him and opened the book somewhere near the middle, flipping a few pages and making faces.
"Tao," he said, giving him a disapproving look, "I'm positive you have kinkier sex on a daily basis. How can you read this crap?"
"Hush," Baekhyun looked back over his shoulder fondly. "Leave him alone. It's like junk food, okay? Tao's inner goddess likes to splurge."
"I hate you both," Tao seethed.
"You love me," Baekhyun batted his eyelashes. "Here, Jongin. Try these on."
Jongin, who had been watching the exchange, jumped at being so suddenly addressed. He just barely managed to catch the wad of fabric that Baekhyun tossed him, unfolding and holding it up with alarm.
"It's lace," he said flatly. "It's like... all lace. Bright red."
"Hey, wasn't that mine?" Sehun pointed an accusing finger.
"Yes," said Baekhyun patiently, "But I confiscated it because it looked terrible on you. It would look lovely on Jongin though, so I'm giving it to him."
"You're giving me underwear people have already worn?" Jongin held the panties away from him with two fingers.
"You steal underwear indiscriminately from the laundry basket all the time," Tao stretched out on the bed. "You're wearing Chanyeol's right now."
"That's different," Jongin insisted. "I'm dating him."
"Were you dating Kyungsoo hyung yesterday then?" Sehun asked, not looking up from Fifty Shades.
"You shut up," Jongin glared.
"All of you shut up," ordered Baekhyun. "Jongin, put on the damn panties."
Sehun continued reading while Jongin carefully turned his back and began to peel off his (indeed, borrowed) boxers. He could hear the others still talking behind him and, thankfully, none of them really seemed to be watching. Jongin wasn’t sure he could strip for an audience.
“So, Tao,” Sehun was saying, “Your inner goddess is all about the leopard print lingerie, huh? Lounging on pillows like the graceful cat predator you are?”
“Haha,” Tao laughed dryly. “See how funny it is when I rip your throat out while you sleep.”
The bed creaked gently as another person sat down on it.
“Let the baby have his fun,” Baekhyun said indulgently, while Tao grumbled. “I think that book might be onto something, though. Do you think I should get a contract saying I’m allowed to make Tao dress up in corsets?”
“You already do that,” Tao sounded resigned.
“Yeah, but like. Legal ramifications and all that.”
“I don’t think a contract can save any of us on this front, hyung,” said Sehun. “Hey. What’s this?”
There was a rustle of cellophane, and Tao gave a sort of strangled scream.
“Sehun, put that down now! Sehun, no, don’t touch that!”
Jongin heard the sound of a tussle in which Tao seemed to be squirming and trying to fling himself at Sehun, Baekhyun was laughing and trying to shush him, and Sehun sounded in actual danger of choking.
“Are these-” he wheezed gleefully, “Are they actually- Tao, are they-”
Tao made a despairing noise.
“Tao, did he buy you chocolate starfish candies?” Sehun cackled.
“Buy?” Baekhyun sounded offended. “I’ll have you know I made them myself. I wanted to fill them with my love.”
“Tao,” Sehun gasped for breath in between laughs, “He actually made you butthole-shaped chocolates. I think you have to marry him now.”
Jongin turned around then, and saw Baekhyun sitting with his arm around Tao’s neck, holding him back from clawing Sehun’s face off. His other hand was stroking Tao’s inner thigh soothingly, just along the top of the stockings. Sehun was holding a plastic bag full of chocolates, looking thrilled.
Jongin held up a hand. "Can we all just take a moment to ponder over the fact that a moment ago Baekhyun said he wanted to fill the buttholes with his love?"
"Did I fucking stutter, Jongin?" Baekhyun’s face was dead serious.
"Jongin,” Sehun rolled his eyes, “We are standing around watching each other pick lace out of our cracks. Why does any of this even surprise you?"
Jongin frowned. Tao looked him over appraisingly, taking in the red lace and bows.
“I like it,” he announced finally, and the others turned to follow his gaze.
Jongin fidgeted.
“Yes,” said Baekhyun slowly. “Yes, I think that’ll do quite nicely for a start.”
“For a start?” said Jongin incredulously. “You mean there’s more?”
“You think you’re going to impress Chanyeol hyung with one pair of panties?” asked Sehun scathingly. “I’m beginning to doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.”
“This thing is ridiculous enough,” Jongin tugged at the bows on each side. “I don’t want to buy a different set of ribbons to cover my junk every day of the week.”
"I mean, man, if you're insecure in your masculinity..." Sehun shrugged.
"Shut up, Sehun,” Jongin crossed his arms. “I'm wearing the damn panties, aren't I?"
"Yeah, but you're being a little bitch about it.”
"Maybe Chanyeol likes him being a little bitch," said Tao innocently.
"Tao, I swear to god-"
Baekhyun interrupted Jongin mid-snarl.
"Don't get pissy at my boyfriend just because his ass looks nicer in satin than yours," he said, holding up a hand to silence Jongin’s offended splutters. “Do you want to back out now, Jongin? I offered you my help and you are welcome to turn it down now, but if you want any more of my advice, you’re going to have to stop resisting me.”
Jongin chewed the inside of his cheek as he debated internally.
“I don’t even know if Chanyeol will like it anyway,” he said finally.
“That’s what this is to find out,” Baekhyun said. “That’s why I’m giving you those. You go try those tonight, report the results back tomorrow, and we’ll go from there.”
That didn’t sound too hard. A short-term goal was ahead of him, at least. He just had to make it through tonight, gauging Chanyeol’s reaction. (And hoo boy, that ought to be fun, judging from some of the hard-to-ignore sounds whenever Sehun and Junmyeon disappeared, or whenever Baekhyun and Tao were in the same country for long enough.) Jongin took a deep breath and nodded.
“If your ass isn’t too sore to stand up tomorrow, that is,” said Sehun snidely.
Jongin threw his boxers at Sehun’s head.
Fandom: EXO
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,530
Pairing: BaekTao, SeHo, ChanKai
Summary: To those in the know, EXO's maknae line has another name.
Notes: This is nothing but pure snarky banter! No sexy times here! I am sorry. Maybe next time.
Warnings: crossdressing! boys in women's lingerie! \o/
Jongin had no idea what he thought when he accepted Baekhyun's offer to help him "spice up his love life" but it certainly was not this. He didn't know if he was the last to find out this particular little quirk in Baekhyun and Tao's relationship, or if he'd just been initiated into some sort of select chosen few -- a chosen few that apparently included Sehun and therefore, by extension, Junmyeon, which was a little bit uncomfortable to think about for more than five seconds at a time.
Regardless, he was now standing in the middle of Tao's room, looking around at his three friends in growing disbelief.
"You mean, you all-"
He cut off. Baekhyun raised an eyebrow.
"We all what, Jongin?" he asked. "Let's have it."
"You're..." Jongin gulped and felt his face heating up. "You're all into the whole guys in panties thing?"
"It makes an impression, you have to admit," Sehun shrugged. His own underwear at the moment was a stunning baby blue with more ruffles than Jongin thought were probably strictly necessary. Inasmuch as anything here was necessary, that is.
"Whatever," Jongin mumbled. "I don't know why we all have to be here anyway."
"Clothing choices are better done with a committee," Tao said, lounging on his bed, stocking-clad legs swinging in the air.
"You are worse than actual girls."
Baekhyun frowned. "Don't get pissy just because he's right. The right lingerie choices are difficult to make without an expert, as Sehun found."
Baekhyun walked over to the dresser, fingertips brushing the gathered black garter on Tao's thigh as he passed the bed. Where Sehun was all pastels and ruffles, Tao was black satin and smooth, sharp lines. He wore a fitted black tank, decidedly masculine, but peeking out from beneath that was definitely a pair of leopard print panties. And then, of course, the stockings -- also black, but not opaque, with a dark seam running up the back from heel to thigh. Jongin stood in the middle of the room in his boxers and socks, feeling very out of place.
Baekhyun was rummaging through the dresser drawers, turning to squint at Jongin occasionally, as if trying to gauge something, while Sehun started to meander through the room and poke through Tao's belongings. Tao made as if to pull him back when he got to the bedside table, but Sehun was too quick and managed to pull out a book, laughing when he saw the cover.
"Fifty Shades of Gray?" he grinned. "Please tell me you're not seriously reading this."
Tao lay on his stomach and reached off the edge of the bed to try and snatch the book away.
"Sehun, please," he begged. "Just give it back. Stop laughing."
Sehun shook his head. He scooted back far enough that Tao couldn't reach him and opened the book somewhere near the middle, flipping a few pages and making faces.
"Tao," he said, giving him a disapproving look, "I'm positive you have kinkier sex on a daily basis. How can you read this crap?"
"Hush," Baekhyun looked back over his shoulder fondly. "Leave him alone. It's like junk food, okay? Tao's inner goddess likes to splurge."
"I hate you both," Tao seethed.
"You love me," Baekhyun batted his eyelashes. "Here, Jongin. Try these on."
Jongin, who had been watching the exchange, jumped at being so suddenly addressed. He just barely managed to catch the wad of fabric that Baekhyun tossed him, unfolding and holding it up with alarm.
"It's lace," he said flatly. "It's like... all lace. Bright red."
"Hey, wasn't that mine?" Sehun pointed an accusing finger.
"Yes," said Baekhyun patiently, "But I confiscated it because it looked terrible on you. It would look lovely on Jongin though, so I'm giving it to him."
"You're giving me underwear people have already worn?" Jongin held the panties away from him with two fingers.
"You steal underwear indiscriminately from the laundry basket all the time," Tao stretched out on the bed. "You're wearing Chanyeol's right now."
"That's different," Jongin insisted. "I'm dating him."
"Were you dating Kyungsoo hyung yesterday then?" Sehun asked, not looking up from Fifty Shades.
"You shut up," Jongin glared.
"All of you shut up," ordered Baekhyun. "Jongin, put on the damn panties."
Sehun continued reading while Jongin carefully turned his back and began to peel off his (indeed, borrowed) boxers. He could hear the others still talking behind him and, thankfully, none of them really seemed to be watching. Jongin wasn’t sure he could strip for an audience.
“So, Tao,” Sehun was saying, “Your inner goddess is all about the leopard print lingerie, huh? Lounging on pillows like the graceful cat predator you are?”
“Haha,” Tao laughed dryly. “See how funny it is when I rip your throat out while you sleep.”
The bed creaked gently as another person sat down on it.
“Let the baby have his fun,” Baekhyun said indulgently, while Tao grumbled. “I think that book might be onto something, though. Do you think I should get a contract saying I’m allowed to make Tao dress up in corsets?”
“You already do that,” Tao sounded resigned.
“Yeah, but like. Legal ramifications and all that.”
“I don’t think a contract can save any of us on this front, hyung,” said Sehun. “Hey. What’s this?”
There was a rustle of cellophane, and Tao gave a sort of strangled scream.
“Sehun, put that down now! Sehun, no, don’t touch that!”
Jongin heard the sound of a tussle in which Tao seemed to be squirming and trying to fling himself at Sehun, Baekhyun was laughing and trying to shush him, and Sehun sounded in actual danger of choking.
“Are these-” he wheezed gleefully, “Are they actually- Tao, are they-”
Tao made a despairing noise.
“Tao, did he buy you chocolate starfish candies?” Sehun cackled.
“Buy?” Baekhyun sounded offended. “I’ll have you know I made them myself. I wanted to fill them with my love.”
“Tao,” Sehun gasped for breath in between laughs, “He actually made you butthole-shaped chocolates. I think you have to marry him now.”
Jongin turned around then, and saw Baekhyun sitting with his arm around Tao’s neck, holding him back from clawing Sehun’s face off. His other hand was stroking Tao’s inner thigh soothingly, just along the top of the stockings. Sehun was holding a plastic bag full of chocolates, looking thrilled.
Jongin held up a hand. "Can we all just take a moment to ponder over the fact that a moment ago Baekhyun said he wanted to fill the buttholes with his love?"
"Did I fucking stutter, Jongin?" Baekhyun’s face was dead serious.
"Jongin,” Sehun rolled his eyes, “We are standing around watching each other pick lace out of our cracks. Why does any of this even surprise you?"
Jongin frowned. Tao looked him over appraisingly, taking in the red lace and bows.
“I like it,” he announced finally, and the others turned to follow his gaze.
Jongin fidgeted.
“Yes,” said Baekhyun slowly. “Yes, I think that’ll do quite nicely for a start.”
“For a start?” said Jongin incredulously. “You mean there’s more?”
“You think you’re going to impress Chanyeol hyung with one pair of panties?” asked Sehun scathingly. “I’m beginning to doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.”
“This thing is ridiculous enough,” Jongin tugged at the bows on each side. “I don’t want to buy a different set of ribbons to cover my junk every day of the week.”
"I mean, man, if you're insecure in your masculinity..." Sehun shrugged.
"Shut up, Sehun,” Jongin crossed his arms. “I'm wearing the damn panties, aren't I?"
"Yeah, but you're being a little bitch about it.”
"Maybe Chanyeol likes him being a little bitch," said Tao innocently.
"Tao, I swear to god-"
Baekhyun interrupted Jongin mid-snarl.
"Don't get pissy at my boyfriend just because his ass looks nicer in satin than yours," he said, holding up a hand to silence Jongin’s offended splutters. “Do you want to back out now, Jongin? I offered you my help and you are welcome to turn it down now, but if you want any more of my advice, you’re going to have to stop resisting me.”
Jongin chewed the inside of his cheek as he debated internally.
“I don’t even know if Chanyeol will like it anyway,” he said finally.
“That’s what this is to find out,” Baekhyun said. “That’s why I’m giving you those. You go try those tonight, report the results back tomorrow, and we’ll go from there.”
That didn’t sound too hard. A short-term goal was ahead of him, at least. He just had to make it through tonight, gauging Chanyeol’s reaction. (And hoo boy, that ought to be fun, judging from some of the hard-to-ignore sounds whenever Sehun and Junmyeon disappeared, or whenever Baekhyun and Tao were in the same country for long enough.) Jongin took a deep breath and nodded.
“If your ass isn’t too sore to stand up tomorrow, that is,” said Sehun snidely.
Jongin threw his boxers at Sehun’s head.