mixed feelings
I've always loved school, and I've always said that I couldn't imagine not being in school. The idea of taking three years off for Dan to go to school killed me (but you make sacrifices for love). I love learning, and reading, and writing. It's all amazing.
But this semester has been AWFUL! Instead of taking my usual 15 credits (five classes) during the year and another 3 credits (one class), during the 3 week interim, I chose to take 19 credits during the year. That's six classes, and 20 hours of class per week. That means I spend 20hrs/week just IN THE CLASSROOM! That doesn't count all of the time spent doing the readings and writing the papers. It was way too much, but I needed all 19 credits to graduate. Originally Dan was planning to go to grad school right away, and I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't afraid he'd leave me behind if I wasn't finished with school. Slightly irrational, but still. So I hurried my ass up and got all of it in in 3 years. Top it off with the fact that we planned a June wedding, meaning that if I took an interim course I would only get home a week before the wedding. Trying to plan a wedding an hour and a half away from where you live, when you don't have a car, is extremely difficult. I needed to at least be home for the month before the wedding.
So here I am, finishing college a year early. Dan isn't actually finished, and has to go back next year. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little bitter. I worked my ass off to get done in three years, and I swear I've probably shaved years off my life with all of the stress. Not to mention that fact that because I took so many classes, I don't think I've done particularly well in any of them. At all...
With any luck though, tonight is my last night of sitting in this particular library. With any luck, tomorrow is my last night sleeping in a dorm room. With any luck, tomorrow will be my last day of eating campus food. With any luck, Saturday will be my last day on this campus.
I have really mixed feelings about it. After the way this semester has gone, I really really just want to get out of here. I'm ready to have my summer off, I'm ready to be married. On the other hand though, my college experience went far too quickly. I didn't get to study abroad, like I wanted to. I am going to miss my friends and my professors. Because my department is really small, we are all really close. I'm going to miss that kind of friendship and all of the bonding over jokes about how people aren't stubborn, they are just path dependant. And how it's totally fine to date the UN, but you definitely have to marry the EU.
What am I going to do without all of this? My time here has been pivotal in helping me become who I am.
I'm working hard to not cry, and it's not just because I have two tests and two papers due tomorrow....
But this semester has been AWFUL! Instead of taking my usual 15 credits (five classes) during the year and another 3 credits (one class), during the 3 week interim, I chose to take 19 credits during the year. That's six classes, and 20 hours of class per week. That means I spend 20hrs/week just IN THE CLASSROOM! That doesn't count all of the time spent doing the readings and writing the papers. It was way too much, but I needed all 19 credits to graduate. Originally Dan was planning to go to grad school right away, and I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't afraid he'd leave me behind if I wasn't finished with school. Slightly irrational, but still. So I hurried my ass up and got all of it in in 3 years. Top it off with the fact that we planned a June wedding, meaning that if I took an interim course I would only get home a week before the wedding. Trying to plan a wedding an hour and a half away from where you live, when you don't have a car, is extremely difficult. I needed to at least be home for the month before the wedding.
So here I am, finishing college a year early. Dan isn't actually finished, and has to go back next year. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little bitter. I worked my ass off to get done in three years, and I swear I've probably shaved years off my life with all of the stress. Not to mention that fact that because I took so many classes, I don't think I've done particularly well in any of them. At all...
With any luck though, tonight is my last night of sitting in this particular library. With any luck, tomorrow is my last night sleeping in a dorm room. With any luck, tomorrow will be my last day of eating campus food. With any luck, Saturday will be my last day on this campus.
I have really mixed feelings about it. After the way this semester has gone, I really really just want to get out of here. I'm ready to have my summer off, I'm ready to be married. On the other hand though, my college experience went far too quickly. I didn't get to study abroad, like I wanted to. I am going to miss my friends and my professors. Because my department is really small, we are all really close. I'm going to miss that kind of friendship and all of the bonding over jokes about how people aren't stubborn, they are just path dependant. And how it's totally fine to date the UN, but you definitely have to marry the EU.
What am I going to do without all of this? My time here has been pivotal in helping me become who I am.
I'm working hard to not cry, and it's not just because I have two tests and two papers due tomorrow....