"Oh my beautiful one....."
What a week! First of all my kids are doing very well :) Kaleb got a mohawk this week, he looks gorgeous!! Looks a lot like his dad now though..:/ Lilith got her six weeks report card in and she is doing great in school. I love them so much, so proud of them. They are my life!!
On to the shows...
Wednesday was Cradle Of Filth. Wow. I used to be a big fan of COF. So doing this show was pretty fucking cool. The bands were so very nice , Dani Filth is a total sweetheart, it was nice talking to him. Turns out one of the tour managers is in H20, very cool.
Thursday was Daughtry, Chris Daughtry was very nice as well, the bass player for Daughtry is in Suicidal Tendencies, great conversations that night! I got to spend time with someone very special to me on Thursday, if you saw me that night then you saw him. Ive been pushing him away for about 5 months now, but about once every two weeks I just need to see him, I really like him, but its complicated, He reminds me too much of someone and it scares me that that is what I am attracted to. He's really beautiful to me in a very unique way. He doesn't know anyone, he doesn't hang out in the "scene" to him I am just Veronyka, he doesn't care what I do, he doesn't want free entry to shows etc. in fact he pays for everything and he seems not to notice my many imperfections, he tells me I am perfect and that he is lucky to have me in his life. It feels good. We talk everyday on the phone or through txt messaging but we see each other rarely, but when we do its so good , and so much fun. His lips feel good on mine, not awkward but familiar in some strange way. I don't know. I'm to scared to let it become anything more, I'm not ready. I don't know if I will ever be.
Friday was Scars of Tomorrow and Unleashed. Good show but I wasn't feeling it. I was too distracted by being with him the night before , I needed to clear my head so naturally I went to watch a horror movie by myself, The Abandoned, it was pretty good, then I went home to cuddle with my babies.
Saturday was Kittie and Walls Of Jehrico, WOJ were amazing as always! Our good friend Jessie that we've known since SIN 13 days and used to be in New Dead Radio but is now in In This Moment was in town. It was awesome hanging out with him, one of the many great people we have met and become friends with in this buisiness. Went over to Joey's for a while, still feeling distracted I went home.
I have another very busy week ahead and Im looking forward to it. I love my job, I am so happy with our company and with my partnership with Erica, finally it seems things are paying off for me in this buisiness(sp?).
So the fact that I am still kinda reeling from seeing him this last time concerns me. I saw him very briefly today , just for a couple minutes and I found myself wanting more of him, which means, I need to break away quick. I am so focused on work and kids right now that I don't think I have the time to make anyone happy. DXH/AFI lyrics run through my head as always .........
"Don't waste your touch, you won't feel anything
Or were you sent to save me?
I've thought too much, you won't find anything...
Worthy of redeeming"
I just don't think I have it in me. I feel like I gave everything I had already and there's nothing left. He deserves all of me, not what's left of me. I don't think ill ever be whole again. Yet his lips feel good on mine, not awkward, but familiar in a strange way....
On to the shows...
Wednesday was Cradle Of Filth. Wow. I used to be a big fan of COF. So doing this show was pretty fucking cool. The bands were so very nice , Dani Filth is a total sweetheart, it was nice talking to him. Turns out one of the tour managers is in H20, very cool.
Thursday was Daughtry, Chris Daughtry was very nice as well, the bass player for Daughtry is in Suicidal Tendencies, great conversations that night! I got to spend time with someone very special to me on Thursday, if you saw me that night then you saw him. Ive been pushing him away for about 5 months now, but about once every two weeks I just need to see him, I really like him, but its complicated, He reminds me too much of someone and it scares me that that is what I am attracted to. He's really beautiful to me in a very unique way. He doesn't know anyone, he doesn't hang out in the "scene" to him I am just Veronyka, he doesn't care what I do, he doesn't want free entry to shows etc. in fact he pays for everything and he seems not to notice my many imperfections, he tells me I am perfect and that he is lucky to have me in his life. It feels good. We talk everyday on the phone or through txt messaging but we see each other rarely, but when we do its so good , and so much fun. His lips feel good on mine, not awkward but familiar in some strange way. I don't know. I'm to scared to let it become anything more, I'm not ready. I don't know if I will ever be.
Friday was Scars of Tomorrow and Unleashed. Good show but I wasn't feeling it. I was too distracted by being with him the night before , I needed to clear my head so naturally I went to watch a horror movie by myself, The Abandoned, it was pretty good, then I went home to cuddle with my babies.
Saturday was Kittie and Walls Of Jehrico, WOJ were amazing as always! Our good friend Jessie that we've known since SIN 13 days and used to be in New Dead Radio but is now in In This Moment was in town. It was awesome hanging out with him, one of the many great people we have met and become friends with in this buisiness. Went over to Joey's for a while, still feeling distracted I went home.
I have another very busy week ahead and Im looking forward to it. I love my job, I am so happy with our company and with my partnership with Erica, finally it seems things are paying off for me in this buisiness(sp?).
So the fact that I am still kinda reeling from seeing him this last time concerns me. I saw him very briefly today , just for a couple minutes and I found myself wanting more of him, which means, I need to break away quick. I am so focused on work and kids right now that I don't think I have the time to make anyone happy. DXH/AFI lyrics run through my head as always .........
"Don't waste your touch, you won't feel anything
Or were you sent to save me?
I've thought too much, you won't find anything...
Worthy of redeeming"
I just don't think I have it in me. I feel like I gave everything I had already and there's nothing left. He deserves all of me, not what's left of me. I don't think ill ever be whole again. Yet his lips feel good on mine, not awkward, but familiar in a strange way....