Title: It Was A Start
Author:
carissima47Pairing/Character: Logan/Veronica
Word Count: 1,300 (apologies, I don't normally write something so short!)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Set after Look Who's Stalking. Like, immediately after. One-shot.
Spoilers: Don't read unless you've seen LWS, or you don't mind being spoiled.
Warnings: None.
She was so tired. Tired of fighting, and tired of pretending, and tired of being something she wasn’t. That weariness had exploded last night with his confession.
His drunken confession, she corrected herself. All his charming, clever words, using ‘epic’ and his apparent desolation at the prospective end of their relationship, such as it was, had fought through her weariness and she’d run away. Apparently, she had inherited something, other than the blonde hair and perkiness, from her mother. When things get tough and scary? Run. It’s what Mars women did best.
She’d made it all the way to her car before the tide of tears finally engulfed her and she broke down. She cursed him for being the only person in her world who could made her lose control of her tightly restrained emotions. Her cool, distanced mask had only slipped once, when Logan had gotten her out of the River Stix. She hadn’t been sure at the time if she’d been more afraid for herself, or for him. She still wasn’t.
She jumped as a car door opened and she found herself face to face with the boy who could reduce her to a crying mess.
“Get out,” she whispered bitterly, swiping at her tear-stained cheeks.
“I woke up and she was there,” Logan muttered, running a hand through his dishevelled hair. At least he’d remembered to put on pants before running out of the hotel after her. “I don’t remember anything about last night.”
“Yes, Logan,” Veronica said, trying to find her voice. “That was painfully clear to me.”
“Just stop, Veronica, and think for a moment,” Logan pleaded. “If I don’t remember what I said to you, how could I remember calling Kendall? How could I be in any state to … do anything? With her?”
She arched an eyebrow. “Oh, Logan. You can do better than that.”
“Yes I can,” Logan admitted, surprisingly. “But this is the truth.”
“The truth is that I stupidly thought, for a moment, that you were finally being honest,” Veronica mocked. “I thought I was seeing the Logan Echolls I used to know. The guy who tried to save me when he thought I was in danger, no matter how dangerous it was. The guy who wasn’t afraid to break down in my arms. The guy who felt guilty over feeling something for someone who wasn’t Lilly. The guy who didn’t give up on me, or us.”
“I … don’t remember what I said to you!” Logan said, frustrated at his own failing memory, and frustrated with her.
“Oh, some line about you and me being epic, and lasting throughout the decades,” she said, the bitterness creeping back into her voice. “Something about apologising for what happened last summer, and wishing you could do it all again differently.”
“That made you come here, to see me, at …” he checked the car clock, “… 8.00 the morning after?”
“I bought into the charm, Logan,” Veronica said self-deprecatingly. “Trust me, it won’t happen again.”
Logan looked at her, searched her eyes, reflecting a hint of sadness in his own. “Trust you,” he repeated slowly. “Strange you should ask that of me, when you can’t extend the same courtesy to me. Then again, I’m not Duncan Kane.”
Logan climbed out of the car and slammed the door shut, leaving Veronica staring after him.
Veronica stayed where she was as she let her anger die down. A little. Not by much, actually, before she stormed through the hotel and ended up outside his suite. Again. There was no hesitation this time though. She banged her fist against the door, hard.
Logan opened the door. “Can I help you?”
Veronica glared at him before pushing past him and walked briskly into the hotel room. Cocking her head, she stared at Kendall, who’d managed to dress herself in the interim.
“Call me later,” Kendall whispered loudly to Logan as she patted his cheek before heading out.
“Bye-bye,” Logan said cheerfully as he slammed the door behind her.
“What was that crack about not being Duncan?” Veronica demanded.
“Duncan has achieved some kind of saint-like level in your mind,” Logan sighed. “If you walked in on him and he was naked and on top of a girl, you wouldn’t bat an eyelid. On the other hand, as soon as the flimsiest piece of evidence indicates me as being guilty of whatever crime you’re investigating this week, you’ve got me in court, swearing on a bible. It would be cute if it wasn’t so painfully true.”
“Duncan’s never given me a reason not to trust him,” Veronica fought back.
“What, like sleeping with you and leaving the next morning, leaving you to think you’d been raped for almost a year?” Logan scoffed. “Or maybe fathering a child with another girl and not telling you about it? Or maybe not telling dear old Mom and Dad about you, the second time round?”
Veronica stared at him.
“Let’s face it, Ronnie,” Logan resorted to his old nickname for her. “Last summer I was just filling in time until Duncan decided that he wanted you back. I was falling for you while you were wasting time.”
“That’s such a load of crap, Logan,” Veronica faltered. “I never used you. Duncan was there for me, but only when you stopped listening.”
“Could have fooled me,” Logan muttered. “Now, if that’s all, I have a hangover I’d like to sleep off, and a few conversations I’d like to forget. You know your way out.”
“You wouldn’t listen to me,” Veronica said softly, through numb lips and closed eyes.
Logan turned around slowly, confusion marring his eyes.
“You were going to get yourself killed,” Veronica carried on in a strange monotone. “I tried to make you listen, but you wouldn’t. I was terrified, so I had to walk away. You didn’t care enough to keep me.”
Logan said nothing. Even when they’d dated last summer, Veronica had hardly opened up to him. He wasn’t about to interrupt her when she was on a roll.
“You thought I was using you,” she repeated. “I thought you thought of me as a summer fling. Some little diversion until you found some more trouble to involve yourself in. I had to protect myself. Then you got involved with Kendall, and I thought it was proof that I was right. And Hannah. More proof. Until last night.”
Logan moved towards her. “You were never a fling.”
“That’s pretty much what you said last night,” Veronica’s mouth curved into a slight smile.
“I’m sorry I can’t remember,” Logan murmured as he stood before her. He lifted his hand slowly to brush her hair back from her face. “The sentiment still remains.”
Veronica looked up at him, her eyes more expressive than she wanted them to be. “You hurt me more than anyone else I know.”
“You think that doesn’t go both ways?” Logan asked.
She closed her eyes as she came to terms with his confession. “Kendall …” she motioned towards the door.
“I don’t know how she got here,” Logan repeated softly. “But she’s not here now, and she won’t be again.”
“I’m still not ready for anything, Logan,” she whispered as she looked up at him.
Logan lowered his head and kissed her forehead gently. Sweetly. “Hey, we’re epic, remember? I’m not going anywhere.”
It was a start.